From Frugal Foundations to Fortified Family Future

themadvix

Greying_Pilgrim said:

Thank you for your kind comment.  I don't think LG realises (who does when they're a kid?) the amount that we have done together this holiday.  I think what we've achieved - and, again, no kiddo is likely to realise the value of this at the time - is some form of 'consistency'.  We've managed to do 'something' or 'gone somewhere' most days.  Sure, we've had a couple of 'down' days (and that's no bad thing - we all need a nap now and again), but for the most part, there's been something to do, or see, or someone to meet up with, most days.  We've been to old places, but seen new things, been to new places and seen many old things 😂  I realise that 6 weeks of...... doing things, will never, ever have the glamour of 'a week at D1sney', or '2 weeks all inclusive at a beach resort' etc etc.  Those words conjour up fun, happiness, wall-to-wall 'stuff', wall-to-wall activities, even if - as an adult - I know that that isn't always the case that these holidays = a good time.  All families are different, and sometimes the headlines don't tell the whole story.   

LG has (sort of) maintained their diary - and at least they will have that to look back on.  But actually, it's the stuff that didn't make it into the diary that will stick with me - LG's little impromptu puppet show, their face when they were given their first 'homemade' ice cream cone, because we'd not been able to buy one that particular day or something.  Their scrambling up a climbing wall-esque item in a play area/gamboling over a balance beam like a gazelle/clambering up towers and climbing frames - all play equipment that has previously scared them, or seen them give up at the first slip.  This has been the summer of 'got it'.  Thankfully I was there to document some of it with my camera - but also sometimes I just watched..........And I think that I've enjoyed the time we've been able to spend with wider blood family, and chosen family (friends).  They have all been choosing to spend time with LG, wanting us to visit, wanting to natter or play with LG.  That's a tremendous thing really - I mean we all have to go to school with people we don't get on with, or work with colleagues with whom we have zero in common, but to be wanted, to be invited, to be 'chosen' to spend time with....... personally I think that's something pretty special, and I'm grateful that we have those type of people in our lives.  

I'm most certainly not anti "two weeks away", I wish we could give LG that too.  But I remember how long (and boring) the summer hols was in my childhood.  Conversely - this summer hols has whizzed.  Our chums said the same this morning.  They've been great company, and we've had activities to look forward to, with them - which has helped enormously I think.  

Greying X

I suspect that the fact you are going away for a few days (and right at the end of the holidays, so it'll be really fresh in LG's mind) will be perfectly sufficient in LG's mind to keep up with the 'School Joneses' - it's a holiday, after all, and some of them will have forgotten their two weeks in the sun that happened right at the beginning of the hols by now. 

I appreciate that everyone is different, but I don't really understand this mindset that seems to be quite prevalent these days (not here, certainly) that if you don't go abroad, it's not a holiday - as a child we had a few holidays abroad (always Canvas holidays type affairs, nothing fancy) - it was far more usual to be in Devon/Cornwall/Northumberland for a week (self-catered) than somewhere foreign (and the only time we went on a plane was to Gibraltar, where we stayed with our parents' friends who had been posted out there with the MOD - a most exotic adventure!). We're lucky (and child-free) to be able to go abroad quite often, but I don't really rate it higher than a holiday in this country - and a resort would be far worse than any holiday here! (Sorry, a bit of a random meander - partly prompted by your mention of 'two-weeks in the sun' and a comment from a colleague yesterday about 'it not being a holiday if you can't afford to get on a plane' (which says it all about so many things!) - just such an alien concept to me!)

Your memories are so precious - it sounds like you have had a wonderful time this summer too, which is so lovely! And I totally understand how nice it is to know that people are choosing to spend time with LG - I got that with my school friends (and their children) and my Niece joining them - and I'm not even the proud parent!

BookWorm

I wish to echo the comments from themadvix.. I think you have had a lovely sounding school hols. In fact when reading along I've sometimes wished I could have joined in! 

