Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

Moneywhizz

Just delurking to offer a couple of ideas to get your over this period and back onto a better footing. I had a look at your original SOA and there are quite a few categories missing that have probably led to your overspending over the past while. It would be good idea to go over it again carefully and put in everything that you will need to spend money on weekly, monthly, yearly and longer term. That means that you need to consider how much you realistically should be putting  into a separate pot for a new car  ( I think that is at least £200 month), home fund, emergency fund, holidays, presents, and longer term savings. 
Having done a realistic budget for these things you and Red can then split what is left for personal spending money. 
It may not be as much as you have now, but it is still a lot more than you were used to having as a SAHM.

If you use your current savings to top up a few pots that you will need between now and December that will take the pressure off you currently although I would be looking at the minimum that you could manage on. This means that you will need to put the car repair on to your Monzo card, and use the money in your car pot to pay it monthly until December.  The interest on that should be minimal as it will only be on there for a few months. 

In December you can pay off Monzo, then distribute what is rest between your categories. (You might even pay yourself back the money you are using from your own personal savings to make things easier just now.) 

Sorry if it is a bit longwinded, if there is anything that I haven't made clear please ask. 

KeepOnKnitting

That trip to the seaside sounds like a success overall considering it was multi-generational! The demand for a seaside trip and then refusing to get out the car sounds like the sort of thing my mum would do, so just be glad it was your MIL and not your own mum. You got to go rockpooling with the kids instead, winner!

I definitely agree that it is better to keep the car. If a replacement is £4-6k more than your car is worth, then that's £4k that is better spent on your car because you know what is wrong with yours. I've almost never bought a car without having to spend several hundred on repairs over the next few months.

zcrat41

Sounds like you did well surviving the multi generational beach trip - ours always have a problem somewhere along the line even with everyone healthy and on best behaviour!! 

Regarding the car - I do like a bit of the Dave Ramsey method. Short term pain for long term gain - a bit of gazelle intensity etc to make that tricky first year a bit shorter and without touching debt. 

missymoo81

Hey @Bluegreen143 we have an older car which we’re just going to run into the ground we had major problems with it a couple of years ago but now it’s fine and we are grateful to have it now it’s fixed and everything else has just been cheap fixes. It made sense to keep it as you say second hand cars are so expensive. 

Wow you did so well go bite your lip and do all of that on a Friday after a long week, you’re an amazing DIL and wife. Mega brownie points to you. I hope you’ve had a more chilled weekend. You’re such an inspiration with all you achieve. My hat really does go off to you.

Bluegreen143

Thanks all. We have definitely reached the interesting stage where MIL requires extra care and support while we also have young children to deal with! Thankfully my own mum is nearly 25 years younger than MIL, in her mid 50s, and still working in a demanding career, so she’s quite a way away from needing help from us 🤞🏼

Moneywhizz, your comment was very helpful, thank you! 

I’ve liberated £750 from my own accounts and sent to the joint budget. My YNAB pots now look like this:

Savings
Emergency fund £275.94
LISA/pensions £0 (paid this month)
Help to Save £100 (paid this month)
Car replacement £0
Mortgage OPs £0 (ha!)

Bills
Monthly bills all paid, so won’t list out here
Road tax £130.15 (Due Sept)
Car ins £25 (Due Jan)
Boiler service £10 (Due Jan)
Home ins £12.73 (Due Jun)
Amazon Prime £8.64 (Due Jun)

Monthly spending
Groceries £198.02
Chicken supplies £0
Petrol & parking £30
Leisure & entertainment £20
Kids’ pocket money £0
Taxis £0
Misc £0

