What to do (looking here also to see if anyone can help)

Justme4

Right this is so hard for me to have to write but here goes… and any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated!! 

So I have had ( and relapsed) a gambling problem. I’m a single parent with 4 children. I work part time and always have. 

This battle has been going on for years but iv always stayed above water with help from family bailing me out on short months when iv really messed up. Iv done plenty of balance transfers and never missed a payment. 

In December I stopped drinking after a long battle with that, also had a debt plan once and for all to rid my self of the extra stress and pressure of debt repayments along with giving my kids a good life. 

In April I had a mental break down (possibly from no longer masking issues with alcohol everything in my mind imploded) I ended up under the mental health team off work for 8 weeks and now waiting to see mental health team possibly for a diagnoses (tried to diagnose years ago when I was in my early 20s with bpd/bipolar) I ran as this sacred this !!!!!! out of me. But in turn spent 10 years or more drinking and gambling .. even writing this knocks me sick! 

So during this breakdown with seems to be a huge memory lapse and some questionable decisions … so here we go….

i was still covering credit cards on interest free but had alight bulb moment and thought right I’ll get a loan consolidate pay off car and I’ll be in a better position, now I did do some of this but I also hit the biggest urge ever and withdrew some of this cash in the hopes that I could get a win and be free of this. £6k I withdrew now some of it was to pay back some family debts and the rest I threw at my addiction a dwindled it in the bookies over a few weeks!!!! Not my greatest moment… still having battles with mental health and trying to cheer my self up, I then got a £5k loan which I was going to take me and the kids on holiday (that never happened) the bookies and online slots got that too!!! 

I’m still thinking it’s ok I can’t get through this something will fall into place (dad was sending money which was covering my debts which he doesn’t know and I can’t tell him), I spent on my PayPal getting kids birthday gifts ect also bought a scope for my son which I then sold!! Klarna had become my best friend (nothings making me feel better) …. Then I find an online non GameStop site which accepted credit card!!! With a big spend and win and spend again I had to transfer interest free 3k and then because iv blown all my cash 1 weeks later took 3k as a money transfer.. this is all not good but I’m ok because…. 

My father was sending me money and I was surviving just. No one knows about my addiction and I’m so ashamed… but here’s the kicker!!!!!! 

Iv fallen out with my father very recently  and my eldest child’s dad has had to stop paying child maintenance as he’s having financial difficulties, again very recently..: So we know where this is going now, my lines of income have screwed up completely leaving me in a place where I need to do something or I will just make this worse trying to live on cards which I don’t want to do. As that’s making this whole thing worse. 

This is making my mental health worse the anxiety depression and panick attacks are consuming me daily I’m not sleeping I’m just royally !!!!!!! Iv let my self down my children down my family down! I really darent tell them, and what makes it worse my brains like “you’ve messed up anyways, so iv still spent again hoping to cheer my self up. 

Iv now closed all access to any sites and put a block on all my cards to prevent gambling) I’m looking to join maybe GA 

What do I do?? What do you need to know to advise me on what to do? 

My only asset is my car which is worth about 6k, I rent and work part time with UC top ups. 

My income is with benefits is approx averaged as it changes slightly (4 weeks or 5 weeks month) wages £1057 £305 CB £1406 UC … iv done this as an average to make it easier. Just my debts alone are £880 … after rent and all bills .. the amount left only just covers food and a bit of fuel if I’m lucky… no hair cuts no prescriptions no days out for the kids no pocket money no emergency fund… I’m drowning. 

Any help would be so helpful 

Thank you 

fatbelly

If it's ok with you, I'll ask for this to be moved to debt-free wannabe

For a starter we will need a full statement of affairs

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

elsien

You need to be in the debt free wannabee part of the forum, where more people will see this. I’ll ask to get it moved. 

The first step is stopped panicking. It’s only money and you can’t give people what you don’t have.
Are you getting help with your addictions as well as the mental health support, 

Next step - only pay your essential bills - rent, food, utilities, council tax. Don’t make any payments to any of the non Priority ones.

Then make  a start on a statement of affairs, and format it for here. People will be better able  to advise if they’ve got the full picture of your incomings and outgoings, et cetera. 

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

Go through your  bank statements, et cetera if you’re not sure on how much you’re spending on things.

And well done for coming on here and asking for help. There are people who have been where you are, and who can give better advice. 

Justme4

fatbelly said:

If it's ok with you, I'll ask for this to be moved to debt-free wannabe

For a starter we will need a full statement of affairs

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

Thank you that’s great x

Justme4

elsien said:

You need to be in the debt free wannabee part of the forum, where more people will see this. I’ll ask to get it moved. 

The first step is stopped panicking. It’s only money and you can’t give people what you don’t have.
Are you getting help with your addictions as well as the mental health support, 

Next step - only pay your essential bills - rent, food, utilities, council tax. Don’t make any payments to any of the non Priority ones.

Then make  a start on a statement of affairs, and format it for here. People will be better able  to advise if they’ve got the full picture of your incomings and outgoings, et cetera. 

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

Go through your  bank statements, et cetera if you’re not sure on how much you’re spending on things.

And well done for coming on here and asking for help. There are people who have been where you are, and who can give better advice. 

I darent look at statements the gambling transactions just sicken me. The problem I have is how long ago I got the loans and how soon my financial circumstances took a dive! The universe is testing me I’m sure lol!  But basically food and fuel I shop daily and get bits from them kids nan and family in cash to keep me going! The whole thing is a shambles x

sourcrates

Moved and closed as duplicate thread.