Difficult boss- am I being unreasonable?

Pineapple88

Someone in my team at work is very difficult and I’m thinking about leaving, but my manager has told me that I need to find a way to work with them. I think I should leave but I’m second guessing myself and don’t want to be unreasonable.

Basically I am a junior person in a team of five (the other four are far more senior than me and are all at the same level). They’re all supposed to give me work but in reality I only get work from two of them (my manager and one other person).  The other person is very difficult to work with- they’re not clear in asking for what they want, can’t stick to a topic whenever you speak to them, have terrible time management and become patronising when you try to ask them to clarify things. 

Things have come to a head with a recent piece of work. They asked me to prepare an order for a customer following a conversation they had with the customer (I wasn’t on the call). The customer had asked for A but they told them they needed B. They asked me to prepare an order for product B which I did and they reviewed it. They then asked me to phone the customer to clarify a few points and following this they told me that the work I had done was wrong and actually the customer needed product A (as they had originally asked for). We wasted loads of time and money preparing product B and they keep telling me that if I was more experienced this wouldn’t have happened. My view is that since I wasn’t on the first call with the customer I couldn’t know what they needed and it’s very difficult as the junior person in the team (with 20 years less experience than this person) to tell them that they’re wrong if they don’t want to listen. 

Anyway following this I did the work again, this time to prepare product A. The senior person took weeks to review it and we missed the deadline they had given to the customer. It was finally ready to go out at 5:50pm one Friday evening. I said I’d finish off the work and send it on Monday since I had plans for that evening (this was the first boundary I had set with them since I started). They told me I had to do it either that day or work on the weekend to get it done. I did it at 11pm on Friday night and got it out. 

The next week they phoned me to tell me well done for getting the work done (I wasn’t looking for praise) but the same day they rang my boss to tell them that I had bad time management, couldn’t be trusted to meet deadlines and they don’t want to give me any more work. 

My boss tells me that this person is more senior than me and therefore I need to do what they want and just find a way to work with them. I feel like their behaviour is unreasonable and like I’m being threatened that if I don’t do what they want they will withhold work. The situation above isn’t a one off and so if I stay I think it will be a constant process of being having to change to work around them- I can’t see them changing. 

I think I’m going to leave but I guess I would feel better to know that I’m not being unreasonable! What would you do? Would you try and make it work or would you leave? 

Any advice/similar stories of difficult bosses would be appreciated 😊

BrassicWoman

When they ask for something, summarise what they have asked for in an email and ask them to confirm it back to you, along with the deadlines you are working to. That will help you both!

oldernonethewiser

As above. Confirm everything you are asked for in writing so that any opportunity for errors or misunderstandings is minimised. 

Don't let work, or people you don't like, dominate your life.

Were you paid overtime/extra for working late?

Marcon

You've obviously already made the (emotional if not actual) decision to leave. Personality clashes happen and it's usually the more junior person who suffers, especially if they have a manager who takes the view they 'need to get on and find a way etc etc' without actually giving any management support or help.

Move on.

willow_loulou

So as suggested I do similar with a particularly inefficient coworker who has in my opinion way to much power. I summarise everything back to them in an email and cc in the main email to cover myself. I print them off and also keep a detailed log of interactions and their failures to follow legal procedures just to cover my back a bit further. 

Im looking for another job but it’s incredibly hard to find one for the hours I can work. I will not leave until I can find something else that fits with my responsibilities and disability bit it’s getting harder and harder to suck it up. It hurts, I work hard and I’m good at what I do. 

So I recommend documenting EVERY SINGLE THING that comes from them and make sure you cover yourself. If and when you do leave if they so much as hint at not giving you a reference go above all their heads with your information and how you were not supported. That’s my plan anyway. I hope it doesn’t come to that for both of us! 

RedfordML

Get another job first before walking away. You feel bad right now but will feel worse if you don’t get another job for a few weeks or months.