Frosty the Snowman - it's the 2025 Christmas thread!

PennysIntoPounds

£75 seems a lot to spend if DD doesn't care if its genuine @Coxy11 imo. Does she particularly want it to say Coach on it but doesn't care about authenticity, or does she like the style and if so is there a good dupe elsewhere for less (Zara, Shein, M&S etc)

@Spendless if it gets overwhelming trying to find extra gifts, how about a little hamper package each? Virginia Hayward does a range of prices and a variety of options, and is online so no extra traipsing about!

I ordered a few gifts yesterday using an amazon voucher from doing surveys so pleased with the mse-ness!

Eta correct spelling of Hayward

Spendless

Never heard of Virginia Hayward - will take a look - thanks.

Yesterday on my way to work , I saw a stand in the shopping centre selling jewellery. £1 per item 6 for £5. I didnt have time to browse for 6 items so just bought 1 piece for DD's stocking. Happy that Im now starting to fill that up. 

mandco

@spendless sounds like the situation with nan is still causing a lot of stress for your parents - taking over the planning so they get Christmas is obviously more work for you but sounds like what they need right now - have they agreed to come to you? I know you said they weren’t keen when you offered previously 
present wise mine are similar to Coxy ds is into gaming so far he’s got bits for his pc, gamersupps(drink powder) then the usual toiletries & some new bedding. he’s so hard to buy for I really struggle with ideas for tangible gifts - he’s totally happy with digital currency for his games  but I prefer things I can wrap & put under the tree. 
dd anything beauty based is always a hit especially the higher end brands she likes but rarely buys herself. Steve Madden bags - are always on the list of suggestions though not sure how many bags a person actually needs   this year she’s getting a Pandora bracelet so got her a charm for that. Jellycats - talking of which thanks for HB keyring heads-up I’ll have to see if my branch has any as they’d a be perfect stocking filler. She also has New pjs & fluffy socks -again not sure how many sets you actually need but they are always on her list.

One idea that seems a quite popular suggestion for young adults is a gift card with a mini related gift - costa/starbucks voucher plus a refill mug for example 

@coxy.  Is it specifically a coach branded bag (regardless if genuine or not) dd wants?  Would you be happy to pay the vint@d price if it wasn’t genuine? How does the price compare to buying direct? Never used it but I know the vinted verification scheme gets a fair amount of negative reviews for things being wrongly assessed so not sure I’d have much faith in the outcome though if you’re not actually bothered about that and its more for quality control might be worth it? My biggest concern would the be quality should it not be genuine as you won’t know till it arrives and returns on there are a lot of hassle and that’s if the seller even accepts them. 

lol at dds request for a DOG I don’t think they ever outgrow that one but until they have there own place responsibly inevitably ends us on us so I totally get why it’s not an option - would she enjoy puppy yoga? I know my dd would love it but unfortunately nowhere local does it 

dropped Of my Xmas toy donations at the weekend so that’s freed up some storage space. 

the tree is up though still need to fluff out the branches properly as it got a bit squished during storage this year & can’t find the lights which I could have sworn I put in the same box so not decorated yet but its up 
asda have terrys chocolate oranges for £1.42 at the moment not sure if thats much of a saving but it does include the mint & caramel versions which weren’t on the last offer I saw. They also has cadburys advent calendars for £1.25 though only the white chocolate ones left in my branch yesterday.

Spendless

Parents say they will come to use for Christmas Day Dinner unless Nan has been sent home in which case they feel they need to go to her house instead. I think either way I make enough food and if need be they take it round to Nan's. Part of me thinks surely my 100yo Nan is not going to be sent home? Though that is what was on the brink of happening before there was a last minute intervention. However Nan is now incontinent, I don't know if that changes things in terms of care? I'm sure she won't be in the assessment centre by then wherever she goes. I'm sure of this because my other Nan was sent from hospital (she'd been admitted under similar circumstances) to the same assessment centre on the afternoon of Xmas Eve (upsetting my Mum who hadn't been told by the ward this was going to happen), So I know that the assessment centre will want Nan's bed empty in anticipation of receiving last minute patients. 

