Shall I stop paying credit cards?

Dreaming_big

Menopausal exhaustion and brain fog led me to leave a lucrative career, but I didn't adjust my lifefestyle to match it, and now have credit card debt. I've been cutting back everywhere just to make the minimum payments, but this isn't sustainable. I'm not even making a dent in them.
I am single Mum to 3. The 2 oldest are adults, but full time students in student accomodation. They both have jobs, but my income means they don't get full loans, so I top up each £100 pm, and family home is still needed. If youngest  goes to  uni I'll be a student mum to 2 students for 5 years, then another year of 1 student.
I airbnb their rooms, which is part of my income.
If I stop credit card companies, wait for card companies to sell on debt abd do to a DMP, am I right in thinking I wont be able to be a guarantor for my student children when they need one to rent next year? any ideas around this? Dad doesn't want anything to do with them now they are adults.
Advice around how to go about this, both practical, psychological and emotionally please! I've been very lucky with past income, and I'm feeling a lot of shame and fear around this.

Summary of Monthly Income, expense and surplus

Total monthly income: £2967

Expenses (incl. HP & secured debts): £2721

Available for debt repayments: £246

Unsecured debt repayments: £470

Surplus (shortfall if negative) £-224

Personal Balance Sheet Summary

Assets: £403610

Secured & HP Debt -£59000

Unsecured Debt -£25604

Net Assets £319006

Dreaming_big

Summary

Monthly Budget Summary	Amount(£)
Total monthly income	2,967
Monthly expenses (incl. HP & secured loans)	2,721
Available for debt repayments	246
UNsecured debt repayments	470
Amount short for making debt repayments	-224

Personal Balance Sheet Summary	Amount(£)
Total Assets (things you own)	403,610
Total Secured & HP Debt	-59,000
Total Unsecured Debt	-25,604
Net Assets	319,006

Household Information

Number of adults in household	1
Number of children in household	3
Number of cars owned	1

Income, Expense, Debt & Asset Details

Income	Amount(£)
Monthly income after tax	2647
Partners monthly income	0
Benefits	110
Other income	210
Total monthly income	2967

Expenses	Amount(£)
Mortgage	461
Secured/HP loan payments	0
Rent	0
Management charge (leasehold property)	0
Council tax	210
Electricity	5
Gas	80
Oil	0
Water Rates	0
Telephone (land line)	0
Mobile phone	65
TV Licence	13
Satellite/Cable TV	48
Internet services	33
Groceries etc.	500
Clothing	25
Petrol/diesel	120
Road tax	15
Car Insurance	56
Car maintenance (including MOT)	50
Car Parking	0
Other travel	0
Childcare/nursery	0
Other child related expenses	100
Medical (prescriptions, dentists, opticians etc.)	25
Pet Insurance/Vet bills	0
Buildings Insurance	55
Contents Insurance	0
Life Assurance	35
Other Insurance	0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc.)	50
Haircuts	25
Entertainment	300
Holiday	200
Emergency Fund	50
students x 2	200
Total monthly expenses	2721

Secured & HP Debt Description	Debt(£)	Monthly(£)	APR(%)
Mortgage	59000	(461)	5.12
Secured & HP Debt totals	59000	-	-

Unsecured Debt Description	Debt(£)	Monthly(£)	APR(%)
barclaycard	2220	80	20.45
barclycd 0% Aug25	5813	0	0
tesco	9926	175	9.8
Nationwide	1980	45	12.2
Newday	5665	170	22
Unsecured Debt totals	25604	470	-

Asset Description	Value (£)
Cash	610
House Value (Gross)	400000
Shares and bonds	0
Car(s)	3000
Other assets (e.g. endowments, jewellery etc)	0
Total Assets	403610

MattMattMattUK

Dreaming_big said:

Menopausal exhaustion and brain fog led me to leave a lucrative career,

Two things to think about, firstly is there a way back into that lucrative career and would you want to go back and second is have you sought help for the impacts of menopause. The first could make things a lot easier, the second might offer a quality of life improvement. 

Dreaming_big said:
There are probably some costs that can be trimmed out of expenses and that could give you a lot more to play with. 

Mobile phone 65 - How many phone contracts is this for? You should be able to get this to sub £20 for just one phone, depending on what you actually need, £10 a month would give you what you need unless you use a lot of data out of the home. 

TV Licence 13 - Cancel this, easy win. 

