Help with debts!

Rob5342

UTT12 said:

RAS said:

Well done for tackling the gambling. And now looking at the debt.

The stark fact is that sooner or later, you wife will find out. I'm astounded that she hasn't done so thus far. Where does she think your income goes? Does she understand why you can't fund nicer things? Or have you been funding that by getting more debt? 

So often partners know something is not quite right. Many are just so grateful it is just debt and not A N Other.

The damage is often because the debtor hasn't trusted their partner and it takes time to recover that situation. You'll need to be prepared to be transparent on an on-going basis. It's good practice anyway but even more so to have your main cheer leader rooting for you.

And you might just want to check out affordability claims on some of these debts, once your missus knows.

I've funded it by getting more debt. Yes I will look at telling my wife it just feels very dusting at the prospect at the moment. In relation to the affordability claims. How would I approach/challange that? And when would it be best to do this?

Thanks

Debt camel explains the process. If you have stopped paying and are waiting for defaults then you could get started with these now. It can be a long process and results aren't guaranteed, so keep at it, and don't count on it and just treat it as a bonus if you get a good result. I think it was three out of nine complaints that I had good results on, and with my Nationwide one it was two years from writing the initial complaint letter to getting the refund cheque from them (having pushed it all the way through the FOS process) 

https://debtcamel.co.uk/refunds-catalogue-credit-card/

ManyWays

I too think affordability complaints about all the debts and send them to the Ombudsman if they are rejected; as you are about to default on all the debts, you have nothing to lose by pushing these as far as possible.

This won't affect your mortgage or getting a new fix either; only mortgage arrears would affect that.

I also agree about telling your wife, This is going to be a loan road out of debt for you and the more moral support you have the better. You have a plan to deal with the debts and crucially you have stopped gambling (if that was online, sign up to Gamban now and also show her that, more effective than Gamstop). Complete transparency is the best policy. 

enthusiasticsaver

You have made a start by setting up a new account and the first step is defaults.  If you have joint accounts with your wife she will be financially associated with you so any defaults will also show on her record so you should close joint accounts and explain why hard as that may be. In a partnership it really will not work if one partner is trying to pay down debt and the other is oblivious to their financial situation. At the same time you will need to convince her you have the gambling under control.  Having a plan to deal with the debt is the main thing and it sounds like a DMP is your only option. Wait for the defaults, save for emergencies and then set up either a self managed DMP or through stepchange. 

You can still transfer to new mortgage products on a DMP as long as you stay with your current lender.