I’m out of my mind with worrying about debt. Need advice

Hello, I’ve buried my head for too long because I have a son on disability and a daughter who has anxiety so don’t want to talk to them and worry them. I have just cashed my pension so have 10k but can’t spend on debts as my salary isn’t covering the bills. Worried about not paying debts in case letters and bailiffs knock my door when son home and I’m at work. Don’t know where to start and have around 40k in debts at 61 years old so feeling very ashamed of myself right now. What is my first step ? Many thanks 
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Comments

  • stu12345_2
    stu12345_2 Posts: 1,576 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    edited 14 August 2024 at 9:16AM
    ok can you read this and fill in the  link in section that states lemon fool income expenditure.


    https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

    we need accurate pic of all the money coming in all the expenses and debts and interest rates, 

    you cashing in pension will damage any insolvency route, at first glance im thinking use that £10000 to make full and final discounted offers to creditors 
     especially if they are old debts, but debts must be legal as in the credit agreement must exist.

    we will go into that later in this chat

    make sure you read all of this 

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6496941/in-debt-and-wannabe-debt-free-first-steps/p1
    Christians Against Poverty solved my debt problem, when all other debt charities failed. Give them a call !! ( You don't have to be a Christian ! )

    https://capuk.org/contact-us
  • Ok will do, thank you. It may take a while as lenders have changed hands etc I didn’t know this existed for advice and it’s made a huge difference just reading posts. Thank you 
  • stu12345_2
    stu12345_2 Posts: 1,576 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    take time, fill it in best you can and relax
    Christians Against Poverty solved my debt problem, when all other debt charities failed. Give them a call !! ( You don't have to be a Christian ! )

    https://capuk.org/contact-us
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,605 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 14 August 2024 at 9:32AM
    Also wondering how old your children are, and if working/on benefits are they contributing to the household expenses if they still live with you?

    Also unless anyone has got a CCJ against you, it won’t be bailiffs coming round. 
    You may be getting harassed by debt collectors, but there is a template letter to tell them only to contact you by post and don’t  talk to them on the phone if they call. 
    They have no special powers, although they will do their best to make you think that they do. 
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • My son is 30 and lives with me. I do take a rent from him as he is home all day using elec etc and understands. My daughter has her own family but worries about my son so I don’t want her worrying about me as well. I have always paid my debts so far out of redundancy payments etc but worried about money running out now as nothing left to cash in. 
  • fatbelly
    fatbelly Posts: 22,688 Forumite
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    Please keep that lump sum somewhere not connected to your debts. If you can get some interest on it, so much the better

    https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/savings-accounts-best-interest/

    Moving forward, all the advice so far is good and will help us to see the detail if you follow it. But whatever the strategy you will need to protect your income so will need to be banking somewhere unconnected to the debts

  • does your son claim all the benefits he is entitled to, UC and the correct rate of PIP for starters?

    Are you paying the correct amount of council tax?
    How Council Tax works: Discounts for disabled people - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)
    If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.
  • My son claims ESA and Pip on the lowest level. I pay full council tax and I could not get any discount (I did try ). My son has just been told his Pip May end soon and that has made me stress even more, as won’t be able to afford to pay a lot if taken away. 

    I have always had a good job so it was all good, until I was redundant. Never missed payments before as i used what was saved (probably wrong thing to do).
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 35,069 Forumite
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    edited 14 August 2024 at 1:24PM
    OK, just fill in the SOA as best as you can.

    And remember, you don't just get bailiffs for consumer debt. The TV stuff is generally business or secured debt or CT. And you can withdraw the creditors' right to phone, text, email or visit if you need to.
    If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 35,605 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 14 August 2024 at 1:27PM
    Your son needs to pay whatever it costs you for him to be there.  If that means he hast to economise as well, then that’s what he has to do. A roof over his head is far more important.

    In terms of being told that his PIP may end soon, who has told you that because if it’s due to be reviewed and he disagrees with the decision made there are mechanisms for appealing which tend to be quite successful. 

    Obviously, it’s a worry, but make sure he gets proper help with filling in any forms and try not to get too far ahead of yourself with the what ifs. 

    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
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