Partner hiding debts

Cupof_tea123

Hi,

My partner has been struggling a bit mentally since lockdown and when I try to talk to him about money etc he just changes topics.

In January he submitted his tax bill late and then they came back and said he owed another 200-300£ which he was angry about. Recently he's had a few letters through from HMRC which I didn't think much of at first, but this week he got one through, shrugged it off and then in 5 minutes it was nowhere to be seen. Not in the bin, or lying around so I got suspicious and found it tucked away on a shelf. He now owes over £1300 as he never paid it and is being charged £10 a day!

I didn't want to tell him I was snooping so I tried to ask him about it again but he just said he promises that it's just a letter reminding him not to pay his tax late this year.

We currently have a baby on the way and are meant to be saving for a house (which he avoids talking about) but now how do I approach this situation? What else is he hiding? Do I outright tell him I've seen the letter and I know he's lying?

RAS

This a bit of a red flag situation. He's struggling mentally, you suggest, he's also got to adjust to impending parenthood and to the new realities of life, roles and responsibilities including the financial implications. There's a lot of threads here where the new parents wake up to those months after the baby is born. Often having been on a bit of a spending spree in preparation for the baby.

You might want to try another tack? Get your own credit reports and statements, plus any joint accounts.  And look at the Statement of Affairs (budget planner) on www.lemonfool.co.uk.

Then suggest the pair of you sit down together to discuss how you face the challenges of new parenthood together, and plan for your new arrival. Being realistic about how you need to rein in the spending now to afford the change. It's also worth doing a check to find out what benefits you might be eligible for when the baby arrives. 

Once you got the basics, he might be prepared to discuss how much he needs to put aside to cover next year's tax bill, how business is actually going, and open up about debts.

elsien

I think I disagree slightly with the above. Yes it might be worth trying that initially but £10 a day is going to go up very quickly. 

And I don’t think you can just ignore it. At some point, sooner rather than later, you do need to tell him that you know about it.  In a “what can I do to help sort this“ kind of a way.
What joint finances do the two of you have at the moment?