Pensions and divorce

Brie

SVaz said:

If he has a much larger pension,  you need a larger chunk of the House equity,  it’s really that simple if you both want things to be ‘equal’.

Presumably he’s a higher earner and will be able to afford a bigger mortgage?  

If it turned nasty and ended up going the legal route,  I doubt he’d have to share his pension if you’ve never been financially reliant on him. 

I'm not quite sure why you think that!  She may not have been financially reliant on him but he may well have had a "free" chef, cleaner, house manager so she deserves to be compensated for that. 

robatwork

Reading between the lines from what you said earlier, also bearing in mind you've never had a career break for bringing up your children, you should start at the point that his pension will more than make up for the value of your house. So he gives you the house as a 100:0 split, you both keep your pensions unencumbered. From there it depends how amicable it stays, but a clean break is important psychologically. Keeping tentacles attached to his pension won't be comfortable for either of you.  

ian1246

Brie said:

SVaz said:

If he has a much larger pension,  you need a larger chunk of the House equity,  it’s really that simple if you both want things to be ‘equal’.

Presumably he’s a higher earner and will be able to afford a bigger mortgage?  

If it turned nasty and ended up going the legal route,  I doubt he’d have to share his pension if you’ve never been financially reliant on him. 

I'm not quite sure why you think that!  She may not have been financially reliant on him but he may well have had a "free" chef, cleaner, house manager so she deserves to be compensated for that. 

You are massively projecting here. Its 2025, not the 1920's. Men are perfectly capable of pulling their weight domestically just as much as women.

As a counter point to what is a sexist post, I have recently come out of a divorce where 6 years into our relationship my wife at the time had to ask me where the dustpan and brush were kept (under the kitchen sink, where they had been from day 1) since in that entire time she had never picked them up, meanwhile she was incapable of ironing and you could count on 1 hand the amount of times she had either hoovered or cleaned the bathroom. As for mowing the lawn? Twice in 8 years before we split. Finances? Utility Bills? All left to me too manage. Cooking? Me the majority of the time.

The best bit? She worked as a Teaching Assistant (before we had kids) for the majority of those 8 years working 22hours a week 35 weeks a year whilst I served in the Police working full time hours (& all the rest!). Should I have been compensated for all the free domestic care my ex-wife benefitted from using your logic?

As for OP: Get CETV's for your & his pension - add them up. I.e. Him: £500,000. You: £150,000. £350,000 difference - split that in 2 = £175,000 to go your pension, making it £325,000 & his pension £325,000. That means you'd get (100/500000)*175000 = 35% of his accrued pension in this situation. Meanwhile you split the equity & any remaining capital 50/50 - the result would be a genuine 50/50 split of total assets.

Alternatively, he buys you out of his pension. I.e. in the above scenario it could be you get £175,000 more equity in the property than him I.e. £500,000 house split in 2 = £250,000 each. But he buys you out of the pension for an extra £175,000 - so you get £425,000 of the houses equity whilst he gets £75,000 - though admittedly a £ in pension CETV is not equal to a £ in equity, since the difference is with house equity your immediately benefitting from it whereas the extra pension is something which might only be benefitted from decades from now.

That said, the expected retirement age for the CARE Police Pension scheme is 60 (you can go as early as 55) - and is even earlier for the older pensions.

Juno_Moneta

What a palaver. Anyone happily cohabiting, with unequal assets, and considering getting married - should take note of this thread!

Whilst obviously not going to happen - it would be very interesting to hear from the OPs partner as to whether the years he enjoyed this marriage were worth it compared to the massive hit his finances are about to take not just today - but for the rest of his life thanks to the pension reduction…  

Also:

“Marriage rates are declining globally, including in the UK and US, due to factors like changing social attitudes, the rise of cohabitation as an alternative, increased financial pressures, and a lessened societal stigma against unmarried couples. The Office for National Statistics (ONS) in England and Wales reported a 20.8% decrease in marriages between 1992 and 2022.”