Greying_Pilgrim

Dearest tmv, our excursions 'overseas' in my childhood amounted to one, singular day trip to Calais, from Dover, by Hovercraft 😁  In those days, you were allowed to set foot in France for the day, but I don't think we were allowed to leave the city.  I think we were a little underwhelmed, but of course it had been market day - we got there when the vendors were leaving - I remember veg trimmings littering the floor and it smelt quite pungent in the heat.  We were actually glad to be back on the Hovercraft - despite not being able to see a thing because of the spray 😂  I wonder though - how/if I said anything about that at school when we went back in September?  I think I may have done, but I was younger than LG is now, and I wonder - in a class of children who, apart from one, didn't go on holiday abroad - whether my 'adventure' would have held any relevance.  I bet I would have thought that the child who spent a week at their Aunty's farm, near [insert traditional seaside location of choice], had the more interesting deal... 😉🤣

At least now - through the kindness of friends and a tiny bit of planning - LG has (I think) seen the blocky-buster movies of the summer.  They didn't see them the minute the films came out, but I think we've reached 'can keep up with the conversation about X' level 😁 Which is important, but at least we've done it 'affordably'.  And to a certain extent, we're better able to afford a few days away (as long as we don't go recklessly spending our dough), because we've achieved so much without breaking the bank to this point in the holidays.  

You're right, I have enjoyed this holiday.  It's been good to see LG developing (OK, so not every moment has been wonderful, but to a certain extent, that is childhood/growing up, and hopefully they will learn by their mistakes/miss-steps), and I greatly value having the time with LG.  DH and I have worked hard to get to the point where we're a functioning one income household - an income that is tiny compared with many - but much the same as MFW'rs who are deemed 'lucky' by colleagues or family members for being 'mortgage free' - we (on here)  know how much effort really goes into achieving it.  We do miss out on some things, but we're 'sort of' living to our own values and preferences.

I don't know if LG will be in therapy in 20 years time because of us, but that's certainly not our intention.  For example, we've always valued picnics.  We try to make the journey important, and try to make the destination have 'something' to see/do, even if it's a clutch of moorhens or a viaduct or a municipal park.  I was just reading about a charity in a nearby town, that had put on and event (with food) for low-income households this summer.  The premise of the event was a outdoor picnic, to give children experience of eating and having fun outdoors.  There were lots of things to do - volunteers had excelled themselves to make a lovely event for local families.  I loved that the charity had seen the value of a picnic, as a great activity for children and families to participate in.  They had fundraised and made it happen.  I'm so glad that a 'third party' is highlighting the importance of picnics (and everything around it).  It's second nature to us - even if it's only taking our lunch sandwich to a different place - but I know school peers who would believe that it's not a 'meal out' unless you've passed through the drive-thru......  very similar to the 'not a holiday unless you've stepped on a plane' thinking.   

Thank you for all your support here.  It is greatly appreciated.  I'm really looking forward to our time away.  I've started my lists 😉 and I'm sure it will be memory-making, whatever combination of activities we do - or don't do - together.  Spending time together is highly valued in Family Greying - it's something not easy to achieve for many though, I get that.

Greying X

Watty1

I'm loving your holiday adventures, I think LG has had a great time.  It might not have been a holiday in the sun but there has been SO MUCH she can chatter away about.  And you have build memories that you will all treasure of that I am sure.   

Greying_Pilgrim

Good Morning MFW'rs

Well, that's a bit disappointing.  R2 is on, and Scott has just mentioned what people are getting up to today - a 2 week holiday in Spain got mentioned.  I heard LG mutter, "Lucky, getting to go to Spain, we're just stuck here ...".

☹️

Thing is - someone we know has been away to Spain this holiday.  That's the headline LG has held onto - someone they know, went on holiday to Spain.  It was sunny, there was a swimming pool at the hotel, everyone spent much of the time in the pool......  that is all LG has heard, and is - for want of a better word - envious.  However, I have heard the other side of the story; the adult side.  The situation that meant that the intended 'family' holiday didn't include all members.  The searingly hot weather that made doing much, impossible.  The fact the holiday had to go ahead because it was simply to 'keep up with the Joneses' (that was actually mentioned).  The holiday cost alot of money. The fact that participants actually came home ill, and it affected events when they returned - which cost more 'sunk' money in other activity bookings. 

