More going out than coming in!

MattMattMattUK

To be blunt, you need to tackle this together as a couple, otherwise there is no point in even trying. That means accepting that the debts are not "your debts" and "my debts", but "our debts". You have said that they have come from living beyond your means as a family rather than you spending frivolously on yourself, so they are essentially family debts.

Work together to come up with a plan, I agree with the other posters that that will almost certainly involve some form of DMP, going through that process together is far better than trying to do it individually but at the same time. You can then also make sure that whilst repaying debts you can support each other and also give yourself enough space to still be able to do fun things with your child. 

kimwp

MattMattMattUK said:

To be blunt, you need to tackle this together as a couple, otherwise there is no point in even trying. That means accepting that the debts are not "your debts" and "my debts", but "our debts". You have said that they have come from living beyond your means as a family rather than you spending frivolously on yourself, so they are essentially family debts.

Work together to come up with a plan, I agree with the other posters that that will almost certainly involve some form of DMP, going through that process together is far better than trying to do it individually but at the same time. You can then also make sure that whilst repaying debts you can support each other and also give yourself enough space to still be able to do fun things with your child. 

I wouldn't go so far as to say there's no point trying, but it will make it a lot easier to deal with the debts together - you can decide which costs to bring down and tackle them together, encourage each other when it feels tough etc. you can do these things with separate finances, but it's easier to act as a team if you share the same goals.

Where there's really no point is where one person is trying to cut back and the other is spending more and more.