Telling My Husband About about my DMP

eowen97

So to cut it all short. 

I moved in with my boyfriend into our flat, we went through a mortgage and everything and that's when things started to go down hill. 

I got into quite a bit of debt, loans, credit cards and all that. I got into about £7,000 worth of debt which I know isn't terrible but I'm self employed and only earn around £14,000 a year. I didn't tell him and just struggled through. 
We then got married which I got into more debt (have paid some of it off so back down to £7,000). I should have told him then but I was embarrassed and thought I could do it myself, I was wrong.
I have been on my DMP for about a year now and it has been amazing and it's a weight of my chest and I'm no longer struggling month to month trying to pay anything. 
We are now expecting our first child (excited!) but we are having to move out of our 1 bedroom flat. I have spoken to mortgage advisor and she is happy to port our mortgage over. But my husband would now see my DMP which has caused me a bit of anxiety. I feel as if he will be upset that I didn't tell him, and I am just scared to tell him. I know he will understand and wouldn't be angry as it doesn't ruin any of our plans but it is still causing me to worry. 

Has anyone else gone through this as well and have any advise. 
I think I just needed to vent as well.

EssexHebridean

Get everything set out clearly - not only in your own mind but also on paper or in spreadsheet form. Sit him down (choose a good moment when he is relaxed not stressed from work or whatever) and explain to him that you have something to tell him about and you need him to listen while you explain, then he can ask you any questions that arise once you have explained. Then go through with him from start to finish. Explain why the debt occurred (which might be because your income wasn't sufficient to cover the financial outgoings required in your new lives together) but make sure that you don't word it as accusatory or as though you are trying to place blame. Be ultra-clear that you know you should have told him earlier - and apologise for that. Explain that it wasn't lack of trust, but your own fear of the situation that lead to that lapse in openness. Show him that things are now fully under control, show him your debt free date. Tell him how the debt made you feel, and explain that the DMP has come as a relief, you now feel back in control again and that you are fully engaged in learning the lessons from the whole process. 

He may well initially be upset and hurt that you didn't tell him - but ultimately he will almost certainly be glad that your "think I need to tell you" isn't anything worse, and horrified that you've been through the stress on your own. 

Going forward, make sure you are both involved with the household budgeting - and have regular chats about the state of your finances, financial plans and savings. That will underline building trust around the issue again as he will  be able to see that you are keen to be very upfront about everything.