Pensioner frugality- not spending !

HedgehogRulez

Some people aren’t made happy by the same things you are.
Perhaps they are content to live their lives as they are accustomed which, frankly, are people’s main driver. 

Expecting them to change their outlook is asking for angst on your part, and derision from theirs.

bjorn_toby_wilde

It might, but it seems more like a compulsive behaviour.

MikeJXE

It seems to be widespread 

My friends man and partner aged 80 and 85 respectively are loaded by my standards £700.000 and £300,000, both growing financially,  wear warmer clothes to save on heating, shop at Aldi, don’t go on holiday although she wants to. They both want different things but won’t buy them until on offer. We used to go out for a meal once  a week now its rarely. 

Sadly he has now early onset of Parkinson’s, I doubt she will be able to look after him so his wealth will probably go to a nursing home 

Emmia

MikeJXE said:

It seems to be widespread 

My friends man and partner aged 80 and 85 respectively are loaded by my standards £700.000 and £300,000, both growing financially,  wear warmer clothes to save on heating, shop at Aldi, don’t go on holiday although she wants to. They both want different things but won’t buy them until on offer. We used to go out for a meal once  a week now its rarely. 

Sadly he has now early onset of Parkinson’s, I doubt she will be able to look after him so his wealth will probably go to a nursing home 

But on one level that's not a bad thing as he will be able to choose the nursing home he goes to with that level of funding, so better food, care, activities and support... rather than a place that does the basics, chosen by the local authority on the basis of what the LA can afford, given their constrained budgets.

I'd prefer choice. Ultimately money doesn't make you happy, it just gives you choices.

Nebulous2

I've written before about an acquaintance with a large prestigious car and expensive private plate who goes most places by bus utilising his free bus pass. Yet he will drive 20 miles to pick up a friend then another 80 round trip to take them to a hospital appointment.

He has no problem spending his money on others, but struggles to do it on himself.... 

indiasign

My mother was the same. She had struggled with money for most of her life, so when she finally managed to get some behind her, she refused to consider spending extra on herself, despite encouragement from me and my brothers.

But at the same time, she was canny enough to plan ahead, leaving most of her estate to her grandchildren, because, as she (correctly) explained to me “they’ll need it more than you”.

As a result my daughters, and her cousins, now have a decent chunk of change for a deposit, when they starting looking to get on the property ladder

ali_bear

Being frugal can be a habit or a hobby. There is pleasure to be gained form seeking out bargains, minimising the heating bill. And for some being free with the spending doesn't sit comfortably, there may be trouble ahead, there are starving children in the world, they don't want others thinking of them as being wasteful...

If it is really against their interests then you should gently try to change their ways. Very gently at first. But changing one's own habits can be a very difficult thing to do. Changing someone else's is even harder. 

NormalNorman

The things is, the worthwhile and fulfilling activities tend to have negligible cost.

Many elderly I know in the family have huge savings which I've seen used for cleaners, private nurse visits etc.

Cobbler_tone

Depends on the definition of frugal. I'd imagine that my parents are pretty affluent but spend very little. Their house is like a sauna 365 though, so they don't hold back on what they need. The fact is that when you are in your late 80's, unless you are still travelling or have care needs you are unlikely to spend a lot in relative terms. 
I think it is the main reason it is sensible to front load your pension if possible. 

RipleyG

Don't underestimate the 'happiness' value of financial security - especially if you live alone and are potentially facing declining future health. 

And consider that your relative might actively be prioritising keeping money aside for a future care home to give themselves choice, the ability to move swiftly, and some element of independence from the beaurocratic mess of council care processes. Which, to my mind and based on my experiences of moving relatives in to care homes, is a very wise thing to do!