Can anyone advise please

ClaireLR

Saw this on the DFW board and thought someone might be able to offer the OP some advice

I've posted a link to this thread in the original post on the DFW board



[IMG]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/HOME/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot.jpg[/IMG] I hope I've done this right .....
Monthly income
Wages: £1,156.00
Child benefit: £56.00
Child tax credits: £120.00

Total IN: £ 1,332.00

Monthly outgoings
Fixed rate mortgage: £352.50 (this is half the full amount, husband pays other half)
Barclays personal loan: £221.00
Welcome Finance secured loan: £209.00
Credit cards: £50.00 (minimum repayments - £25 x 2)
Council tax: £59.00
Water rates: £35.00 (my quarterly bill is about £95)
Gas / electric: Not sure – need to refer to previous bill
TV licence: £12.00
Mobile phone: £20 PAYG (£10 me, £10 son)
Home phone/TV/internet package: £60 (‘3 for £30’, plus 800 minutes)
Pet insurance: £7.00
Pet food: £20.00
Groceries: £200.00 approx
Bus (son - school): £66.00
Film rental: £3.50
Magazines/newspapers: £10.00
Cost of birthdays: £10.00
Total OUT: £ 1,452.17

(I have no idea about APRs or other info like that. I'm in a mess and my paperwork is all over the place.)


My road to debt …
I met my (soon to be ex) husband 3 years ago. I was debt free.
He had a loan with his ex-girlfriend. He took out a £3k loan to pay her off when he met me so that he could cut that connection with her. He proposed to me quickly and we got swept away with planning a wedding and honeymoon. All the magazines suckered me in and we overspent. Before we knew it, we had incurred a £1k overdraft and were living off this month to month.
Despite this, we bought a house through Northern Rock. We were given a 110% mortgage (£95,000 mortgage, £20,000 un-secured loan). Total monthly repayment Fixed at £705.52 for 5 years. This was our first mistake. Now turns out that although our property was valued at £129k in the summer, and if we had sold then our main debts would be clear, our property is now only worth £110k and doesn’t even scratch the surface of our debt. Read on to see why …

Crisis point
Without my knowledge, husband took out a £8,000 loan to pay for the wedding costs.
Furthermore, he took out an extra £5,000 to pay for our honeymoon.
Back from honeymoon, we very quickly realised that we had made a mistake getting married and that we didn’t love each other. Very stupid but true. Screaming arguments were daily, the tension was unbelievable, but we tried to keep going. I became extremely depressed, put on 35lbs in a couple of months and started spending on credit cards. Before I knew it, I had racked up a further £4k of debt.
Husband then took out a further £3k loan (can’t even remember what for!!) taking his personal loan up to £16k.
He then left me in October, weeks before a holiday we had booked (using credit cards of course) to the Caribbean. I went with my son as planned.
I got back from holiday, depressed as hell, and took out a SECURED loan for £10k. Had every intention of paying off the credit cards and using the balance for an operation I need. But instead I used £2k to pay off one credit card, I gave £5k to someone as a loan (and I know I’m NEVER seeing that again – long story, told you I was stupid), and I have wasted the rest on shopping for Christmas, incurring extortionate phone bills (up to £400 per month) which I then paid, and god only knows what else!! The money is gone and I only took the loan out last month. The fact that it is secured on my house makes me feel sick to the pit of my stomach. Does this mean I can’t sell the property now when/if the market recovers? I don’t know what I’ve gone and done, I just know it’s bad. My husband signed the papers with me (he is not liable for the loan but he had to agree to me securing it on the property – I’m confused about how that works but there you go).

Current situation
I have no idea what I’m going to do. I feel like I’m dead on the inside. I feel insane. I feel scared. I feel sick. I feel like running away. I feel like killing myself. I look at my son and I think “I’ve totally screwed us both”. I considered bankruptcy but then got scared because someone told me that I could go to jail for taking out the secured loan so recently and then ‘wasting it’. Yes, I did do that. I’m not thinking straight. I know that’s no excuse and you can tear me to shreds now. I deserve it. But honestly, I’m not thinking straight at all. I have a history of depression and shopping has always been the way I deal with it. But in the past, I’ve had the funds so it’s not been a problem.
The last 3 years of my life have been wasted, my husband is gone, I’m in a terrifying amount of debt and I can’t stop spending like a lunatic. I’m losing weight like there’s no tomorrow and I can’t sleep anymore. I’m finished. I’m a total wreck.
I really don’t know what to do.
Help … please?
S x

welshpaula

clair yes it all seems too much now and i undersatnd how you feel been there myself but it CAN be sorted ! someone with expert tips will be along soon ! i went bankrupt 2 years ago not proud of myself ,but changed my life ! good luck lovely and remember you have a son in my darkest days my girls were the only thing to keep me going xxx

tigerfeet2006

Your first port of call should be to contact one of the Debt Charities; see links below. Their services are free; they have no vested interest to serve; their advisors are professionally trained and the advice they give will be objective and in your best interests only. CCCS operate a system of telephone appointments that are designed to be flexible and don’t require you to attend an office based interview. At the CAB you will need to make an appointment with a specialist Financial Advisor; other advisors may not have the specialist knowledge you’ll need. They will not judge you al all but help you sort yourself out.

http://www.cccs.co.uk/

http://www.nationaldebtline.co.uk/

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index.htm

These guys will talk through all your options and help if a DMP, IVA or bankruptcy are suited to you. If your advised a DMP is an option then the DFW board can give you all the help and support you need.If you’re advised that bankruptcy is the most suitable solution to your financial problems then we can offer the best support and anecdotal advice that you’ll find anywhere on the Web.

For more specific advice and support, in an environment that is managed by people with first hand experience of bankruptcy, and moderated to ensure that no deliberately inflammatory or abusive posts are made then please visit:

http://bankruptcysupportersclub.co.uk/default.aspx

Just remember, as desperate as you may feel at the moment, we have all experienced what you are going through at the moment and with the right support and advice things will improve. It’s not an easy route to take but it is a route that will put you back in control of your life rather than just reacting to events.

Also keep posting on the boards as you will find it a fantastic help.