So Ashamed but hoping sharing will help motivate me.

detditcha

I am terrified to even write this but hoping it will prove a turning point. On New Years day I finally sat down and looked at all my debt and was horrified to find I owed £29,995 in Credit Card debt. It has accumulated over many years except for the last £10k which I accrued within the last year from mad depressive spending on nonsense. I now live with my widowed Mum who is lovely and so supportive ( she owns house outright|), I work for a charity, my minimum payments are covered but take up half my wage, I have two dogs and an elderly cat and the rest goes on their insurance and food and food for me and mum, I feel terrified I will not have enough money to care for them if they get sick. The reality plunged me into a nervous horror and I am anxious everyday since, I could not sleep for a week and lost half a stone, I am getting help from mental health services and have managed to return to work. Step change had advised I have enough money to just keep on paying it down and I think I have enough to try and put £200 per month on the snow ball method. I just don't know how to live with the fear and uncertainty I am feeling for the years it will take me to pay off.
I know it is my fault I really do but any advice or positive experiences what worked would be really gratefully received. Ps |Sorry if I have got this wrong I am not sure how it all works) 

Markmywords

So sorry to hear this. You did the right thing and contacting stepchange is a good thing. I understand they are very helpful and it is encouraging what they have said to you. It is very daunting and perhaps you could also look at your budget and see if there is any spending you can cut down or eliminate completely. This will help towards you saving a bit more. Is there an option for you to take on a part time job to bring in some more income? 

Try and look after yourself and your lovely mum. You will get there slowly but surely. Good luck 

detditcha

Thank you so much for your lovely words. I have crohn's disease and this can flare if I do too much but I am certainly going to try and look into it when I feel less manic, maybe something casual at weekends or evenings.

DrunklMunkee

Hello @detditcha and welcome to Diary Land.

I read your post and wanted to jump in and say well done for taking your first step towards your journey to becoming debt-free.

First things first, I just wanted to assure you that all these problems are surmountable and there is no need to panic. The anxiety you are feeling is from reaching your (what the diary folk know as..) LBM. That is your Light Bulb Moment.

The moment in most cartoons when you see a light bulb appear over your head as you realise what is going on.

Now this LBM is both a good & bad feeling. It's a good/great feeling because you have taken the first steps to putting it right and through all the great advice & support you get here, you know you won't be doing it alone. We'll cheer your successes; we'll boo the evil henchmen trying to relieve you of your money; we'll provide virtual hugs for when things go well and when they go not-so well. Heck we even provide virtual biccys & a cuppa

The problem is that the bad feeling also arrives when you get your LBM - it can feel overwhelming at first as your first reaction is to get it all fixed instantly and you have a million and one things whirring through your mind at the same time. Don't worry, ..... {breathe} Don't panic, ..... {breathe again} it can all be fixed - but you are going to need to break it down into smaller, more achievable goals. That way - you learn to celebrate the small wins and great progression you will make - and this is also where the hearty back-slaps and virtual hugs will be sent your way from all our diarists.

So the first step you can take is to maybe complete and post a Statement of Affairs (SOA) on here. You can find a link to one somewhere on this page, (some of the more tech-savvy people may be along shortly and provide a shortcut).

Don't feel you have to complete a SOA, some users prefer not to and there is no pressure to. It just means that fellow diarists can provide suggestions and experiences that relate more to your situation. Some of the suggestions will make you think ".... Well!! why didn't I do that sooner" and others will make you think " ....there's no chance in Hecksville that that will work". The point is that you can use the advice to find what works best for you and eliminate the stuff that doesn't. 

So, once again - well done for starting your journey; don't panic and welcome on board

DrunklMunkee

Oh,

and also wanted to say don't go feeling that "shame" you mention in your diary title. 

We are all on here for the same reason. No-one is going to judge you for how we got here, just offer support on how to get out of the situation. 

detditcha

Thank you so much what a lovely and very helpful message yes my LBM I guess that's deffo it! thanks you, I will try a SOA for sure.

Markmywords

detditcha said:

Thank you so much for your lovely words. I have crohn's disease and this can flare if I do too much but I am certainly going to try and look into it when I feel less manic, maybe something casual at weekends or evenings.

So sorry to hear that. put your health first. All the best