Please help with my defence statement - Draft paragraph 3

mymisc2839

Hi, i've followed the Newbies thread and I'm now on the Template Defence thread. Thanks for that @Coupon-mad

Please let me know if this paragraph is suitable to add as paragraph 3 in my defence on MCOL? Is there anything I should add or remove?

Also, I mention my shopping receipt but is there a place to upload this on MCOL? 


3. The Defendant asserts that the private parking charge is unjust and should be cancelled. The vehicle was parked solely for the purpose of shopping at B&M, where the Defendant spent £236.87, as shown by the receipt. The time parked reflects the duration reasonably required to complete this substantial purchase. The Defendant acted lawfully and within the expected use of the car park. Issuing a charge in these circumstances is disproportionate and without valid basis. Furthermore, the Defendant did not receive any prior correspondence regarding this matter and only became aware upon receipt of the Claim Form. It is unclear how the Claimant obtained the Defendant’s address for service at this stage but failed to do so earlier. This calls into question the adequacy of the Claimant’s tracing efforts and the fairness of proceeding without prior notice.

Gr1pr

No evidence is submitted with the defence on MCOL   ( or at all  ), so some adjustments are needed 

Name the parking company and the lawyers involved  ( if any  )

Post a redacted picture of the POC from the lower left of the claim form below after hiding the VRM details first 

Coupon-mad

Evidence comes much later on. Not with the defence.

Show us the Claim Form, data & password/claim no and your VRM redacted.

mymisc2839

Gr1pr said:

No evidence is submitted with the defence on MCOL   ( or at all  ), so some adjustments are needed 

Name the parking company and the lawyers involved  ( if any  )

Post a redacted picture of the POC from the lower left of the claim form below after hiding the VRM details first 

Thanks for responding so quick. Ok how is this:
Strikethrough showing what will be removed and bold for what has been added.

3. The Defendant asserts that the private parking charge is unjust and should be cancelled. The vehicle was parked solely for the purpose of shopping at B&M, where the Defendant spent £236.87, as shown by the receipt. The time parked reflects the duration reasonably required to complete this substantial purchase. The Defendant acted lawfully and within the expected use of the car park. Issuing a charge in these circumstances is disproportionate and without valid basis. Furthermore, the Defendant did not receive any prior correspondence regarding this matter and only became aware upon receipt of the Claim Form. It is unclear how Premier Park Limited, represented by BW Legal obtained the Defendant’s address for service at this stage but failed to do so earlier. This calls into question the adequacy of the Claimant’s tracing efforts and the fairness of proceeding without prior notice.


Also, I'm sorry I don't understand the terms you are using - POC? VRM? Are you saying to upload it here on this thread? If so, why?

Not_A_Hope

The Particulars of Claim POC) are on the claim form you have received from the court. Depending on exactly what Premier Park / BW Legal have written may provide further defence points you can use. A substantial purchase from B&M unfortunately is not necessarily a defence as found in the Supreme Court case of ParkingEye v Beavis. If you had found out about the PCN at the outset a complaint to the shop may have more chance of being successful.

The regulars will try to help find other defence points. A redacted copy of the claim form without personal details or Vehicle Registration Mark helps enormously. 

mymisc2839

Not_A_Hope said:

The Particulars of Claim POC) are on the claim form you have received from the court. Depending on exactly what Premier Park / BW Legal have written may provide further defence points you can use. A substantial purchase from B&M unfortunately is not necessarily a defence as found in the Supreme Court case of ParkingEye v Beavis. If you had found out about the PCN at the outset a complaint to the shop may have more chance of being successful.

The regulars will try to help find other defence points. A redacted copy of the claim form without personal details or Vehicle Registration Mark helps enormously. 

Got you, Thank you.
Here it is.

Not_A_Hope

They have stated the contractual term they allege you breached. Sometimes they don’t and this can lead the courts to dismiss the case. What evidence have they provided? How far over the maximum period were you?

Have you got photos of the signage at the site? They are claiming £70 as set out in their trade association COP but what was actually on the signs? Most judges will dismiss the fake add on especially if it wasn’t stated on the sign which forms the contract.

mymisc2839

Not_A_Hope said:

They have stated the contractual term they allege you breached. Sometimes they don’t and this can lead the courts to dismiss the case. What evidence have they provided? How far over the maximum period were you?

Have you got photos of the signage at the site? They are claiming £70 as set out in their trade association COP but what was actually on the signs? Most judges will dismiss the fake add on especially if it wasn’t stated on the sign which forms the contract.

I could go back and have a look and take some pictures soon. 
Also in hindsight, I just remembered, I received letters from the Legal team to my correct address. But the initial letters from the parking guys didn't go to my address. 

So, can I still use that as a complaint - that they did not send letters to my address?

Gr1pr

Not really,  because the parking company obtains a keeper address from the dvla database within 6 months of the incident and posts the pcn to that address , as do the police,  council,  DART, toll bridges and tunnels etc, ( the keeper has a legal requirement to keep it up to date,  so missing paperwork is usually the keeper's fault,  so not a defence point in court   )

mymisc2839

Gr1pr said:

Not really,  because the parking company obtains a keeper address from the dvla database within 6 months of the incident and posts the pcn to that address , as do the police,  council,  DART, toll bridges and tunnels etc, ( the keeper has a legal requirement to keep it up to date,  so missing paperwork is usually the keeper's fault,  so not a defence point in court   )

Ok, thank you. 
What do you suggest I replace this with as my defence? Or should I just leave paragraph 3 out totally and just submit the rest of the templated email?

Gr1pr

You definitely need a paragraph 3, otherwise it would not be there,  that section is for your bespoke defence against the allegation,  the rest of the template is common legal arguments,  common to all defendants

I won't be suggesting anything,  because its your paragraph to write , not mine, not ours, but as you wrote one earlier,  why not strike out the invalid arguments  ? The parts that prompted my reply   ?

My point is don't use irrelevant points like not receiving paperwork if you hadn't updated your V5c document, it's not a valid point, easily countered by the claimant,  their argument would be,  it's the defendants fault due to not updating their v5c after moving, a legal requirement,  their responsibility,  their problem,  but we followed correct protocols because we traced their correct address before starting the legal process