Wedding Planning...

CheesyChicken

As someone who works within the wedding industry, the 2 easiest ways to reduce costs are to reduce what you have and/or to do as much yourself.

you will have to pay someone to do the legal bit (registrar or priest etc), but it doesn’t have to be done on the same day or be part of the rest of the celebrations. Is there a family member/friend who can do a non-legal “nice” ceremony (or even just the couple themselves with no officiant) and just go to the registry office for the cheapest no-frills legal bit?

in season flowers will be cheaper than those needed to be imported, and cheaper still if you can grow your own. If she wants a rustic barn-feel wedding a bunch picked from your garden and tied with a ribbon/raffia/twine can look stunning 

in terms of food - do you really want a 3-course meal, or would 2 suffice?
a bottle of wine or 2 per table will be cheaper than an open bar
if they want a tiered cake for the cutting, consider maybe serving it as dessert - less waste as you know how many portions will get eaten. Maybe to be served with cream and berries to make it more puddingy?
a professionally made cake is likely to set you back in excess of £500 for that number of guests - is there someone you know who could make it for you?

most photographers will have various packages varying in price depending on how long they are there for - maybe just hire them for the minimum time to get a few really nice pictures to display afterwards and get family and friends to take the more candid shots - you can set up an online album with a qr code displayed on each table for people to upload their shots to.

Cathygpie

Thank you soo much. And so lovely to hear you are a newbie. 
I came to this site when we were made bankrupt by a finance company...28yrs ago.
Fortunately we recovered but now feel like a newbie again, a bit slow negotiating the forum layouts !!

She has now booked the city museum for wedding and reception, no separate registry office now, which make the logistics easier.

Whilst that has been progress, I was surprised to find that I have politely told to "now back off".  Appreciate it is their wedding but I have been told I am interfering because I asked which 4-6 family friends might be invited. 

Not surprisingly, I am upset and I don't feel I can offer any of the wisdom from all you helpful lovely people. We have made our financial contribution,   we don't expect any favours, because of this but feeling excluded already.

Daughter lives locally and I have suggested a weekly catch up with things, instead of every conversation being vague wedding discussions.  We have offered our time, if needed. 

It's all about relationships....

Cathygpie

When I can figure it out, I probably need to shuffle off and create a separate MOTHER OF THE BRIDE thread. I am finding the lack of communication, drip feeding information stressful.