Lightbulb moment - but now queries.....

gizmo111

stu12345_2 said:

how does an ex husband tie you to live where you are, im 650 miles from ex wife and the further the better , and we are in the UK 
 the only thing that legally prevents you moving is if you are moving abroad with his children and he has to agree to that.
I originally moved 100 miles from her and had access to my daughter, but it was up to me to do the journey to collect her fortnightly, then I decided I'm moving far south coast , new job, new home, new partner and that was that.

ex wife could not stop me, just meant I saw my daughter less. 

as kids grow up , they start to become "annoyed" with mummy or daddys access rights, soon they will rather spend every weekend with their school friends hanging out and about.

then comes the point where they decide when they want to see you, when they're not too "busy" 

It depends on the circumstances and depending on what the CAO says about the time the children spend with the ex-husband, and what the arrangements etc are now including age of the children and any potential school changes etc. 

Martico

To my eyes, the steps you've taken seem good. It's a shame about the workplace loan, but I don't think there's much way around that. Keep building up an emergency fund while you wait for defaults to happen and good luck

Andyjflet

stu12345_2 said:

how does an ex husband tie you to live where you are, im 650 miles from ex wife and the further the better , and we are in the UK 
 the only thing that legally prevents you moving is if you are moving abroad with his children and he has to agree to that.
I originally moved 100 miles from her and had access to my daughter, but it was up to me to do the journey to collect her fortnightly, then I decided I'm moving far south coast , new job, new home, new partner and that was that.

ex wife could not stop me, just meant I saw my daughter less. 

as kids grow up , they start to become "annoyed" with mummy or daddys access rights, soon they will rather spend every weekend with their school friends hanging out and about.

then comes the point where they decide when they want to see you, when they're not too "busy" 

Not sure that this is particularly helpful to be honest. I would be pleased my ex gave some consideration to me when moving or job opportunities etc. I certainly wouldn't have wanted to see my children less whatever the financial circumstances. 

kimwp

stu12345_2 said:

 just meant I saw my daughter less. 

This made me so sad to read.

stu12345_2

that's what happens when marriage fails, my access rights were mutually agreed with ex, but we also agreed we could both move anywhere, except out the UK 

WYSPECIAL

stu12345_2 said:

that's what happens when marriage fails, my access rights were mutually agreed with ex, but we also agreed we could both move anywhere, except out the UK 

Anyone can move wherever they wish but moving children is another matter and may need the permission of the other parent or a court after looking at all the details.

In this case moving to a new part of the country and having to find a new home, new job and new schools leaving behind friends and support networks,  even if supported by the other parent is unlikely to be the answer.