£31,000 Credit Card Debt and My Anxiety is Unbearable

husnu1

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Just add it as a comment. You will have to format it for MSE and copy and paste.

Try not to worry tonight, it will be solvable.

What do you mean when you say to format it for MSE? Do I need any tools to do that?

Martico

husnu1 said:

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Just add it as a comment. You will have to format it for MSE and copy and paste.

Try not to worry tonight, it will be solvable.

What do you mean when you say to format it for MSE? Do I need any tools to do that?

If you use the link from the First Steps thread, you'll see an option to Format for MSE on the SOA page. Copy and paste from there, good luck!

tigergambit

@husnu1

You have had a lot of good advice here - particularly to stop payments, change your bank account if necessary and follow the First Steps thread instructions.

As someone who hit the debt crisis at 59 with £50k+ debt, a £62k mortgage and reduced income due to a mental breakdown I can wholly relate to your circumstances and struggles with anxiety. The very first thing you should do is go to your doctor and seek help for the anxiety. The rest is just money - in fact it's just numbers someone keeps on a computer somewhere, little bits of electric charge.

Get the thought of repossession out of your head - never going to happen. Build an SOA but be honest with it and generous to yourself. My initial mistake was taking everything to heart and trying to cut expenditure to the bone which only led to more pressure and anxiety. Leave yourself room to live.

Accept that you will now have to live without credit - but at our age that is certainly not a bad thing. The hardest thing is that we are conditioned to feel bad/ashamed about "letting" things get out of control and that is a mindset you need to work on and overcome. 

Keep safe.

husnu1

Hi again, everyone. I just completed my SOA. It looks like I was wrong about the surplus. It was £296. Because of my anxiety, this has taken me hours to do. As I indicated in my post, I suffer from anxiety and am scared of answering phones from creditors, so I blocked their numbers. I am not sure if this was the right thing to do.

Here is my SOA:

Household Information

Number of adults in household........... 4

Number of children in household......... 

Number of cars owned....................     1

Monthly Income Details

Monthly income after tax................      2724

Partners monthly income after tax....... 746

Benefits................................                 0

Other income............................            0

Total monthly income....................       3470

Monthly Expense Details

Mortgage................................                   444

Secured/HP loan repayments..............     392

Rent....................................                         0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax.............................    221

Electricity.............................      131

Gas.....................................       131

Oil.....................................          0

Water rates.............................    58

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 52

TV Licence..............................   44

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 18

Internet Services....................... 40

Groceries etc. .........................  750

Clothing................................     50

Petrol/diesel...........................   120

Road tax................................    45

Car Insurance........................... 132

Car maintenance (including MOT).........91

Car parking.............................                0

Other travel............................                 0

Childcare/nursery.......................            0

Other child related expenses............     0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc)....   70

Pet insurance/vet bills.................           0

Buildings insurance.....................         125

Contents insurance......................        100

Life assurance .........................            0

Other insurance.........................           0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30

Haircuts................................               70

Entertainment...........................           40

Holiday.................................               0

Emergency fund..........................        20

Total monthly expenses..................    3174

[b]

Assets

Cash....................................            0

House value (Gross)..................... 500000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s)..................................          25000

Other assets............................       0

Total Assets............................      525000

[b]

Secured & HP Debts

Description....................         Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage......................          80000....(444)......0

Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 26000....(392)......0

Total secured & HP debts...... 106000....-.........-   

Unsecured Debts

Description....................   Debt......Monthly...APR

Aqua Credit Card...............4640......128.......0

Capital One....................   4681...... 183.......0

Virgin Money...................  12649..... 355.......0

MBNA...........................    10609..... 450.......0

Total unsecured debts.......32579.....1116......- 

Monthly Budget Summary

Total monthly income....................                3,470

Expenses (including HP & secured debts).  3,174

Available for debt repayments...........           296

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments.......   1,116

Amount short for making debt repayments. -820

Personal Balance Sheet Summary

Total assets (things you own)........... 525,000

Total HP & Secured debt................. -106,000

Total Unsecured debt....................   -32,579

Net Assets..............................           386,421

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

kimwp

I'm not at all anxious about money and it would take me 1-2 days to do my SOA from scratch - it's at least half an hour to extract all the outgoings for each month. There seem to be two adults children, is that right?

Your TV licence is £44, is that correct? 

Your building and contents insurance seem very high, do you shop around for this?

husnu1

tigergambit said:

@husnu1

You have had a lot of good advice here - particularly to stop payments, change your bank account if necessary and follow the First Steps thread instructions.

As someone who hit the debt crisis at 59 with £50k+ debt, a £62k mortgage and reduced income due to a mental breakdown I can wholly relate to your circumstances and struggles with anxiety. The very first thing you should do is go to your doctor and seek help for the anxiety. The rest is just money - in fact it's just numbers someone keeps on a computer somewhere, little bits of electric charge.

Get the thought of repossession out of your head - never going to happen. Build an SOA but be honest with it and generous to yourself. My initial mistake was taking everything to heart and trying to cut expenditure to the bone which only led to more pressure and anxiety. Leave yourself room to live.

Accept that you will now have to live without credit - but at our age that is certainly not a bad thing. The hardest thing is that we are conditioned to feel bad/ashamed about "letting" things get out of control and that is a mindset you need to work on and overcome. 

Keep safe.

Thanks for all the kind words. It sounds like our situations are very similar. I’ve been on medication for anxiety for the last 15 years, so I really understand how overwhelming it can all feel.

It’s a relief to hear that they can’t repossess my property. I’ve been so worried about that. As for my credit rating, I’ve kind of stopped stressing about it too. I guess I’ve just had to accept where things are for now.

Did you end up going into a DMP? And if so, how did you cope with all the stress that comes with it? I haven’t had a full mental breakdown yet. That would kill me because I need to carry on with my jobs in order to get out of this. I think my ADHD is helping me hold it together so far.

FlorayG

Car insurance £132, buildings insurance £125. contents insurance £100, haircuts £70...every  month? 

Penguin_

Had a quick look but one area you could save hundreds a month on is Groceries, £750 a month is a lot.

husnu1

Penguin_ said:

Had a quick look but one area you could save hundreds a month on is Groceries, £750 a month is a lot.

But there are four adults living in the household. To make it clear, my kids (23 and 21) are studying, so they can't be much help at the moment, but I will try my best to cut it down further. All I need for now is to know what my next step should be, as I am under a lot of stress.

husnu1

FlorayG said:

Car insurance £132, buildings insurance £125. contents insurance £100, haircuts £70...every  month? 

I will try to get new quotes for the building's insurance and maybe cancel the contents. The haircuts are for four adults, three of them female. I have done this in a bit of a rush and a state of panic, but I will go through it again.