A Dream Worth Dreaming?

South_coast

I think subconsciously you may have felt that way for a while. I went back and re-read your page 1 (as I thought you were single, so wondered where I had got that idea from) and you refer to yourself as single a couple of times. Anyway, onwards and upwards....

Watty1

A new chapter, a new life.  Lots of us here have made that and it can work out very well indeed.

beanielou

A new chapter in the story of life. 

fjireland

Thank you all for your kind words

fjireland

South_coast said:

I think subconsciously you may have felt that way for a while. I went back and re-read your page 1 (as I thought you were single, so wondered where I had got that idea from) and you refer to yourself as single a couple of times. Anyway, onwards and upwards....

I really have ;( …. The honest truth - In late 2018, we decided to break up … drifted back together in early 2019… by late 2019, I borrowed his laptop and discovered he was unfaithful … by March 2020, I told him what I had found, threw him out and then lockdown and corona came - we drifted back together again … but from late 2019, I knew I was on my own and that’s what spurred the excessive working and mortgage free obsession for me … 

I’ll keep on my mortgage free journey - and it will be a new chapter on my own fully - but I guess I’ve been on my own for a long time mentally if not physically 

savingholmes

When I got divorced it was partly because I realised how alone and lonely I felt within a relationship. I therefore haven't missed him except for having to pay for DIY type things he might have eventually done if I nagged and nagged. So not really much at all... 

Hopefully over time it will feel like a release and freedom and opportunity to explore alternatives which may or may not include a significant other and still be valid.

fjireland

Thank you  

I think it’s better to be alone and totally independent than feeling used and trapped in something going nowhere 

savingholmes

I related to this too.

LadyWithAPlan

fjireland said:

Thank you  

I think it’s better to be alone and totally independent than feeling used and trapped in something going nowhere 

Absolutely Why waste your time/life and theirs. Not sure why you have to wait til Dec to get rid of them from your house... cant they go travelling or shock pay for their own roof over their head, this delay is not healthy

fjireland

Thank you all for your encouragement…

I have realised over time, I’m such a people pleaser that I let him pretty much walk all over me - I let him stay until Dec probably because I was scared to make it final too

But he’s gone, and it finally feels like home again 

It’s been therapeutic getting the locks changed in case he ever dreamt of coming back 

It was a tough year - bit like ripping a plaster off and God knows I did it slowly (and I made it harder for myself in ways and in other ways I have kind of given myself time to accept it’s over)

So I managed to hit the target I set this year - just slightly under 140k now at 139 odd k

It feels good to still be on the journey and be making progress 

I have started renovating bits and pieces around the place slowly so it is feeling ‘new’, homely and a new start physically and mentally 

I think it is lonely this time of year especially - even if it wasn’t the best relationship etc- but I’m kind of excited for next year now and continuing to be on the journey to mortgage free and keep working on my personal life/getting more balance back 

I have set myself a more breathable target for next year - 6k op and 10k off the mortgage overall so I can keep going with some renovations 

Happy Christmas 🎄 to you all  

Thank you for the advice/support a long my journey to date