Frosty the Snowman - it's the 2025 Christmas thread!

Coxy11

Good to have a break @princesskitty29 x

Well…drum roll please…. I messaged DH’s siblings and their partners today to say shall we stop gifts for all over 18’s from now on. No response from DH’s brother, his wife or BIL but SIL said she’d feel guilty. I told her not to!

Niece was 21 last week and DH dropped a card with £50 round a few days before. I texted her Happy Birthday and got ‘Thanks!’ in reply with no mention of the cash, but DH bumped into her today and she thanked him. DD got not even a card from BIL - he was here camping two days after her birthday and didn’t even pop his head in the house to say Happy Birthday. All things considered (and I’m including the Escape Room for one here) I’m done. 

DH a bit uncomfortable but it’s not him that gathers ideas/orders/shops/wraps the gifts. 

In recent years I’ve taken to buying generic gifts for older three nieces/nephews as tbh we don’t see them often and for me it’s easier to stick to budget that way. 

Anyway that’s 8 people crossed off our list. Glad I’ve finally done it. 

Spendless

Oh wow Coxy - glad you've done it. It has been several years in the pipeline from your pov. Is that it from now on, so won't be buying at Christmas or from beg of 2026? A reduced list is so much easier to do.

 All our upstairs rooms are currently  upside down due to having our bedroom replastered and redecorated, so nowhere to store things even if I bought them. 

PennysIntoPounds

Proud of you @Coxy11, make sure you stand firm for the first year or two and everyone else will soon fall in line! I bet you feel relieved 🥂 Not that it's a competition but you doling out £50 and there not being a card or even a hello in return very much shows you're doing the right thing for your finances and mental health 

Spendless

I agree with the standing firm. Around 20 years ago SIL announced at the beg of a year  that they weren't buying Christmas presents anymore for anyone other than children  and Mums' (that bit made no sense because both her and her then husband also had Dads who were married to their Mums).

Because birthdays hadn't been mentioned we still bought for them and their bdays fell earlier in the year than mine and Mr S who have Autumn bdays. When it came to Xmas we did as mentioned and didn't buy for SIL and BIL, only to our surprise to receive gifts, when we said 'we weren't expecting anything because of what you said at the beg of the year so haven't bought for you'. We get the reply 'yes but you haven't stuck to that'

Well in my eyes we had because only Christmas had been mentioned not birthdays (with the benefit of hindsight I should have asked for clarification - and when me and my sis had this convo a few years later I made sure we did). The following year SIL became a single parent again and DH wanted to buy his sis something as 'otherwise she'd only receive a gift from their parents' so it resumed and when DH tried to stop it a few years later he got 'don't you like receiving a present from me?' It took a few years later before we were able to drop off buying and only a couple of years ago that we dropped off buying for adult in a profession job neice.

Because there's no under 18s in my family, my list is now people who I'd never drop off (gran, parents, husband, own kids). 8 total including myself. 

Coxy11

This is my snowflake:

Still nothing from DH’s brother, his wife or BIL. we all usually receive a bottle of alcohol from DH’s brother which is lovely but takes no effort at all. Probably picks it up at Tesco with his turkey. Like I said - when gifts are just generic, it’s time to stop. 

Does anyone do Halloween? We don’t have any little children here in our new location (village/lane) but I’ll decorate the house regardless as I’ve collected some cute stuff over the years (including from Salem itself). 

mandco

She seems to be doing ok all thing considered - not out of the woods yet and still quite poorly she’s very wobbly on her feet still but she is on some heavy duty meds - she has a post op tomorrow so hopefully have a better idea then.

@Spendless I used to make my elderly aunt a hamper of individual sized treats - a mini Xmas cake, Xmas pudding with those little individual pots of custard single serve wrapped biscuits, individually bags snacks, single/mini wrapped chocolates ect they do tend to be a bit more expensive than the bigger versions so she wouldn’t buy herself so it felt more like treat and she could finish every item in one setting as she got very forgetful and would leave food open for weeks on end.

