Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

satchmo1

If I remember rightly, you have to let a fridge "settle" for 4 hours before plugging it in. Then it needs to reach the correct temperature. 

KajiKita

satchmo1 said:

If I remember rightly, you have to let a fridge "settle" for 4 hours before plugging it in. Then it needs to reach the correct temperature. 

I depends on how it’s transported. If transported flat / on its back, yes, you have to let the refrigerant gases return to the correct locations. If transported upright then you can just turn it on. The people delivering it will be able to advise on this. 

TBH, it sounds like @Bluegreen143’s current appliance is so ineffective that even putting the food straight into the new one would keep the food cooler! 😉

KK

Honeysucklelou2

The cinema day out sounded lovely.

Bluegreen143

Thanks HSL, it was!

Good tips on fridge, will check with delivery driver. 

We did save £155 apparently by not paying to get it installed or the old one taken away - no idea it cost this much for that service! It’s worth keeping Red around just for these things 🤣. 

Had a lovely evening with him today actually. My sister is keeping my children overnight so Red and I walked down to the local Chinese restaurant. £62 for three courses each, an extra side, two (alcoholic) drinks each and the tip which I think is decent! We had loads of good chat and it felt great to have some time just us. We then came home and started watching Nightsleeper together on iPlayer (the internet is back on, yay, means I can WFH tomorrow!), and are now gripped, so that’ll be the watching sorted for the next few nights! 

I did however forget to get my knitting out for while the TV was on, which is a habit I’m trying to build. Think tomorrow I’ll move it into my basket next to where I sit where I keep books/notebooks so it’s visible. 

Bluegreen143

Well that was a very hard earned £155, as it turns out to be a massive hassle switching over fridges yourself 🤣. But it’s done now (except taking the old fridge to the skip, which Red will do tomorrow).

Dealing with this and tidying around the chaos seemed to take up much of my day, though I did walk to Tesco with the kids and so get all my steps in (I’m at 11.5k steps and 27 active zone minutes today).

My friend came for a playdate and dinner with her two children which was lovely. We did what Monkey calls a “pick and mix tea” - sausage rolls, herby chicken breast I’d done in the air fryer, pesto pasta, HM guacamole, HM hummus, big bowls of chopped raw veg, a baguette. We’d done a huge plate of apple, strawberry, blueberry and banana when the friends arrived so I’m happy that the kids have definitely gotten their five a day! 

Spent £22 on gifts (£20 voucher and £2 card for my cousin’s new baby), £7 on a pair of leggings for me and £16 on food at Tesco, then later we got a £76 Tesco delivery. It’s delightful to have a clean new working fridge freezer and we’ve put everything away in it. It’s got a water dispenser on the front too, which we’ve never had before 😍. 

Bluegreen143

Well I’ve woken up and it’s heavily raining today, so now I feel I wasted yesterday’s glorious sunshine and should have taken the kids out for a proper walk somewhere. Though I know in reality we needed to have all hands on deck for housework and installing the fridge, I still hate wasting sunny days…

Nothing financial to report today really. I doubt we’ll have any spending. I’ll probably do some pasta for dinner as I’m going out for lunch and for the afternoon with my papa and don’t want something too time consuming to do after. 

Off topic parenting chat (feel free to skip if you’re here for finances 😆)

I was really pleased yesterday to resolve something I’d been working on for a little while - trying to nail down a small handful of character virtues to make into family values (a bit like how the school have school values they continually teach the children and the children get house points for displaying those behaviours so they really do start to embed them). 

I wanted ours to be worded as adjectives though so I could use them to complete the sentence “I want to bring up my children to be X, Y, Z” (or indeed “I want myself to be X, Y, Z”!!). And I was looking for the kind of words with different layers to their meanings which could stand as a shorthand for other values - like how kindness can also be the phrase you use with your kids when they are generous or empathetic. 

So I’ve had several conversations on this with Red and also in a parenting group I’m in (some of them have done this exercise in the past), I’ve scoured blogs and articles online and I’ve been continually thinking and making lists. And then it came to me randomly when I was washing dishes yesterday! So our words are:

Wise - I want them to learn to be thoughtful and respond rather than react based on their emotions, make responsible and sensible decisions and do the right thing when faced with moral dilemmas. I want them to use their money and resources wisely too. 

Kind - obviously being warm, generous and compassionate and treating others as you’d like to be treated, giving people the benefit of the doubt. 

Brave - having the courage to do the right thing or tell the truth even when it’s hard, and not letting fear stop you taking opportunities or living/loving fully. 

Strong - having good mindsets (avoiding victim mindset, being optimistic), being resilient, determined and having perseverance to get through life’s challenges. 

I really like how these work together - Kindness without wisdom or strength can make you a pushover; strength without wisdom or kindness can make you a nasty person; courage without wisdom is recklessness; wisdom without courage can mean you hesitate to make decisions and take action. 

I already talk about some of these with the children (“we’re kind and respectful to each other in this family, was that a kind thing to do?” But my plan is just to try to weave them in more so that they become a little bit of a cheat sheet to evaluate our behaviour against. So that by the time they leave my home they identify themselves as being these things. I think it’s easier for them to remember four key values than constantly changing the language around why their behaviour is good or bad.  

Yesterday I was reading a fairy tale to the kids (fairy tales are excellent conversation starters about right and wrong behaviour) and we talked about whether the cruel king in the story was behaving wisely or kindly; and how brave the hero was when he allowed himself to be captured to save the children of the village. That seemed to make sense to them. 

KajiKita

Love your values 😊❤️ Very well structured and easy to weave into day to day life and conversations 😊

Shame about losing yesterday’s weather. Is the forecast not set to dry up a bit for you this afternoon? (It is here.)

KK

Debsnewbudget

I love those values 
What a fantastic idea

Bluegreen143

Today Red’s brother’s partner died in her sleep (in her 40s so unexpected, though she has been in very poor health due to severe obesity, and it was possibly her heart). He’s been out all day helping his brother, who is in bits about it all.

He just called to say that an engine light has come on in the car and he thinks there’s something up with it. 

I’ve had better days…

KajiKita

Oh heck … that is quite a plateful on a Sunday …. Were you close to your ‘SiL’?
Sending support to Red and his brother and hugs to you x

KK