Have you ever dealt with imposter syndrome?

n1guy

So after some advice.  I’ve worked for this firm about 10 months.  My job I’ve never done before, but the company also does the kind of work I’ve done 20 odd years, I do occasionally get to do this work when they’re under pressure I’m called to help out and love it, it’s my wheelhouse I’m completely at home and the company is happy with my work. 

Problem is it’s not my full time job, it’s doing something I’ve never done before and even after all this time I’ve no confidence in myself,  there’s also constant nitpicking, which in turn leads to mistakes and constant worry.  

Me and my worrying has got to the stage of being diagnosed with general anxiety, your worrying about work when not there, have insomnia, weekends ruined with worrying about work.  I’m trying at the min to navigate this without pharmaceutical help shall we say.  Maybe the jobs just not for me? On paper I have the ability and qualifications but zero confidence.  Unfortunately the firm doesn’t have enough work for me to do the other job full time.  So I’m unsure what to do to be honest but feel my mental health is in continuous decline.

marcia_

n1guy said:

So after some advice.  I’ve worked for this firm about 10 months.  My job I’ve never done before, but the company also does the kind of work I’ve done 20 odd years, I do occasionally get to do this work when they’re under pressure I’m called to help out and love it, it’s my wheelhouse I’m completely at home and the company is happy with my work. 

Problem is it’s not my full time job, it’s doing something I’ve never done before and even after all this time I’ve no confidence in myself,  there’s also constant nitpicking, which in turn leads to mistakes and constant worry.  

Me and my worrying has got to the stage of being diagnosed with general anxiety, your worrying about work when not there, have insomnia, weekends ruined with worrying about work.  I’m trying at the min to navigate this without pharmaceutical help shall we say.  Maybe the jobs just not for me? On paper I have the ability and qualifications but zero confidence.  Unfortunately the firm doesn’t have enough work for me to do the other job full time.  So I’m unsure what to do to be honest but feel my mental health is in continuous decline.

Me. I have an anxiety and ptsd diagnosis and I believe imposter syndrome. So much so I can't get even to interview because I'm questioning my ability to do the job and answer the questions. This is despite being a qualified professional and having previously worked in a similar role for 15 years. I take medication for my mental health and have addressed some of this in therapy but it's still there.

FlorayG

It may not be entirely you. 'Nitpicking' can be used as a form of bullying

Emmia

n1guy said:

So after some advice.  I’ve worked for this firm about 10 months.  My job I’ve never done before, but the company also does the kind of work I’ve done 20 odd years, I do occasionally get to do this work when they’re under pressure I’m called to help out and love it, it’s my wheelhouse I’m completely at home and the company is happy with my work. 

Problem is it’s not my full time job, it’s doing something I’ve never done before and even after all this time I’ve no confidence in myself,  there’s also constant nitpicking, which in turn leads to mistakes and constant worry.  

Me and my worrying has got to the stage of being diagnosed with general anxiety, your worrying about work when not there, have insomnia, weekends ruined with worrying about work.  I’m trying at the min to navigate this without pharmaceutical help shall we say.  Maybe the jobs just not for me? On paper I have the ability and qualifications but zero confidence.  Unfortunately the firm doesn’t have enough work for me to do the other job full time.  So I’m unsure what to do to be honest but feel my mental health is in continuous decline.

If I've read this correctly, your main job is something you're not confident in, and the ad-hoc job is something you've done for 20 years?

How long have you been in your main role? If it's a fairly short period (10months?) then I'd say give yourself a break (did you replace someone who was very good at the job?). Nit picking can be bullying but you can ask the person nit picking "how could I do this better?" and then act on it. I've had some brutal feedback in the past, and I've also had to give it (some things are quite difficult to dress up, or made palatable)

If you don't have confidence, then that can come with time, but sometimes you just have to fake it to make it - you have the skills and the qualifications, so give yourself a pep talk. "You can definitely do this, this is just like other things you've done..."

And you probably don't need the pharmaceuticals.

n1guy

Yeah you read that correctly, just 10 months.  You may be right I guess more time.  I don’t think they do the nitpicking to bully, I admit myself I’m just not the greatest at it but that’s probably due to lack of experienced 

Cheslea2010

My partner suffers terribly with imposter syndrome after starting a new business. She has had nothing but positive reviews about her services yet still doubts herself all the time. It comes coupled with anxiety unfortunately and often holds her back from doing things that she knows she is capable of doing. I'm hoping with time it will become less of a problem as her confidence builds but believe me you are not alone.

DullGreyGuy

n1guy said:

Yeah you read that correctly, just 10 months.  You may be right I guess more time.  I don’t think they do the nitpicking to bully, I admit myself I’m just not the greatest at it but that’s probably due to lack of experienced 

I've been doing my job for 20 years, though I'm a contractor so switch clients fairly regularly, and I generally get top dollar. I still have days/weeks where I think I'm useless and that they'd be better off having absolutely anyone else or even no one at all. 

It certainly became less common over time but has never totally gone away. I'm afraid I dont have any great pearls of wisdom to share really... it is likely to get better, depending on your line of work it could be to become fully proficient takes years (most roles I go for advertise wanting 5 -10 years experience). 

Also, you dont need to be the greatest. Only one person can hold that title in the world and with 8.2 billion of us it's unlikely to be you but thats fine. No matter what role your in there will be hundreds if not hundreds of thousands of other companies that also dont employ that one person and they're getting on just fine without them. Its nice being good at your job, no need to be the greatest.

tacpot12

Your ability to talk to yourself is the most effective way of combating imposter syndrome. You need to remind yourself of what you bring to the job. Remind yourself of the effort you put into the work and celebrate the small successes. Keep reminding yourself that you are worthwhile, even if the organisation doesn't seem to agree. At the end of the day, the only vote of confidence that ever matters if what they pay you. If they pay you, you are worth them having you. 

Any form of bullying is likely to increase your sense that you don't belong, but the truth is none of us 'belong' in an organisation until we have been there for a very long time and there is a very great alignment with the values of the organisation and your own values.