Refused breathing space

triskaidemania

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Looking at your SOA your partner doesn't have any income, any reason why?

You have £225 parental support, on top of the  £200  family loan repayment?, are your parents in this country? Do they claim benefits?

Hello,

my Husband was recently made redundant and as a consequence had a mini stroke he is recovering though and has been interviewing left and right. No recourse to public funds.

parental support is for family overseas they do not have benefits unfortunately.

The family loan repayment is for an aunt in America we have been missing payments here and there to be honest 

Thank you for all your messages I really appreciate this 

triskaidemania

ManyWays said:

Your groceries are on the low side - this includes toiletries and cleaning products.
And £50 is way too low for clothes with two children.
The family loan and parental support are quite a lot of your income, could these be reduced?
When does your mortgage fix end and what rate are you paying? 

Yes groceries include nappies milk and toiletries as I still have a 2 yr old.
we previously had a 70/wk budget but that was really a pinch as kids snacks are quite pricey and I noticed we were just eating frozen ultra processed food so I upped this to 500/mo to give us atleast 100/week. I also pack lunch for work.
I do feel I’ve shorthanded my kids with clothing and toys, as my credit cards and loans were nearly 1700/mo  before I found this page. This month of June was the first time I didn’t pay and boy did it feel good I had some money for a proper grocery and bought kids lovely ice cream.

the family loan we honestly have been missing payments here and there.
I could look into lowering these 
I recently remortgaged this Feb from 2.5%pa to a staggering 5.45 for 2 years. 

I prev paid 540pcm for mortgage now 670.

triskaidemania

katsu said:

As your husband had a stroke, can he get any benefits? Cover at least his NI for his future pension and help make the debt clearing easier? 

You've realised before it all went too far. You'll get help here and be able to get this situation sorted. 

Unfortunately he has no recourse to public funds.
when we had two incomes all was well we could pay off our loans which started at 10K when we needed to buy appliances and furniture for our new home.. then we started to consolidate loans with transfer cards every 6mos or so, then 8 mos ago he was made redundant. With all the loans and credit cards at nearly 1700/months I had to start borrowing again to pay off this and that it was a vicious spiral! 

My husband and has had lots of interviews recently although most were unsuccessful due to flexibility issues (can only work fri Sat and sun), he still has more lined up which is reassuring. I just am hoping for the best as it was such a deep and dark 8 months. 

Im absolutely grateFul for finding this group. I was on the brink of just giving up, I felt so drowned and I had two toddlers dependent on me and my husband who was barely making it mentally as well. And im sure it was hard for him not being able to provide financially. 

The first step I did was making that adjusted income and expenditure. Seeing that gave me good direction as to what I wanted to happen and what I could offer my family.
priority bills first us first- what a realization this is! 

triskaidemania

Hello all

don’t know if you could still see this. July was the first time I missed repayments. So far I’ve received lots of letters and hundreds of calls from all my lenders but none have been defaulted yet. There have been collection agencies already contacting me -but still no defaulted notice.

anyway I came back to say that since joining this group and learning from your expertise and experience. I have felt like a massive boulder was lifted off my back and chest! I was so anxious and could barely breathe… the only reason I strived was because of the two young kids (4 & 2) I didn’t want to leave behind.
financial stress can really take you to deep and dark places and it is no joke. It can tear you Apart and I was already there… ready to let it all go away.
but anyway since July I’m happy to say I’ve saved £2000… we’ve stuck to our budget (but bought new school uniforms and shoes for September classes, felt like a treat.
took my kids to the park, museum, a happy meal every now and again… enjoyed ice cream with the kids… and paid for a fresh pair of eyeglasses (my goodness the headaches were instantly relieved). I don’t mean to say that we’re spending above our means…and not taking accountability for our credit. I’m just grateful and sharing that we’re able to “live” again and breathe again (belt is still tightened)… and also
enjoying the simple pleasures that we couldn’t do before becaus everything was so heavy and felt like we were trapped.

it’s a long way to go. I’m waiting for the defaults and hopefully can start repayments.

Thank you for all your help, your time and generosity meant a lot to me and my family. 

2021rdsunshine

Hi. It might take quite a while until you start receiving defaults. It’s taken my creditors about 8 months to default my debts. In the meantime you will have a healthy emergency fund. Don’t feel tempted to contact them, they’ll eventually default. Glad to hear that life has improved for you. I remember quite well my levels of anxiety and stress before starting my journey 11months ago. Wish you all the best x

sourcrates

@triskaidemania .

Anything that you don`t understand, or need clarification on, please come back to this thread and ask.

Some letters are worded in ways to stress you out, yet mean absolutely nothing, so if in doubt, ask.

EssexHebridean

This thread sums up why DFW and the good, solid information to be found here is so important. 

OP I am so pleased you feel so much more in control of things now - looks like you found some quite literal “breathing space”!  Maybe think about starting a Debt Free Diary over on the diaries board to chart your progress? Or better still, ask a board ambassador to move this thread there and continue to post?