@coxy11 go you you’ve made the first step now just Need to stick with it regardless of what the others chose do - yes it will feel a bit odd not to buy at first and a little bit of guilt/doubt is totally normal but it’s been years Where the effort on your behalf has not been reciprocated so be proud of yourself for finally calling it - your finances & mh will definitely thank you for it going forward.
look forward to seeing your snowflake if you can post a pic 

@princesskitty29 life has a habit of running away with your time - glad you got a bit of me time with your parents hopefully you managed a bit if a recharge before rejoining the rollercoaster of your current day to day - those periods can be incredibly tough & mentally draining but it will ease up just takes time - I know that’s not much consolation in those moments but there really is a light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long/dark it currently seems.

Your are doing absolutely amazing with Xmas prep on a good year let alone considering what you have going on- go you at achieving wrapping as you go and actually having time to enjoy it again. really do need to follow suit and stop procrastinating /making excuses - I do need to find a space for wrapped presents vs the current jenga’d into various locations but that’s something I could do if I actually made time time to prioritise doing it. 

Butlin’s is our “safe space” holiday Taz knows mostly what to expect as it’s familiar and he is so much more settled with far fewer meltdowns which means it’s a less stressful for everyone. The fact everything is in one place means you can easily take breaks or nip to back to your accommodation if he’s overwhelmed and needs space while the others can stay and do something. He can find the shows a bit much tbh I find the venues a bit loud too but now I let him take his iPad with noise cancelling headphones to watch while we’re there -he generally covers himself with a fleece to block out the rest but it works for him and means we can enjoy the show & he isn’t overwhelmed to the point of a meltdown so I’ll take it -I use to worry about what other people thought and I’ll be honest it took a while to feel comfortable with it but I realised his happiness and my mh are more important than what some random Stranger thinks. 

I will say expect ds to be a bit more difficult in the run to your break if he’s not great but if you expect it its easier to deal with - Taz is always a bit anxious in the run up which- his sleep is a bit more unsettled and he gets extra cranky/emotional prone to more outbursts - the emotional build up can be a lot for them to deal with but once we’re there he has a great time- I’m used to his specific pre trip wobbles now so can pre empt them and plan things accordingly- not to say he won’t randomly throw a spanner in the works at times but its a lot easier to manage now. And that’s a big thing - finding what works for you as a Family. You are an amazing mum and doing an incredible job under challenging conditions.

Finally made it to b&m did manage to pick up the character powerbanks & matching cables I wanted for the boys but a lot of other bits I’d wanted were either oos or not available.
ordered a couple more art/craft sets for the girls off vint@d -as sdd has borrowed my original idea think I’m going to go with mostly arts/crafts rather than toys as I know they really enjoy it and it’ll keep them busy - translate as out of sdds hair over Xmas without being more bulky stuff to find homes for. No credit left now so trying not to buy anything else till I’ve sold some more bits( have stuff to list but haven’t got round to it) but do have a bunch of potential Xmas gift items favourited. I think evri have lost one of my parcels as it shows as out for delivery on the 9th and I keep getting the sorry there’s a delay message. Another reason I want to try and be done early as the closer you get to Xmas the longer delivery seems to take and the number of lost/missing/incorrectly delivered parcels there seems to be. Just the other day someone tried knicking a parcel off the doorstep - we were at the vets and the Amazon delivery guy left all of dds parcel (12 boxes she shopped the prime deals) right in front of the door oh pulled up to see someone walking away from the door with parcel in hand he was like oh is there no one in? it’s ok I can take that - they dropped it and ran off. 

Had a look at the Aldi xmas food brochure https://christmas-brochure.aldi.co.uk/christmas-2025/page/2-3 few bits I’m definitely interested in so have put dates in my calendar- might see if I can get the make your own gingerbread train this year? 

mandco

@coxy11 our posts crossed - love the snowflake they’ll look great hanging up are you going to do a mix of sizes?

the last few years I’ve put up less Halloween decorations outside as our street is very multicultural now and most of them don’t decorate/celebrate the holidays I think there only 2 houses that really bother at Halloween now - there used to be loads and it it got quite competitive with some amazing displays but times change - I do decorative indoors though. Did pick up a couple of pumpkins at aldi for carving -  don’t think we’ll have time to fit in pumpkin picking this year and last year the pyo offerings were pretty dire/expensive anyway.