Went out with a friend yesterday, after cancelling twice last week due to weather. She had a look of bemusement when I told her of Dad's plans to "get a take away - probably a Chinese" on Christmas day as neither of us could think of a single one that opens. More of a chance with an Indian restaurant though then parents would struggle with knowing what all the dishes on the menu were! I can see how this would play out, after a fruitless search, and an argument  they'd settle for a sandwich or something from the freezer , then Mum would go to bed upset over it all. Far easier for me to throw extra pigs in blankets and potatoes in! I swear it's currently easier to reason with the dog - sigh!

On my trip into the city centre yesterday, I picked up some toiletry and stationery bits for both kids for stockings/hampers. I also went to send a dress DD left behind and now wants for a party out to here. £25 I was told to post abroad!!! I doubt the dress cost much more, so I declined. Then I checked with DD date of party and it's after Mr S goes out there anyway so he is taking it. £25 saved!

mandco

@spendless I’d agree it’s unlikely nan will still be in the assessment centre by Xmas but it does sound like she needs a significant amount of help and going home wouldn’t  be in her best interest unless they are going to put carers in place for her - not sure if you get a say but it does need to be made clear to the medical team that your parents are not able to give her the level of care she requires especially with your dads current health issues - it sounds unlikely that your parents are actually conveying this to the team I guessing like many of their generation they’d just try and get on with it rather than admit they need help. 

Us shipping costs are ridiculously expensive worked out well that dh can drop it to her instead but dd could probably of brought another dress cheaper if not.

1/2 way through November already   still aiming to be mostly finished present wise by the end of the month and I think most people are sorted other than dds bf(still waiting on suggestions) and my boys who I’m really struggling with ideas for.  Also need stocking fillers for the boys that are fun/practical and not tat for the sake of it that will get dumped in a drawer and never used -at this rate I can see ds1 getting lots of snacks to pad his out  girls are sooo much easier.

PennysIntoPounds

Hooray for £25 saved @Spendless
Agree about having a stern word with the Dr in charge and making sure it's put on her notes that adequate family support is not able to be provided, whatever elderly parents say!

What are the boys into @mandco? 
Or what would you like them to be into 😁

PennysIntoPounds

Mr PIP has been working from home unexpectedly so I haven't been able to check the parcels that have arrived or go and get the coffee I'm putting in his stocking!
We have however been bravely quality checking the aldi chocolate stout, can confirm is still delicious.
Obviously this may change so I will keep up the stringent approval process to ensure I haven't recommended a duff product to you all 🍻

Spendless

Yes I do believe parents or more specifically Dad should have approached things differently with Nan at an earlier stage. Nan initially went into hospital in winter 2023, when she was discharged with a care package, carers only called for 1.5 days (3 visits) before stopping coming because 'Nan could manage and didn't need them'. Now Nan had made a big show of proving she could cope by being up, washed, dressed and with breakfast made and eaten before they arrived and the place being spotless because she'd asked her neighbour who cleans for her to do a full clean but Nan was more capable then. Then we come to the winter 24/25  Nan is hospitalised for the 2nd time and again released with a care package who come for around 7-10 days.

 Until recently I believed the carers stopped coming in the same manner as previously, I have found out since the carers stopped coming because Nan was unpleasant to them including locking them out of the house. They refused to return and a report said they wouldn't be doing but if alternative care was needed then they needed to contact X. This wasn't done, between Dad, his relative and neighbour cleaner, they had a local service 'meals on wheels' come 3x a week and between them did the other 4 lunch times, cleaner changed her hours to accommodate this,relative did laundry,  parents did her shopping though so did the  2 others cos Nan would ask randomly for stuff and I pointed out there needed to be more co-ordination and communication between the 3 of them. One of my gifts to Nan for her 100th bday was a magnetic shopping list with her fav animal on it, to encourage a more organised approach to shopping.