Pots
Home maintenance £100
Car maintenance £200
Dental/medical £0
Kids’ clothes £71.70
Kids’ uniform £4.73
Home & garden £6.67
Kids’ camps & clubs £0
Holidays & adventures £0
Gifts & celebrations £75
Christmas £160
Kids’ birthdays & parties £70
Kids’ room swap £204.95 This is from the “pocket money” my dad keeps giving them, which is far too much so I set it aside for bigger purchases or experiences. I think their new rooms is a good use for it for now so have moved it all into this category. I wouldn’t feel comfortable using this in our general budget or for debt as it was given to be spent on the kids.
New mattress & bedding £0

Personal
Subscriptions & bills £25
Long weekend away £150
Red’s birthday/Christmas £55
Wedding ring £109.50
Clothes £75
Books & hobbies £50
Socialising £75
Personal gifts £15
Misc £30.64

It all feels a bit healthier and like we may actually have a shot of not putting anything except the car repairs on a CC. 

Oh, I didn’t get round to switching Audible to an annual subscription. I’ve paid this month and I think once we’ve used the credits I have (2) and finished the book the kids are currently listening to from the Audible library, I’ll cancel my account for now. That will be enough audiobooks on hand for a wee while and I can always reinstate it in the new year.

themadvix

Wise move on Audible. Do you have access to BorrowBox through your library? Lots on there for free, including kids’ stuff.

Moneywhizz

Glad to be of help. It might also be that you are eligible for a 0% purchases credit card that you could use in the short term and cancel in December. The temptation would be not to clear it in December when you get your savings money and that wouldn't be a good idea. You really want to be debt free in December and have healthy savings pots going forward. 

Floss

Just a quick thought - are you saving enough for your car insurance? I just renewed mine at £410, for a 5yo Hyundai i10 with full & protected NCD for 2 named drivers. £25/m doesn't feel like a lot...

Bluegreen143

@Floss it’s not £25 p/m - that’s what’s in the pot right now. I had to use £130 of it this month to insure myself on BIL’s car. But YNAB calculates how much you need to put in each month and auto adjusts it. Think it’s £100ish a month now to catch up. It was £500 last year inc breakdown cover so you’re right that £25 would not be enough each month!

Bluegreen143

In non financial news, I’ve had a lovely birthday weekend. 

Yesterday Red got his brother & girlfriend to take the kids for the afternoon and he had got me a white water tubing experience for my birthday. It turned out much scarier than he had assumed and I don’t think we’d do it again, but we had a laugh together and successfully pushed ourselves out of our comfort zones.

We had HM pizza for dinner then lit a fire in our chiminea and had a family night in front of the fire, I also read the first few pages of our gorgeous illustrated version of The Hobbit, which I’m hoping to make a fire night tradition. The seating area next to the chiminea is covered so useable even in the rain and I want to make it a regular Saturday night thing. 

Today (my actual birthday) I got a lovely smoked salmon breakfast board for breakfast in bed, then a big pile of presents, balloons, a handmade paper chain and cards. Red got me a new kitchen knife, mixing bowls, preloved converse trainers, bath salts, new phone charger cables and perfume. He’d taken the kids to buy me a gift at Tesco which always results in delightfully unique choices - I got a soap making kit from Monkey and lovely decorative bath bombs from Bambi (she’s already asked for one for her bath tonight 🤣). 

We then took the kids to a country park for a good walk/play at the playpark. Bambi is going through a tiresome phase of laziness with walking and was frankly spoiling it with her whining, but luckily we came across baby cygnets which put her in a good mood and the rest of the day was better. Total cost £14.80 for ice creams for the kids, cans of juice for Red & I plus we shared a tuna roll and Red had a cake (we had packed a lunch for the kids but we adults were peckish after our walk).

Tonight I’m making chicken risotto. Red would have been happy to make dinner (he’s made me a cake) but I actually fancied cooking - risotto is one of my favourite meals. 

MIL gave me £60 vouchers for my favourite clothes shop and I got £10 from Red’s aunt, which is so sweet! My mum & sister & I aren’t exchanging gifts this year, so it was nice to still feel spoiled by Red and the kids.