Satellite/Cable TV 48 - Cancel this, easy win.

Groceries etc. 500 - As this is a round figure is it just an estimate? Potentially with just two at home most of the time then you should be able to halve that for much of the year, though I would suspect holidays it would be higher. 

Entertainment 300 - It may be worth cutting back on this in the short term to make nice dent. 

Holiday 200 - I would probably scrap this for the foreseeable future. 

Emergency Fund 50 - How much do you currently have in your emergency fund?

As a short term gain there is £700+ a month just in the above which could be worth it to make a dent. 

Dreaming_big said:

Unsecured Debt Description Debt(£) Monthly(£) APR(%)

barclaycard 2220 80 20.45

barclycd 0% Aug25 5813 0 0 - How much longer is this debt on zero interest for?

tesco 9926 175 9.8

Nationwide 1980 45 12.2

Newday 5665 170 22

Unsecured Debt totals 25604 470 -

The most painful ones are the Barclaycard and Newday at 20%+, if you threw everything at the Barclaycard you could clear it in three months, which I would imagine would make you feel quite a bit better. then hit the Newday, in theory you should hit the Newday first as the rate is higher, but I suspect you might feel better with one cleared. 

Dreaming_big said:

If I stop credit card companies, wait for card companies to sell on debt abd do to a DMP, 

First there will be a hail of calls, message, emails and letters, then they will default you. The advantage of a default is that it means no more interest, but it also has negative medium term impacts, so you need to weigh those up. 

Dreaming_big said:

am I right in thinking I wont be able to be a guarantor for my student children when they need one to rent next year? any ideas around this?

You are correct, but you would not be able to be a guarantor at the moment either as you would not be able to afford their rent if they defaulted so it is immaterial anyway. 

Dreaming_big said:

Advice around how to go about this, both practical, psychological and emotionally please! I've been very lucky with past income, and I'm feeling a lot of shame and fear around this.

Practical you will get a lot on here, you need to weigh up options as all of them have advantages and disadvantages. I hope you can speak to your GP and get help with your menopause symptoms, HRT can work wonders, I know it did for my mum. The other thing is think about where you want to be in five, ten or twenty years time, do you want your career back, are you happier in a less pressured role with the difference in income that brings? Finally, forget the shame, we all make mistakes, they key is to deal with them when we make them and learn from them, you are doing that by coming on here to tackle the issue. 

Dreaming_big

Thanks. Yes, now on maximum HRT. It took me a gew years to recognise the symptoms if brain fog/anxiety/exhausyion were my estrogen falling, and thats where things fell apart for a while. Much better now, but no, don't want/couldn't go back to career. Want to live a simpler, less stressful life. 
Phones - I pay for 4 phones (mine,  15 year old plus 2 students). 
Tv packages are for them too - but I'll stop these. 
I will have a good think about your other questions. Thanks for taking time to answer. 

Dreaming_big

Barclaycard zero ends Aug 25, 

Grumpelstiltskin

Do you qualify for the single persons discount on your council tax?

If you long term want a simpler life you have to budget for a smaller income, holiday £200, entertainment £300? can you reduce those 2 expenses?

Dreaming_big

True. 
That is with single person discount. High council tax band, even though value now effected by being designated a flood risk. That wasn't reason to drop a band, apparently. 
Yes, I can cut entertainment. Not sure I can go without a holiday for too many years though, but can cut in the short term. 

Grumpelstiltskin

OK but holiday works out at £2400 per year, you can get one cheaper than that, it will be a case of deciding what is most important to you.

elsien

Your student children are working. You are already topping up their student loan. There is no reason they can’t be paying for their own phones. 

If your two student children are not living at home, then you can certainly cut back on the £500 a month on groceries for two of you. 

Is £5 a month for electricity really accurate?

And much as my holidays are important to me, if you can’t pay your bills, you can’t afford a holiday however much you might want one. 

Is there any of that or the emergency fund money being put aside at all? Because if it’s in the budget, but you don’t have the money, it’s evaporating somewhere else and that’s what you need to try and work out.

Dreaming_big

I thankfully have solar panels, so £5 is accurate. 
It's the kids that have drained my finances. Both older ones are autistic, and have had a lot of mental health problems, not starting uni until their 20s, this year. 
I've been following YNAB for a couple of months now, which has given me a mire realistic picture of where my money is going. 

Floss

Do your student children receive disabled student allowance? That will give them more income to help with their particular needs:
https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa