Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

Bluegreen143

Lovely night out last night. Stayed out a little later than intended so tired today, but worth it. There were four of us and my turn for a round didn’t come up (as we were all on soft drinks so naturally tend to drink more slowly) so no money spent, but I will make sure I go up first next time! 

Have sent an email enquiring about kids’ gymnastics class for Bambi. I don’t hugely *want* to add something else to our schedule, but as her brother is allowed to do two activities I want to offer her the same as she is keen on the idea of either gymnastics or dance. They are the council-run classes as they are super close to her school and I believe they do lots of different days/times so can hopefully find one after school rather than having to hang about for ages. Though we may need to go on a waiting list of course. That would be another subscription of £24 a month I think, which isn’t too bad. 

Not going into the office today as agreed with the team due to half the car park being closed this week -I actually think my manager is still travelling anyway as she’s been down south this week. 

Making a big pot of chicken curry tonight, which will be both dinner and also make a few freezer lunch boxes with some rice added. The kids can have it tomorrow and then some next week too. 

We’ve gotten into a good rhythm with how much food to add now - I send a thermos of pasta, soup, curry/chilli with rice or baked beans. I include 1/2 a sandwich if it’s soup and a pitta & cheese to fill when it’s baked beans, otherwise it’s just the thermos. 

Then alongside it, a small tub of vegetable sticks and a bigger tub of chopped fruit. It does them snack and lunch and I’ve not had to start buying prepacked kids’ bits like cereal bars, yoghurts, biscuits or crisps so it’s not seeming to have an impact on the budget. The kids seem satisfied and happy just taking fruit & veg, probably because the thermos is quite a big portion so they are filling up on the main rather than having lots of little snacks in there - which I’d exactly what I’d rather anyway. I am making sure I only send meals they like in the thermos as I reckon trying new food is better done at home!

I wondered if they’d feel hard done by as school lunches include dessert twice a week, but neither child has asked for a dessert or treat to be included so clearly not 🤷‍♀️. 

themadvix

Those lunches sound delicious - can I have one please?!

amber03

I used to be a mid day assistant for many years at a local primary school and loved it. One thing we noticed that usually the junior children on packed lunches would throw most of their lunches away, so it looked like they had eaten them. We stopped them doing this as it was to show parents how much they had eaten. Sadly walking behind one or two on their way home, they would throw it away in a bin in the street. Also remember one child used to bring fantastic packed lunches in, they were creative and different. We used to go and watch her open her box to see what was inside. When we spoke to her mum about how good they were, she said it was her husband who did them. He was getting carried away and wanted to make them exciting for her.x

Bluegreen143

The kids at our school aren’t allowed to throw anything away and I don’t believe they are circumventing the system - Bambi is coming back with any veg sticks or fruit she doesn’t like still in the tubs, which I generally then make her eat at home 🤣. Her flask sometimes has a little left which is fine as she has the same size serving as her brother. He is a human dustbin atm who is eating giant portions all the time and likes everything he is being served so I don’t think he would be trying to trick me by throwing it away rather than eating it. But ours don’t walk home from school so wouldn’t have any opportunity to do it anyway.

Bluegreen143

Payday!

Monzo savings balances now:

Holiday £2,527. (today we also paid our first £1,427 towards our holiday, so it would have been just shy of £4K otherwise. Next £1,427 instalment due in one month). 

December £280 (this is for Christmas and the kids’ birthdays).

Bills £1,044. (this is for all bills, family subscriptions and home/car maintenance so gets spent from but it should build up over time for annual costs). 

Emergency Fund £1,501.

New Kitchen £554.

Pleased that they are all at the amount they should be, and that only things which should be charged to each pot are coming out from them (E.g. paying a holiday instalment from the holiday pot). 

As well as the pots, I currently have £254 in my personal account to do any personal spends until 14th March, and £473* in the joint account which is available for groceries, any family wants, kids’ clothes or small miscellaneous spends. This will be topped up at the end of this month when Red gets paid. 

*Edit - remembered it’s £491 as Red owes the joint account £21 for booze in the Tesco order 😅. Have sent him a ping on Monzo to split that bill. I really like this feature as it reduces nagging text messages and makes it easier for the payer too as they just hit a button for the right amount to go in.

Expected spends this weekend:

- Red is picking up Tesco sushi counter sushi for an at-home date tonight - nice and cheap as we had considered getting a takeaway sushi delivery instead. 

- I need to take Monkey along to a soft play party Bambi has tomorrow so will need to pay his entry and buy him something to eat. 

- On Sunday we are taking the kids to a country park with a little mini kids’ zoo, so we may pay the few £ for mini zoo entry (the actual park/walks are free, and I will make something to take for lunch as the cafe there isn’t very good). 

- Later on Sunday the kids are away to my mum’s for a couple of nights, so Red and I are taking a walk down to our very reasonably-priced local chinese for a date night dinner. 

Bluegreen143

Lovely evening last night having delicious sushi with my DH squirrelled away in the candlelit conservatory while the children watched Monsters, Inc and then put themselves to bed as agreed with us 🤣. 

Today was a day of two parties - a class birthday party for Bambi, who had a very lovely time. I had to take Monkey with me as I didn’t have time to go home afterwards to fetch him, but was shocked to learn that it cost £19(!!!!) to pay him into the softplay without buying food. £19 for one child!!!! 

I think this was due to the “special event” they had on that day (an entertainer performing for about 15 minutes 🙄) and was not the usual price of entry but it explains why the venue was fairly empty apart from party guests.

By the time we were there, I didn’t feel I had much of a choice so I just paid it. Later I learned that another older sibling had come and was just sat playing a card game in the cafe so it had been agreed with the staff he didn’t need to be paid in. I wish I had done this with Monkey as he only played in the softplay a little while then settled in to join the other big kid with his card game. Lesson learned! 

By the way, the dad of the birthday child told me the party cost them £600 which I was also shocked to hear. There were maybe 20 guests. Since when was softplay so outrageous in cost?! Reinforces why we do parties at home as there is just no way I would pay that. 

After this party we went over to my friend’s house - she hosted a “Valentine’s party” (very casually valentines themed) which is mainly an excuse for us mums to get together 🤣. The kids get on well too though. Monkey had a great time but Bambi started feeling a bit ill so we ended up leaving a little earlier than planned. Hoping she is better soon as she’s going to stay at my mum’s for two nights for childcare…

Baileys_Babe

Those are exorbitant prices, lesson learned for next time.

I hope Bambi recovers quickly.

Sarahwithlove

It's OK to occasionally say sorry we already have plans on that date to some parties maybe the expensive ones should be given a miss as £19 is a rip off

amber03

Think £7 was the most I have paid for soft play and that included a meal. Paying £600 for a kids party, I think I would have said no.x

Spendless

I paid almost £200 for my daughters 7th bday party. Bare in mind shes 22 next month so 15 years ago. I cant quite remember how many invited but I think it was under 10, this was the minimum number they accepted for their parties. You paid the whole lot 2 weeks beforehand. No other soft play in the area operated like this but this was brand new and the kids all wanting to go. Daughter asked for her party on her actual bday so I organised it for after school. On the day itself several parents let me down saying they couldnt make it that. Daughter ended up with only a few children at a party that had cost me a fortune.

After that I refused to do soft play parties, instead I would chose an activity eg bowling or cinema and we would go on the day to it (when walk.ins were the norm) after the activity we'd go to a fast food place and get kids meals or a sharing bucket, then back home for cake and party bags. That way I never paid over the odds again and not for non attendees.