SVaz

If OP was never a ‘housewife’ or dependent for want of a better term and has her own pension provision, it’s unlikely she would be awarded any share of his pension if it went to court.

My Sister in law came out of a 25 year marriage where she had been dependent ( she’s disabled) and only ended up with a fraction of her ex-husband’s massive MEB pension ( it was so big he bought a property outright with his tfls and retired at 55).
She kept the house she was born in but because he’d pigged about for 3 years she was deeply in debt and had to sell, it was an ex-council house worth £50k at that time. 

She gets a whopping £120 a month from the annuity that was arranged. 

Don’t ever assume you know how an ex will act when divorcing,  it very oftern turns nasty. 

Albermarle

ian1246 said:

Brie said:

SVaz said:

If he has a much larger pension,  you need a larger chunk of the House equity,  it’s really that simple if you both want things to be ‘equal’.

Presumably he’s a higher earner and will be able to afford a bigger mortgage?  

If it turned nasty and ended up going the legal route,  I doubt he’d have to share his pension if you’ve never been financially reliant on him. 

I'm not quite sure why you think that!  She may not have been financially reliant on him but he may well have had a "free" chef, cleaner, house manager so she deserves to be compensated for that. 

You are massively projecting here. Its 2025, not the 1920's. Men are perfectly capable of pulling their weight domestically just as much as women.

As a counter point to what is a sexist post, I have recently come out of a divorce where 6 years into our relationship my wife at the time had to ask me where the dustpan and brush were kept (under the kitchen sink, where they had been from day 1) since in that entire time she had never picked them up, meanwhile she was incapable of ironing and you could count on 1 hand the amount of times she had either hoovered or cleaned the bathroom. As for mowing the lawn? Twice in 8 years before we split. Finances? Utility Bills? All left to me too manage. Cooking? Me the majority of the time.

The best bit? She worked as a Teaching Assistant (before we had kids) for the majority of those 8 years working 22hours a week 35 weeks a year whilst I served in the Police working full time hours (& all the rest!). Should I have been compensated for all the free domestic care my ex-wife benefitted from using your logic?

As for OP: Get CETV's for your & his pension - add them up. I.e. Him: £500,000. You: £150,000. £350,000 difference - split that in 2 = £175,000 to go your pension, making it £325,000 & his pension £325,000. That means you'd get (100/500000)*175000 = 35% of his accrued pension in this situation. Meanwhile you split the equity & any remaining capital 50/50 - the result would be a genuine 50/50 split of total assets.

Alternatively, he buys you out of his pension. I.e. in the above scenario it could be you get £175,000 more equity in the property than him I.e. £500,000 house split in 2 = £250,000 each. But he buys you out of the pension for an extra £175,000 - so you get £425,000 of the houses equity whilst he gets £75,000 - though admittedly a £ in pension CETV is not equal to a £ in equity, since the difference is with house equity your immediately benefitting from it whereas the extra pension is something which might only be benefitted from decades from now.

That said, the expected retirement age for the CARE Police Pension scheme is 60 (you can go as early as 55) - and is even earlier for the older pensions.

: Get CETV's for your & his pension - add them up. I.e. Him: £500,000. You: £150,000. £350,000 difference - split that in 2 = £175,000 to go your pension, making it £325,000 & his pension £325,000. That means you'd get (100/500000)*175000 = 35% of his accrus for OPed pension in this situation. Meanwhile you split the equity & any remaining capital 50/50 - the result would be a genuine 50/50 split of total assets.

This is a complicated scenario. Splitting DB pensions can be a tortuous business and AIUI only happens in a minority of cases.

Alternatively, he buys you out of his pension. I.e. in the above scenario it could be you get £175,000 more equity in the property than him I.e. £500,000 house split in 2 = £250,000 each. But he buys you out of the pension for an extra £175,000 - so you get £425,000 of the houses equity whilst he gets £75,000 - though admittedly a £ in pension CETV is not equal to a £ in equity, since the difference is with house equity your immediately benefitting from it whereas the extra pension is something which might only be benefitted from decades from now.

