Life after discharge - 13years later

justabumpintheroad

I wanted to share this here to give a tiny bit of hope to people who are in the thick of it right now.

I declared myself bankrupt in 2013 after 6 years of struggling, hiding, burying my head in the sand, abject poverty, and personal tragedies. I found this forum extremely helpful at the time and I was a frequent lurker but a rare commenter. I can't access my old account unfortunately, so I made this new one.

I was discharged after a whole year and I followed a lot of the advice in this forum at the time. I stuck with the Barclays basic account I had had through the process and a small victory was a few years later when they converted it to a 'normal' bank account. 
I took out a Vanquis Credit card (with £100 credit) and used it for my petrol and paid it off in full every month. I took out another credit card with Capital One and did exactly the same for a few years. 

I wanted to take small credit out that wasn't just cards so I tried my luck. A low point in 2018 was getting rejected for credit on a £600 mattress. A super exciting moment in that same year was when we needed new sofas (£4000). I sat in the showroom on pins thinking I'd immediately be rejected, but they accepted my application straight away. Riddle me that!?
 
I got my head down and did well at work. I jumped jobs a few times to move up the ladder and improved my pay. I went freelance and managed to save save save, kept on top of my taxes and kept grinding through. I got married and had a second child and took just 4 weeks off from freelancing as my mat leave and we somehow juggled the baby between us both working and had very little childcare help. We wanted to spend as little as possible on nursery fees in order to keep saving so I'd work through the night and my husband would work through the day. We were like zombies at times.

In early 2020, I was very fortunate to have some savings and I was pretty much debt free, bar the sofas and the cards which usually had a balance of about £300 a month, again, still being paid off in full and they both kept putting the credit limits up despite me never going above £500 balances. 

I found a good mortgage advisor who had worked with former bankrupts. He never made me feel judged. He explained the options and that my freelancing wouldn't be accepted for a mortgage, so I went back to working for a former employer even though it meant earning less, the 'stability' of a guaranteed income was enough for the lenders and it got us a mortgage in principal.
Then the search started. We looked high, low, near and far, in and out of lockdowns, armed with facemasks and hand sanitiser at every viewing. We eventually found 'the one' and the mortgage went through. It felt like a fairy tale. I couldn't believe this was possible. I cried. A lot of tears were shed. 

A couple of years ago, I went back to freelancing and made it official with a limited company rather than just self-assessment. The mortgage lenders like limited companies better than self assessment, apparently. 

My credit scores kept building, but I'd never seen them go above the middle marks since the mid-2000s. 

Last night, I got a notification that Bank of Scotland had done a hard search - we're in the process of getting a new mortgage to get a better deal after living with the consequences of the cluster f*** of the Liz Truss budget and interest rates hike for the last 2 years. The notification came from my Monzo account, so I clicked in and saw my scores on the app. I took this quick screenshot because I couldn't quite believe it was real. Then I cried a bit, obviously. 

I wanted to share this with the forum to say that it can get better after you go through this. Small steps every week, shrewd decisions, and one eye always on the accounts is my best advice for life after discharge.
That's not to say it's easy. It's traumatic going through it and those feelings stay with you. I still feel nauseous every time I make any sort of application. I am still jittery about debt. I welcome that fear, though. The fear keeps me on edge and stops me falling into bad habits again. 

Simple rules I follow:
1. Always ask if it's a need or a want.
2. Always ask if it's an immediate need or something that can wait.
3. Open the post as soon as it arrives. No piles of unopened bills allowed. 
4. If you can afford to pay it off, then do it. Don't keep a debt any longer than you need to. 
5. Be kind to yourself. Don't lose hope that things can get better.

Please feel free to ask me any questions or tell me to sod off if you're not in the right headspace to read this at present. 

I wish you all the very best on this journey. It's a tough one. 

Brie

Well done you!!!  

I'd add to rule 5 or include this as rule 6 - Forgive yourself if you fail a bit.  Lesson learned, correct the mistake and move on.  

So many of us have been there and come through this.  It's good to hold out hope to others.  

justabumpintheroad

I've just realised the picture might not be showing. It's a screenshot of the Monzo app with my scores reading 647/710, 934/1000 and 944/999.

justabumpintheroad

Thank you. And 100% agree with rule 6. I'm not perfect and I did make some mistakes. Self forgiveness is so important and making a plan to correct it is all part of the journey to getting back on track. 

Brie

justabumpintheroad said:

I've just realised the picture might not be showing. It's a screenshot of the Monzo app with my scores reading 647/710, 934/1000 and 944/999.

Showing on my pc!

People state that credit scores are meaningless as the creditors never look at them.  Which is true but it does also reflect generally how well someone might be doing.  Your scores are much better than mine!!!

beeteecee

This is an amazing story & gives me hope as someone who will be going bankrupt very soon. Thank you for sharing @justabumpintheroad - would it be rude to ask how old you were when all this happened (ballpark is fine)? I'm 38 as we speak...I worry about life after bankruptcy but it sounds like, with discipline, there is hope!

justabumpintheroad

Of course. I’m 42. I was 29 when I declared. 

There is hope. It can get better. The first few years are undeniably tough where everything seems closed off to you but it improves little by little, year by year. 

beeteecee

justabumpintheroad said:

Of course. I’m 42. I was 29 when I declared. 

There is hope. It can get better. The first few years are undeniably tough where everything seems closed off to you but it improves little by little, year by year. 

Thank you for sharing! I can't help wish I'd sorted myself out sooner . I have no need or desire for any credit to be honest just want everything straightened up...

frosty1970

Partner declared bankruptcy back in 2006 (philnicandamy) a few rough days but in the end best thing he ever did...He's 55yrs old

beeteecee

I am in the process of saving the cash...just trying to find a way to do it without letting the whole family down & getting through the most expensive time of the year...