Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

Baileys_Babe

Your plans for tomorrow sound good and well done on catering for such a diverse group of friends and family.

Bluegreen143

End of month figures as Red has been paid! He had a really good pay of £2,648. The plan is eventually to put aside anything he earns over his average into a buffer account, but money is too tight until after Christmas to do that yet so it’s all been budgeted out. 

OCTOBER ROUND-UP

INCOME - £5,112

FIXED/NEEDS - £2,761

Home £1,078 - Inc a new fridge. 

Utilities £267

Insurance £73

Car £392 - Inc a minor repair plus annual road tax.

Groceries £730 - Eeek! 

Kids’ clothing £113 - Winter clothing for Bambi, who’s gone up a size.

Subscriptions £75 - Inc TV/music plus kids’ activities.

Miscellaneous £33 - £20ish is from balance reconciliations/because of poor accounting. 

WANTS £1,442

Red £400

Me £318 - £62 on clothing & makeup; £47 on subscriptions and the rest on books and socialising.

Holiday £172 - A weekend away with MIL.

Gifts & celebrations £125 - Getting sorted for my kids’ birthdays. 

Family £428 - Includes £260 on supplies for renovating the kids’ rooms, rest is workbooks for the kids, a takeaway and days out as a family. 

TOTAL SPENDING - £4,158
DEBT PAYMENT - £399
TOTAL PLUS DEBT - £4,557

foxgloves

Eeek indeed to those groceries!

Bluegreen143

Had a lovely Halloween yesterday, if somewhat chaotic! Guising went very well and the children had an absolute blast. More houses in the estate were decorated and hanging out sweets this year than ever before, and we also had more guisers than we’ve ever had before! Luckily my friend who joined us brought plenty of sweets for us to hand out as I’d have run out with what I bought.

One thing I try to do with the kids is connect Halloween to a deeper meaning so we’ve talked a bit about the seasons turning/going into the dark and cold part of the year now; and I also told them that as well as ghost stories it’s an ideal time to remember loved ones who aren’t with us anymore. We spoke about some of those we’ve lost recently and I told them stories about my late grandmother, who I was very close to but passed away when Monkey was a baby. 

We made far too much pasta which was good was we’ve got a family sized portion of sauce left for another meal 🙌🏼. 

Tonight I’m going out for dinner with friends. Really looking forward to it - these particular friends I see quite infrequently and we last had drinks during the summer (though I did have a playdate with one of them and their kids in between). Also nice to have a release from domestic duties of cooking and bedtime routines, although I do love our usual routine it’s nice to have a night off. I’ve ordered chicken kievs in today’s shop for DH, BIL and the kids. DH is actually a perfectly good cook, and cooks lots of different things if he’s cooking for me or guests, but always seems quite unmotivated if I’m going out and wants something convenient for him and the kids 🤷‍♀️. I think he’s worried in case his work runs late so doesn’t want any stress. 

Bluegreen143

Lovely night out with my friends last night. I walked into the west end for it (I got 17k steps yesterday, and 103 zone minutes - ie minutes of moderate exercise) and my friend let me share her taxi home, and paid for it, so no transport costs. Costs were £5.95 for a small glass of wine at the pub beforehand, and £48 for dinner including tip - not bad, as the food was excellent, and I had a share of antipasti board to start, a big bowl of pasta, a shared dessert with one friend and two glasses of Prosecco. 

One friend went home and the other one and I wandered along the road to find a pub, but the first three we went into were all too busy, noisy or studenty for our tastes so we ended up giving it a miss and going home 🤣. Tbh, I’m trying to stick to a three drink max when I drink so it was just as well, as I’d already had three. 

Today I’ve taken the kids out to let DH and BIL crack on with building the bed for Bambi’s room. Quite pleased with the day out I’ve constructed, almost all free and making use of our local area. We don’t often take advantage of living in a city as we tend to try to go out to natural settings for days out. 

I packed a lunch for the kids then parked at a park & ride, jumped on the underground into the west end, and everything we’ve done has been free except the park & ride tickets. First we had the novelty of going to a different and bigger library branch than usual (I’d taken our books to swap out). Next a wander along to the university and we went to both the art gallery and museum there (both free). Another wander along the river (such beautiful autumn foliage here just now) to a park and the kids are enjoying the playground just now. 