Thing is, the family work very hard for what they have, and they should have enjoyed time in the sun together.  But what LG "heard" - the headlines - and what actually occurred, are completely different experiences.  There is no point in explaining all the things that went wrong for the family to LG, as well as seeming mean and petty, I'm not sure if it would sway LG's opinion that Spain = holiday, anything else doesn't seem to ☹️

Lots to do today.  I've got a bit of shopping to do today.  I added up yesterday's shopping, I spent £30.10 - which has clearly bust the grocery budget for August ☹️ That's a pity, but we've eaten well, had some treats, and still (as yet) not eaten out of the house - in terms of restaurant meals/takeaways etc.  I'm not bragging about that aspect - if we ever come across a takeaway or restaurant that offers lovely veggie food for a fair price, then you can bet we'll be eating there!  As yet, fate is supporting us and we've yet to find that place that would allow me to 'step away from the stove' 🤣

Right, best shift a tail feather.  Work won't do itself.  

Greying X

Watty1

As I read that comment about Spain, I remember when we were younger we went a couple of times to a - I think it was called - a lido - a fab huge outdoor swimming pool.  I just looked it up - it still exists and has been redeveloped but the principle is still the same, there are lots of linked pools, with easy edges like being at a beach, a crazy golf course and the adults can sunbath whilst children play.   For us when we were children it was like "going on a Spanish holiday" because we did all the seaside stuff and on a hot day our parents sunbathed.

Anyway me remembering that made me wonder if there is something like that LG could enjoy.  Her holiday has been excellent with lots to do and see, but, I wondered if something more "similar" to the Spanish holiday could be a fun day out.

Even if it is not for you as a family, next time there is a heatwave I'm going to make an effort to go to one as I don't do the holiday by the pool thing due to the animals, but, I think a few hours at a lido might be really fun, so reading here gave me an idea for me - thank you!

Greying_Pilgrim

Watty - on the Lido vein, when I worked down in South Wales (absolutely before LG was so much as a twinkle), there were lots of swimming pools (covered) and I swam in most of the ones in the area I worked/lived.  But at that time (as far as I know), the Lido at Pontypridd (Ponty), wasn't open?  or certainly was 'showing it's age'.  It's since re-opened, and I've had a hankering to go back to see it/use it!  I've never swam outdoors in the UK - it'd be something of an adventure.  Thanks for mentioning it, as I'd forgotten I'd thought about the Ponty Lido.  

Right, the decision about September's grocery budget has been made.  It's got to be £200 (or less).  I've just done the maths, and we know that there is another big credit card bill coming in next month (sodding 'new' car repairs 😡).  DH is off the HT week in late October, and I had wanted to do something for that week as our time married will have tipped over into a significant milestone...... although I don't suppose it matters, as we've been together longer than we've been apart, so.....

Anyhoo, all to play for!  I WILL start ringing round to get quotes for windows in September.  We have saved enough for something to be changed.  

The cupboards are full of food.  I have the lunch pack snack sorted for back to school.  I can have a good bash at this.  

Greying X

themadvix

Boo to LG's comments about Spain. Maybe it'll be discussed between the children at some point and LG will realise to some extent that it might not have been all it's cracked up to be - you never know what kids will come out with.

I have been meaning to ask about the pounds for panes progress - exciting to be getting quotes at last! I reckon you've got enough to get a fair bit done.

I'll be with you on the £200 budget for September.... I may have already spent nearly a third on next week's Oc@do order! 😬 (Although that is my big shop for the month done then.)

*Forgot to say that you might only have been abroad once as a child (but I have a feeling you were further from ‘abroad’ for ease of getting there), but you got to go on the hovercraft - how exciting!! 

Sunshine_girl2

I think you and LG have done lots of great outings this summer . 

When my DC were young we travelled abroad extensively usually in Europe . On asking them as adults which holidays they enjoyed the most always they say their yearly trip to a Haven site in a friend’s  caravan during the summer break . I have taken my own DGC to a Airbnb this summer , we went to a lovely beach with only ourselves on it . They want to go next year as well . