Mortgage & Separation

LadyP76

Hi, I hope someone can advise.... My ex partner and I split 13 years ago due to DV.  We have two children together, 14 & 16.  We remained civil for the sake of the children even though I still received intimidation and threats during that time.  18 months ago, after receiving threats on my doorstep, we ceased communication and so have our children (have witnessed a lot although I tried to protect).  We own a property together which he has been living in all this time, paying all of the mortgage as that was what he wanted to do while I rented a property.  He has provided nothing financially for his children.  I have received quite a bit of pressure from family saying that I need to sort out the mortgaged property and had been researching how to do that over the last month or so.  He has always been resistant regarding selling (accused my son of doing x,y,z, that was going to make him homeless).  Last week I received an email from my ex partner saying that he needed to speak to my regarding the house.  He wants to change the mortgage product to something cheaper but needs my permission.  I emailed back saying that unfortunately I couldn't agree as I wanted to sell my share of the property and remove myself from the mortgage.  He has today emailed me to say that he has consulted a solicitor and that I owe £75k in back mortgage payments and that I should set up a direct debit to pay half of the mortgage going forward.  I can't afford to pay half the mortgage and having done some investigating, the money paid by him over the last 11 years would be taken into consideration on sale of the property.  Please can anyone shed some light for me?

Mark_d

I would take legal advice from solicitors specialising in family law.  There are a number of issues here.

The threats/intimidation - were these reported to the police?

Your ex-partner paid nothing towards the children.  Did you apply for child maintenance?

You do not owe anything in back mortgage payments.  You have not been benefitting from the house and you have not wanted the house since your split 13 years ago.

You should do what you can to get the house sold, get full financial separation from your ex, and get a restraining order.

Hoenir

Has your ex not paid child maintenance ?

You've had to provide a home for you and the children.  That's a monetary factor which will level the playing field. 

His failure to sell the property sooner is coming back to bite him. As he needs your permission to do anything. You are in control. Seems that he cannot afford to buy you out. You own 50% of the property.  That's the base point for negotiation. He needs to sell the property and release you from the mortgage liability. 

Suspect the email is as the result of him not hearing what he expected from the solicitor he consulted ! 

LadyP76

Mark_d said:

I would take legal advice from solicitors specialising in family law.  There are a number of issues here.

The threats/intimidation - were these reported to the police?

Your ex-partner paid nothing towards the children.  Did you apply for child maintenance?

You do not owe anything in back mortgage payments.  You have not been benefitting from the house and you have not wanted the house since your split 13 years ago.

You should do what you can to get the house sold, get full financial separation from your ex, and get a restraining order.

Thank you for replying

All of the threats/intimidation/assaults have been reported to the police.
He has paid zero towards the children except for the odd present here and there.  I attempted to claim child maintenance while he was self employed but due to him hiding his income and an abusive phone call from one of his family members, I ceased.  He now classes himself as retired and his family pay his mortgage and bills (family wealth).  I am petrified of them all.  

LadyP76

@Hoenir I think he's a bit annoyed that I won't agree to a new mortgage product to reduce his outgoings.  Plus, as he doesn't work now, he will struggle to obtain a mortgage elsewhere.  After our children refused to see him anymore, I received a solicitor letter saying that he would take me to court for access.  Both children are over 13 and have their own rights over whether they see their dad.  I think the purpose of his email is to attempt to make me panic.

silvercar

He has today emailed me to say that he has consulted a solicitor and that I owe £75k in back mortgage payments and that I should set up a direct debit to pay half of the mortgage going forward.  

Send him a demand for rent for half the property!

Actually don't. I wouldn't think his email warrants a reply.

ACG

Refuse to pay half and ask to put the property up for sale. 
He is either going to remortgage to take you off, miss payments and mess up both of your credit reports, sell up or pay more. 

But paying the SVR is going to probably force his hand unless he is easily able to afford the higher rate. 

LadyP76

@ACG what is SVR?

ACG

The standard variable rate. 
When your mortgage product ends (usually after 2, 3 or 5 years) you revert to the SVR unless you tie into a new deal. It sounds like your deal is coming to an end and it will soon revert to the SVR which means the repayments will jump. 

The SVR varies from lender to lender, but halifax is 8.74%, Natwest/RBS is 7.99%, Nationwides is 7.74% so it gives you an idea of what will happen to the rate. If you have the balance, the remaining term and the SVR you can work out what the repayments will go to. 

LadyP76

@ACG the product hasn't changed since the property was purchased around 2006 so I would assume it's been SVR for quite a while.  He said that the provider have been in touch to ask if he would like to change the product but I doubt that also

ACG

Ah ok fair enough. He must be used to the payments then so probably wont force his hand.