This type of thing is a much more common scenario, if only because it is more practical and easier to sort out.

Albermarle

ian1246 said:

Brie said:

SVaz said:

If he has a much larger pension,  you need a larger chunk of the House equity,  it’s really that simple if you both want things to be ‘equal’.

Presumably he’s a higher earner and will be able to afford a bigger mortgage?  

If it turned nasty and ended up going the legal route,  I doubt he’d have to share his pension if you’ve never been financially reliant on him. 

I'm not quite sure why you think that!  She may not have been financially reliant on him but he may well have had a "free" chef, cleaner, house manager so she deserves to be compensated for that. 

You are massively projecting here. Its 2025, not the 1920's. Men are perfectly capable of pulling their weight domestically just as much as women.

As a counter point to what is a sexist post, I have recently come out of a divorce where 6 years into our relationship my wife at the time had to ask me where the dustpan and brush were kept (under the kitchen sink, where they had been from day 1) since in that entire time she had never picked them up, meanwhile she was incapable of ironing and you could count on 1 hand the amount of times she had either hoovered or cleaned the bathroom. As for mowing the lawn? Twice in 8 years before we split. Finances? Utility Bills? All left to me too manage. Cooking? Me the majority of the time.

The best bit? She worked as a Teaching Assistant (before we had kids) for the majority of those 8 years working 22hours a week 35 weeks a year whilst I served in the Police working full time hours (& all the rest!). Should I have been compensated for all the free domestic care my ex-wife benefitted from using your logic?

As for OP: Get CETV's for your & his pension - add them up. I.e. Him: £500,000. You: £150,000. £350,000 difference - split that in 2 = £175,000 to go your pension, making it £325,000 & his pension £325,000. That means you'd get (100/500000)*175000 = 35% of his accrued pension in this situation. Meanwhile you split the equity & any remaining capital 50/50 - the result would be a genuine 50/50 split of total assets.

Alternatively, he buys you out of his pension. I.e. in the above scenario it could be you get £175,000 more equity in the property than him I.e. £500,000 house split in 2 = £250,000 each. But he buys you out of the pension for an extra £175,000 - so you get £425,000 of the houses equity whilst he gets £75,000 - though admittedly a £ in pension CETV is not equal to a £ in equity, since the difference is with house equity your immediately benefitting from it whereas the extra pension is something which might only be benefitted from decades from now.

That said, the expected retirement age for the CARE Police Pension scheme is 60 (you can go as early as 55) - and is even earlier for the older pensions.

As for OP: Get CETV's for your & his pension - add them up. I.e. Him: £500,000. You: £150,000. £350,000 difference - split that in 2 = £175,000 to go your pension, making it £325,000 & his pension £325,000. That means you'd get (100/500000)*175000 = 35% of his accrued pension in this situation. Meanwhile you split the equity & any remaining capital 50/50 - the result would be a genuine 50/50 split of total assets.

This is the complicated way to do it. Splitting DB pensions is not easy, or even possible in some cases.

Alternatively, he buys you out of his pension. I.e. in the above scenario it could be you get £175,000 more equity in the property than him I.e. £500,000 house split in 2 = £250,000 each. But he buys you out of the pension for an extra £175,000 - so you get £425,000 of the houses equity whilst he gets £75,000 - though admittedly a £ in pension CETV is not equal to a £ in equity, since the difference is with house equity your immediately benefitting from it whereas the extra pension is something which might only be benefitted from decades from now.

This would be a more typical scenario, as it is more practical and easier to sort out.

Silvertabby

Just to clarify - under current UK law Court ordered PSOs (Pension Sharing Orders) only apply to marred/civil partners, and not co-habiting couples.