Voluntary Child Maintenance for a School Leaver

NorthernGeezer_2

Not sure this is the right place to ask this question but if not and someone could point me in the right direction it would help.

My son has been separated from his ex partner for 15 years and has been paying an agreed voluntary maintenance for that length of time.
My grandson was 16 in November 2023, hasn't been to school for 2 years but has attended a variety of other so called educational courses in that time and was home schooled also.
Now that his school "career" is over, he wont go into further education nor is he able to gain an apprenticeship meaning that the next 2 years is null and void for him.

In all these 15 years his single mother has herself not worked to support her family and has lived on state benefits in all this time.
She believes she knows how to play the system and has come up with the fact that if she says he will be home schooled for the next 2 years, my son still has to pay for the voluntary arrangement.
She has told my son that as long as she registers the boy there's nothing he can do about it, she has indicated on the application form that she will be teaching him how to run his own business as this is the only role she see's for him in the future, the fact she has never run her own business or in fact has never worked doesn't seem to matter.
Any advice or help given would be gratefully recieved.

kimwp

What's the question?

NorthernGeezer_2

The question is does he have to carry on paying, taking into account the fact it's a voluntary arrangement.
He thinks the home schooling thing is a ruse to make him pay, given the fact she has no experience of work or managing a business

elsien

This discussion is a few years old but has some similarities. Because he started homeschooling before he was 16, the presumption is that maintenance  would continue to be payable. 

The suggestion in this thread is that he stops the voluntary arrangements and forces her to go through CMS and then argue the toss. 

It seems his main route would be a challenge that homeschooling  is actually happening - any evidence such as lesson plans etc. 
How quickly, if at all the local authority would follow up on that, who knows?

https://www.dad.info/forum/child-maintenance/maintenance-for-home-schooling/

gwynlas

Why should your son not be paying to support his child until he is at least 18? Whilst the ex partner might be a waste of space who manipulates the system your son and the remainder of your family should be mentoring your grandson and introducing him to other ways of life.
Would it be possible for your grandson to move in with his father?

kimwp

gwynlas said:

Why should your son not be paying to support his child until he is at least 18? Whilst the ex partner might be a waste of space who manipulates the system your son and the remainder of your family should be mentoring your grandson and introducing him to other ways of life.
Would it be possible for your grandson to move in with his father?

I agree with this. I can't help reading questions like these as "what's the soonest I can abandon the child"

NorthernGeezer_2

Elsien............Thanks for the Dad link, it mirrors the situation my son is in, I'll pass on the details.

Gwynlas...............MY son is quite prepared to support HIS son financially for as long as he has to and in fact probably past the age of 18, the issue is his ex partner and the recent purchase of a £500 pedigree dog has tipped him over the edge.
She is very savvy and has used the benefits system to support a lifestyle she cant really afford, my son has always been of the opinion that the money he gave her was used for herself and not the children, he has an 18 year old daughter too.
When the kids needed essentials like clothes, shoes new glasses etc, it was he they turned to, not her.
My grandaughter starts uni in September and he will be supporting her financially for the 3 years she is there............from the mother................NOTHING!!!!!!
Her mum actually told her she couldnt get a full time job over the summer because it would affect HER benefits!!!!!!

KimWP............. Whilst i don't disagree with your comment "what's the soonest I can abandon the child" I feel it's a very blinkered view of a situation you know nothing about.

tacpot12

If I were in this situation, I would be inclined to pay the voluntary maintenace to the child, who is now 16, suggest to the child that they agree with the mother how much they will contribute to living at home. (A figure of about £200 would be reasonable to cover fuel and food - if she is going to provide all meals.)

If she wants to go to the CMS, she can, but this can be challenged as described above. Once it is challenged, your son should stop payments to your grandson, and put the money into a savings account in case the CMS agree to take the case on. Your son will have to pay the money to the mother if the CMS accept that your grandson is still in full-time education.  

 

gwynlas

Really glad that your grand daughter is going to university and that she wants a better life for herself. Hopefully she realises that a summer job would give her life experience as well as extra income over and above what she can expect from her mother.

Might your grandaughter help your grandson to see that he needs to think of the future? He might not be academic but could perhaps start his own business whether it is a practical thing like window cleaning or buying and selling on line?

The fact that ex partner bought a pedigree dog for £500 is neither here nor there it is up to ner benefits provider to question her priorities. Your grandson might benefit from dog ownership and find that is an outlet for his skills.

As usual on this forum posters expect others to know the back story when original poster have not given all the facts

NorthernGeezer_2

For me the problem is the hold the mother has over the kids, she's never in the wrong, the dads the enemy when it was her who left him (another man who lasted 6 weeks), neither sees the futility of spending £500 on a dog when your on benefits when the money would be better spent elsewhere.
My grandaughter has accepted the fact she can't work full time during the holidays and is restricting her earning potential for no other reason than It affects her mothers benefits, she's even staying at home during her uni years for that same reason when my son offered to pay for EVERYTHING if she went to her first choice uni and not accepted an alternative.
My grandson has no money of his own to pay his mother for his keep and I am certain she would hit the roof if my son gave it his son and not to the mother..................all in all, its a right mess!!