Finally Come Clean

ShamefulSoul

Hi all,

So I have finally come clean to my other half regarding my debt. Not the full extent, as I am not ready, but I will be with time.

This is due to a gambling addiction, for which I am seeking help. I have signed up to gamstop & intend on making an appointment with GP.

Naturally he is upset, disappointed & things are frosty at home. We have children at home and he is standing by me.

As you can imagine, I am not feeling good about myself.

I suppose my question is where do I go from here? I am keen on a DMP, but the debts are cirka 50k. I cannot afford the repayments and I have stopped them from today.

I am frightened to death about all the mail I am going to receive.

Any help appreciated.

MattMattMattUK

ShamefulSoul said:

Hi all,

So I have finally come clean to my other half regarding my debt. Not the full extent, as I am not ready, but I will be with time.

This is due to a gambling addiction, for which I am seeking help. I have signed up to gamstop & intend on making an appointment with GP.

Naturally he is upset, disappointed & things are frosty at home. We have children at home and he is standing by me.

As you can imagine, I am not feeling good about myself.

I suppose my question is where do I go from here? I am keen on a DMP, but the debts are cirka 50k. I cannot afford the repayments and I have stopped them from today.

I am frightened to death about all the mail I am going to receive.

Any help appreciated.

Do you own your home or rent, both employed, married?

Do you owe any money to the bank/banking group you have your current account with? If you do you need to open a new current account with a different banking group straight away and transfer any money into that, as well as any essential bills and where salary/benefits go. 

The letters and phone calls will be trying to get you to pay, expect them to be coloured red and use lots of somewhat threatening language about destroying your credit rating (which is not real anyway), ignore them until they have defaulted. 

Are you prepared to post an SOA so people can give you a bitt of guidance? 

Emmia

Do you have a joint account or joint mortgage with your other half?

RAS

Yep, we really need more information to help.

Just to add that you probably feel as bad as all the other folk who've come on here with gambling issues in the last few weeks.

There is nothing you can do about what's happened. And you are responsible for the future.

I'd suggest answering the queries, spending a bit of time doing the SOA and we'll help you find ways forward. 

ManyWays

Here is the link for a Statement of Affairs. Please put in the real lenders names, not CC1. This is tough to fill out, but you have already done the really hard bit by telling your partner.
https://www.stoozing.com/soa.php

ShamefulSoul

It was very hard.

We have a joint account & a joint mortgage. Both work full time.

I will try to do the SOA over the next couple of days.

RAS

OK

Priority to protect your partner's credit record is to remove your name or close all joint consumer accounts.

Then set up a new basic (no credit check needed) bank account.

Depending on how confident you are, you need to discuss with your partner whether you pay your salary into an account in his name and he arrange a SO for personal spends, or whether you get it into your account, with an automatic SO to him paying your share of the household bills.

And going forward, full transparency, a weekly money chat, then share statements and plan every month, just before salaries are paid in.