Child going abroad with grandparents for a year

miumius

Eldest son is going to stay with his grandparents (ex husbands parents) and attend school there (Canada) for a year. My ex husband seems to think he will just give his parents what he normally gives for child maintenance directly to his parents, however I have a great relationship and agreement with his parents already where the child maintenance arrangement we have with CMS stays in place and I send them money directly to cover his board and all that he needs, I am still his parent and main carer. What are my rights here or what do I need to do with this - its a temporary one year situation but I can sense my ex husband is trying to f*** me on this because he enjoys the financial power. 

Thanks! 

elsien

Given that you won’t have any direct child costs for the next year, I can see why your husband thinks it’s better to give the money to his parents instead. 

However If you and his family already have an agreement they  are happy to stick to, then he gives maintenance to his parents, they deduct what you’ve  agreed and return the rest to you? 

Voyager2002

elsien said:

Given that you won’t have any direct child costs for the next year, I can see why your husband thinks it’s better to give the money to his parents instead. 

However If you and his family already have an agreement they  are happy to stick to, then he gives maintenance to his parents, they deduct what you’ve  agreed and return the rest to you? 

I think the issue is that once he stops paying through CMS, reinstating the arrangement will involve a lot of effort.

miumius

It’s also an issue of control - even if we moved to Canada say permanently he’d still have to pay child maintenance as they have an inter country agreement. 

Basically I’m asking do I have to even notify child maintenance of this year long arrangement as I am still paying all of his expenses same as he’d be at home plus I’m also maintaining his home here for when he returns, maintenance being not just for daily food etc. 

Im looking for someone who knows the legalities of it before my ex husband breaks a cms agreement which was a pain to get in the first place 

unforeseen

I would think that there may also be a question of child benefit as well

miumius

Child benefit would stop, that’s an easy one

Child maintenance is different and not a payment from the government. This question is about child maintenance 

tacpot12

The CMS can't enforce child maintenance if your child has moved abroad for more than 12 weeks, so it will be easy for your ex-husband to derail the agreement by reporting the change to the CMS. 

I can't see a way you can avoid the CMS arrangement stopping, other than by not letting your son leave the country. Clearly you are not going to stop your son from spending this time with his grandparents, just because your ex will make it difficult to restart the arrangement when/if your son returns. If he makes it impossible, he will be impoverishing his son, and I doubt his parents will not leave you without some financial help if they know the truth and can spare the money.

You also have a year when you will be saving money, and possibly work more hours. This will allow you to save up so that you can live for at least a year while you fight to reinstate the CMS arrangement. Your ex-husband sounds awful, but you will have to deal with this fact again and again until your son is an adult. It's not fair, and I'm so sorry you have this hanging over you, but the rules aren't flexible. If he tells them, I think the arrangements will stop. 

Your only hope is to persuade him not to tell them and to continue to pay you. You might try to find various ways to convince him that this is in his interests.