Red & BIL gave the kids £5 each to spend in charity shops so we’ll do that next before jumping on the underground to get back to the car. If we wanted, there is another free museum here, and another playground further up, but I’m getting tired 😆 - feeling a bit fuzzy headed after the wine last night, plus I stayed up til 1am finishing my book…

We are going to order dessert in tonight which is an expense, but it’s a treat to celebrate Monkey getting an award at school for something he’s been working hard on. Someone different gets it every week but it is merit based rather than everyone getting one, and he’s been determined to win it since he went back in August, so I’m really pleased for him and pleased that he’s shown hard work and perseverance. I don’t give them money as a reward for achievements but I like to celebrate them as a family if we can. 

Floss

I think that's a lovely way to celebrate achievement with a special family meal.

Bluegreen143

Tbh we regretted getting a dessert delivery - it cost FAR too much (£45ish) and we should have just bought nice ice cream sundae ingredients for at home and made crepes instead! Lesson learnt. But Monkey enjoyed it and felt special so that’s good. 

I’ve tweaked our monthly budget due to a couple of upcoming changes to bills, so leaving the new budget here for reference (it’ll apply from Dec):

INCOME £4,874

SAVINGS £975

LISA £200
Credit card £659
Emergencg fund £116

(Not included in total figures as it’s pre tax - £583 a month going into our pensions)

FIXED £2,437

Home £800 Mortgage, council tax, rounded up to build a maintenance pot. 

Utilities £201 Energy & internet 
Insurance £86 Home & life ins
Car £400 Petrol, annual ins/tax, rounded up for a maintenance pot. 

Groceries £670
Kids’ clothing £50
Subscriptions £110 TV, Spotify, Cubs/Rainbows/karate/bike club subs
Miscellaneous £111 For stuff I’ve forgotten about - leftovers to be added to savings 

WANTS £1,462

Red £400
Me £300
Family £296 (aim is to underspend and add to savings)
Holidays £296
Gifts & celebrations £170

Bluegreen143

Oh but I am pleased as I was getting stressed at having no Christmas gifts bought, and I ordered gifts for my mum and stepdad. £70 spent which is within the £75 I’d budgeted and it’s done! 

Next to order gifts for my sister and BIL. For my grandfather I get a calendar of the kids made up so will need to take some time over that.

I want to sit down with Red tonight to discuss what we’re getting for the kids & what he wants.

Red sorts out gifts for his mum & siblings so just need to keep him in budget!

amber03

I’ve done all Xmas shopping for DS3, the other 2 have money so are easily sorted. Me and OH are at the stage where we buy our own pressies and just hand them over to the other one to wrap up. This was because I was fed up with receiving presents my OH thought I would like instead of buying off the list I used to give him. Only need a few other pressies for family and a friend which I am determined to get at the end of the month when I get paid.x

Bluegreen143

You sound organised amber03! 

Fireworks tonight - DH spent £50 on them the other day. We’ve got his best friend and his family coming for it, as well as BIL, who is still staying here. 

I’m starting a new project (as part of a paid parenting membership I’ve been in for years) around mealplanning this quarter, which I’m excited about. The aim is to create a simple recurring mealplan for weekdays using themes. We did this years ago when the kids were small - eg, Monday night was always “soup night”, but the soup varied. You can choose a theme for every night, but I think I want to leave more room for experimenting at the weekend. 

Once I have my themes and a few recipes on hand for each theme, I’d love to set up some kind of shopping list template based on it, as I find the shopping bit the most annoying. And I also want to get in the habit of batch prepping food a couple of times a week. 

Oh another spend yesterday - spent £26 in Tesco, half on tights for Bambi (she’d outgrown hers so I got her 3 navy pairs for school and 3 pink pairs for matching all her pink dresses 🤣). And half on pencils, colouring pencils, rubbers and glue sticks for the kids. 

Meals today:

B - chocolate banana overnight oats (my “working in the office” indulgent breakfast of choice - it’s not as unhealthy as it sounds though!)

L - leftover lentil & veg soup with a ham & salad sandwich 

D - making shawarma chicken with pittas, hummus and salad