Coxy11

Yes will do a mixture of sizes I think and suspend them at different heights for 'effect' !! Best bit is I can recycle them after Christmas.

Someone on the OS Daily has just posted that Harts of Stur have a clearance section. Lots of nice bits and not just kitchen/home stuff Warehouse Clearance Sale - Special Offers - Offers | Harts of Stur

Also (looking at you @Spendless) I'm thinking of getting DD one of these:
Anti Spiking Cover & Stashy Scrunchie – Wavy Circle
as yet again she was out at the weekend and was in a vulnerable position. She's okay but did get shoved over and hit her head. Don't really want to put too much on here but suffice to say I'm deeply unimpressed with the doormen of the establishment.

You make a good point about delivery times and things going missing @mandco. I'm going to be focussing on my three plus DIL now that my list has been trimmed down. I'm glad you've been able to get some crafting bits - that's sounds like a great idea. 

Spendless

Love the snowflake. I really wish I had arts and crafts skills. DH wishes he had practical ones. B Gas emergency cover (thank goodness we have it) had to be called out on Sunday following a bent pipe and water gushing out as a radiator was removed from the wall in order for our bedroom being replastered and decorated. Taking advantage of DD being overseas to get our room sorted. 

Thats a good idea for DD for her stocking. Likely it's only stocking stuff I will be sending over because she doesn't want to return home till Jan (thankfully her Visa allows for a small overrun after her classes finish). She too was spiked earlier this year having been bought a drink by another woman (so her guard was down!). Thankfully the friends she was with but had been seperated from saw and protected her but the doormen weren't brill in her case either. 

After having a think about it , I think I will go for a hamper of 'nibbly bits' for Nan. No one else will do this as the gifts she receives from her sis/neices/nephews (she's originally one of 11 surviving kids) will be something they buy ready done and wrap. My Dad does Nan's grocery shopping on Tuesdays so on Mondays Nan clears out everything in the fridge in anticipation, and I mean everything, doesn't matter if it's not  opened, or still in date she throws it out. Drives my parents nuts especailly since her purse with money in went missing a few weeks ago and Mum is convinced Nan put the purse with the food and threw it all away together and of course it had been bin day by the time they found out about it. So a hamper full of ambient goods would help with knowing she has something to eat even if it's mainly chocolate and biscuits. I  started loking thru M&S hampers to give me other ideas what to put in (assumming I can find small/individual packs)  anyone know what savoury shortbread is?

I got a reminder to pick up my Tripp luggage, so did so. It's lovely. Grape is really 'blueberry' coloured rather than purple which doesn't matter to me. The £7.50 cabin bags are lovely. Compact but roomy inside. Ideal for me who has to take medication in hand luggage. If buying though be aware of p&Pp and if you're not going to meet free del buy a few things to spread the cost. Not worth buying  just a 7.50 bag if you're  then going to pay £4 del. 

Reminder if you do buy personalised cards in the shops to get early on. I know cards are my nemesis but I didn't look that late last year and the ones in the card factory had sold out of basic cards like 'to mum and dad'  but had plenty left of ones like 'to my neighbour's dog' 

Re Halloween - until both kids left for Uni I  did it every year. Then had a few years when I didn't. Still got the odd knock despite no decs (I only ever allowed my 2 to knock at houses with decs) but didn't answer cos hadn't bought any treats in.  Then a couple of years ago  I found some nearly new/unused/unwanted cosmetic bags (ones that you get as xmas gifts with a few bits in like lip balm etc)  and had an idea. I kept these with the chocs/sweets and if older ones called gave them the make up bags with a few sweets in. They always loved it. I know some people moan about older ones calling and wanting money - I've never had that happen, they are always dressed up and are more in the 13/14 range than 18/19. I have some more bags that have built up, some from the plane when we've flown PE so will do that again. I make sure there's decs up - at the least I'd have a pumpkin so they know callers are welcome. I did see someone put an interactive map up online on a community page to let others know they're participating. 

Coxy11

The snowflakes are very easy - just need A4 paper x 6, scissors, tape and a stapler. 

Heads up that Asda have tubs for £4.42 - Quality Street/Celebrations 500g

Heroes/Roses for £4.92 550g

In case anyone wants some for Halloween visitors or to stash for Christmas.