Child maintenance payments to child

elsanto

I have been making payments to my child's mother's bank account and now I want to pay my child directly. Does anybody know if it is possible? This could be done in a number of ways:
a) Pay into child's savings (Child Trust Fund) or current account.
b) Changing the Direct Debit from the mother's account to another thing that needs to be paid regularly.
c) Getting a list of things my child needs, I buy them and get them sent to her (or memberships, courses, etc)

The reasons:

1- My child is now 16.

2- The mother is totally irresponsible and greedy with money. The maintenance payments are wasted with her.
3- My child would know that her dad is taking care of her because the mother will not tell her about the child maintenance I pay and she has a parental alienation campaign with her. This is damaging.

4- My child is 2 to 3 years away from college and she is certainly going to need the money.

5- My child can start learning about taking care and being responsible with her money, which she will not learn from the mother.
I am giving the reasons, here, in case I have to give them to the CMS or tribunal.

Hermann

Is there a court order for the payments or is it an agreement between yourselves?

tacpot12

Everything you say is possible providing there is no court order. Your reasons are all valid. However, the mother can expect to receive child maintanence from you and the CMS exists to ensure that she can do so if she wishes.

If you pay the child, there is a risk that the mother will approach the CMS and then you will have to pay the mother and will receive no credit for what you have paid to your child.

The best option would be to try to agree with the mother that you will pay the child, and put the agreement into writing as to how much you will pay and how the payments will be made.  

marcia_

elsanto said:

I have been making payments to my child's mother's bank account and now I want to pay my child directly. Does anybody know if it is possible? This could be done in a number of ways:
a) Pay into child's savings (Child Trust Fund) or current account.
b) Changing the Direct Debit from the mother's account to another thing that needs to be paid regularly.
c) Getting a list of things my child needs, I buy them and get them sent to her (or memberships, courses, etc)

The reasons:

1- My child is now 16.

2- The mother is totally irresponsible and greedy with money. The maintenance payments are wasted with her.
3- My child would know that her dad is taking care of her because the mother will not tell her about the child maintenance I pay and she has a parental alienation campaign with her. This is damaging.

4- My child is 2 to 3 years away from college and she is certainly going to need the money.

5- My child can start learning about taking care and being responsible with her money, which she will not learn from the mother.
I am giving the reasons, here, in case I have to give them to the CMS or tribunal.

 Child maintenance is paid so the resident parent can pay to raise your child. Paying it into a child's account won't allow them to do that. 

HampshireH

Paying your child money is an allowance or pocket money 

Child maintenance is to contribute to the roof over their head, the bills and food as well as the things you mention such as courses/personal care and clothes.

kimwp

You can give your child money on top of child maintenance that you pay to her mother.

elsien

Sibling did that, but only when the child went to university as the agreement was to pay until they had  finished education. He would not have done it while the child was under 18.

There was a court order, however he was banking on the fact that she would not go back to court because the money was clearly been used to benefit the now adult, this was the child’s preference to pay for housing et cetera. and the person was rarely at his mother’s house anymore. 

Your situation is different because the mother is clearly paying to house, feed and clothe the child still, regardless of your opinion of her financial skills. And as long as your child is adequately housed closed and fed etc, it’s not your business how that money is spent.

And if you are concerned about parental alienation, mother complaining to daughter that you have stopped paying for her is not going to help.

Spendless

tacpot12 said:

Everything you say is possible providing there is no court order. Your reasons are all valid. However, the mother can expect to receive child maintanence from you and the CMS exists to ensure that she can do so if she wishes.

If you pay the child, there is a risk that the mother will approach the CMS and then you will have to pay the mother and will receive no credit for what you have paid to your child.

^^^ This. I know someone who went to directly paying his 2 daughters when they got to 16 and stopping maintenance to their Mum claiming same as your reason #1 for doing so.

Mum went to CSA (as it then was) who took the view that he hadnt paid (even with proof hed sent the anounts to his daughters bank accounts). He ended up in arrears and expected  to pay back.

Id be careful of doing it without checking everything first. 

elsanto

Hermann said:

Is there a court order for the payments or is it an agreement between yourselves?

No there is only the usual CMS 'order' to pay maintenance.

elsanto

tacpot12 said:

tacpot12 said:

Everything you say is possible providing there is no court order. Your reasons are all valid. However, the mother can expect to receive child maintanence from you and the CMS exists to ensure that she can do so if she wishes.

If you pay the child, there is a risk that the mother will approach the CMS and then you will have to pay the mother and will receive no credit for what you have paid to your child.

The best option would be to try to agree with the mother that you will pay the child, and put the agreement into writing as to how much you will pay and how the payments will be made.  

Trying to negotiate with the mother is like trying to negotiate with Putin. The only way I can think of approaching the mother is by giving her an ultimatum saying that I am now going to pay my child directly and that is it.

During previous court proceedings (not about Child Maintenance) I said that I wanted the details of my child's Child Trust Fund account so that I could make payments into it and the mother flatly refused.

elsanto

marcia_ said:

elsanto said:

I have been making payments to my child's mother's bank account and now I want to pay my child directly. Does anybody know if it is possible? This could be done in a number of ways:
a) Pay into child's savings (Child Trust Fund) or current account.
b) Changing the Direct Debit from the mother's account to another thing that needs to be paid regularly.
c) Getting a list of things my child needs, I buy them and get them sent to her (or memberships, courses, etc)

The reasons:

1- My child is now 16.

2- The mother is totally irresponsible and greedy with money. The maintenance payments are wasted with her.
3- My child would know that her dad is taking care of her because the mother will not tell her about the child maintenance I pay and she has a parental alienation campaign with her. This is damaging.

4- My child is 2 to 3 years away from college and she is certainly going to need the money.

5- My child can start learning about taking care and being responsible with her money, which she will not learn from the mother.
I am giving the reasons, here, in case I have to give them to the CMS or tribunal.

 Child maintenance is paid so the resident parent can pay to raise your child. Paying it into a child's account won't allow them to do that. 

I have already clearly said that my child is now 16 and, at that age, she is already more responsible than the mother. She can buy things that she needs with the money.
The CMS refuse to accept the information I gave them that the mother does not need my money. Between the money she got from me in Ancillary Relief and her new husband's money, she has about 4 times the money I have.