 Parents have been at Nan's beck and call all year over it and the hol they were going on for Mum's 80th never happened because Nan got discharged same day. She'd changed wards so though 1st ward on hearing parents would be away said they'd take that into account with Nan's release plans, 2nd ward said they'd do no such thing and Nan would be discharged regardless  (I've since told parents they should have called their bluff here cos the liklihood is they wouldn't - but hindsight is a wonderful thing!)parents lost the money for their hol cos insurance didn't cover this. It's put a strain on my parents, health, relationship, social life. We've managed to take Mum away overnight twice to see London theatre. Dad has had to stay home. Parents, me and Mr S have gone out once together all year to see a theatre show in a neighbouring city. Only because we set off early to eat locally as we discovered a major sporting event was taking place near the theatre so all restaurants were fully booked did we get to see this show because on their return parents discovered Nan had rang their landline twice asking where Dad was. This sort of frequent call has had Dad dropping all tools to race round and see if everything is wrong - frequently it hasn't been. This is what has stressed Mum out all year. This is the point I was making at the hospital when I spoke up about it all. I was the 3rd voice to do so, relative initially raised concerns, parents were then called into a meeting and assurred this would be looked at but it again was ward 1 saying this and Nan later got transferred to ward 2. Seeing a repeat of what happened beg of year coming this is when I spoke up and asked a staff member (maybe male Nurse but I'm not good at knowing which uniform means what) and I say a condensed version of what I've just put here and add in that they are elderly themselves at 76 and 80 and shouldn't be expected to be Nan's default carers.The response I got and I quote was 'Have you spoken to your parents about this'. I said 'Yes and they agree with me but Dad says it's his Mum and what is he suppossed to do'. Then I got" your Nan isn't my patient you need to speak to hers". Then why not tell me which Nurse I need to speak to first instead of questioning if I've spoken to my parents when I'd already told you their ages??! To me it stinks of they'd be quite happy for things to continue despite parents being elderly themselves. Thank goodness for the last minute repreive from a member of staff. This is why parents aren't sure if Nan may go home and why their Christmas plans are up in the air. 

Anyway with that off my chest I am absolutely itching to get some Christmas stuff done and currently can't. Carpet fitters are arriving today thankfully but then I'm working all day tomorrow and Friday we're heading to London o/night to finish off sorting out DD's accommodation in anticipation of her coming back. Not sure when we can start putting our bedroom back together. My gift cupboard contents ended up all over due to finding available space so don't think I can even wrap sufficiently and put back once carpet is in place. I might give it a go though, depends how I feel later.  I saw a mention on a Xmas SM page about a trend where if you're stuck and wanting to give a gift card you put a related small item with it too. eg a lip gloss with a Boots/beauty voucher or a reusable mug with a coffee shop one. Thought that was a good idea to bulk out gifts and make them look a little 'more'  when unwrapping. Haven't a clue how to work this round the Sunday lunch vouchers I'm  thinking of getting Dad though -lol. Mr S said he also wants to look for a flat cap when we go away next month. I have said with the exception of gifts where we have to 'wait and see'' (Dad, Nan) I want all things nailed and finished BF weekend, especially since I have a rare run of being off.

fionaandphil

@Spendless we have had similar here recently.  I would ask if there are hospital social workers who can assist and if not, sign up with your local council asking for a social worker to be appointed for her.  We weren't hopeful but even with duty social worker assigned they got a lot of things done and explained the system really well to us.  FIL has been in care about 4 - 5 weeks now and they called today to check how things were going.  They are following up on couple of things to try and make sure that all the financial and legal bits are in place, and are going to chase up some medical aspects too. We have been pleasantly surprised how good and how useful (and patient) they have been. The whole care system is a nightmare to try and work out without their guidance, we read all the info and still hadn't fully understood it all or had got the wrong end of the stick. Good luck with it all

Spendless

Hi, yes Nan has a social worker now. I think  that happened not long after Nan arrived at the assessment centre. No futher updates on how she's doing yet.

We're away tomorrow morning to DD's London digs to finalise sorting her room out there in anticipation of her coming home. I wrapped a small Chrsitmas  present for her the other day, popped in a fabric gift bag, put in an open box that was on a narrow table  in our conservatory . Not long afterwards I hear a scampering of feet. Sure enough present obsessed dog had somehow manoevured himself so he could  nick it and knowing full well he was in the wrong had hidden behind the settee to open it! By the time I'd got him out, he'd ripped the paper off and bite marks were on the cardboard packaging. Thankfully the contents were intact! Went to parents and Mum got out all the bows and embeliishments and we 'hid' the damaged box with decoration. Don't think I'll wrap with dog around again! 

Bedding seems a popular present this year. Need to keep that as a possible for adult offspring. Our bedroom has recently been redecorated and Mum has suggested mine and DH's gift from my parents is something for there.