Should I trade my car in due to impending new baby or not?

punkrock101

Hi all. Sorry for the lengthiness…!

Two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant with my first child (early days). I also am stepmother to my husband’s son from a previous relationship, now 6yo. 

My husband has started a new job and one of the perks is a ‘salary sacrifice car’ and spouses are allowed to use them. With nearly every vehicle he’s had to date since we’ve lived together, I can count on one hand the amount of vehicles he’s allowed me to drive, the rest of them not so much - including his current one, a Land Rover Freelander 2, which due to old age, will be going once the SSC comes along.

For nearly two years now I’ve driven a three-door Volkswagen Up. When I became stepmother to my stepson at eight weeks old (his birth mum basically doesn’t want anything to do with him and I now have extended PR for him), I was driving a three-door Renault Clio up until it got written off when SS was four months old. It was a pain in the neck to strap a rear facing child seat in the back seat. I had the front seat airbags deactivated so the car seat could be put in the front if needed, but I still had to put the car seat in the back seat sometimes - not to mention it’s generally safer in the back seat. SS is still in a front facing car seat, for context, and it is a pain in the neck to navigate it out of the back seat if needed. 

I intend to pay the finance off next month. I’ve tried discussing with my husband it would be an idea to trade my car in for a five-door car (at the very least a five-door Up) but he won’t hear of it. His excuse is he’s going to use the Up for commuting to work. For context he has always been able to drive my car if needed. 1) What is the harm in having a backup option in the event the SSC couldn’t be used? 2) He has had history for not sharing use of his car with me in spite of me being on the insurance - it was notably the case with his current car and previous car, so there is a blatant fifty-fifty chance the SSC will go the same way. 

If this is the case I would end up housebound when baby arrives. I don’t mind using public transport but it’s besides the point and I shouldn’t have to. My Up is an automatic, my previous car was also an automatic (my husband is automatic-only and my mum, who also shares my car and also shared my previous two cars with me, is now automatic-only as well due to ill health). I was not obliged to go automatic-only to accommodate him so I feel I should be respected on the trade-in front. 

Bottom line is - should I trade the Up in for a five-door car behind my husband’s back or take a gamble on whether he follows through with the SSC use or not?

SaverRate

Personally, would trade it in but I would be looking at a Kia Ceed/VW Golf sized car as the car seat (depending on model & features) can be quite big and take up alot of room. 

Brie

I'd be wondering about trading in your husband if he thinks what's his is his and what's your is his too.  But as this isn't mumsnet I'll set that aside.....

a 5 door VW up is very roomy for everyone except my very tall/big OH.  I have managed to get chairs and cupboards into mine so getting a couple of kids seats in should be easy.  And still lots of room for whatever else you need to carry.  And if you've had the smaller version you'll know how nippy they are to drive and easy to park.  All very good things in my book.

So you need the bigger car and that leaves the issue of your husband wanting both your old car and his new work car for himself.  Ask him if he wants to pay you for your old car if he wants you to be a 3 car family as you definitely need a bigger car that is suitable for his children.  Do you have room for 3 cars to park easily on your drive?

punkrock101

Brie said:

I'd be wondering about trading in your husband if he thinks what's his is his and what's your is his too.  But as this isn't mumsnet I'll set that aside.....

a 5 door VW up is very roomy for everyone except my very tall/big OH.  I have managed to get chairs and cupboards into mine so getting a couple of kids seats in should be easy.  And still lots of room for whatever else you need to carry.  And if you've had the smaller version you'll know how nippy they are to drive and easy to park.  All very good things in my book.

So you need the bigger car and that leaves the issue of your husband wanting both your old car and his new work car for himself.  Ask him if he wants to pay you for your old car if he wants you to be a 3 car family as you definitely need a bigger car that is suitable for his children.  Do you have room for 3 cars to park easily on your drive?

Not room for three cars to park easily on the drive - one would have to go on the road outside the house. I’m 5’11” with a broad frame and I find the Up roomy.

Myci85

I wouldn't trade behind his back, end of the day it is your car, your choice. I'd trade if you want to, or give him the choice that you keep the up and you automatically get to use the SSC whenever you want to. If there is a chance he'll keep using it so you've nothing to use but the up, def trade it in for a 5 door of your choice, thinking about fitting a pushchair in the boot with shopping etc too.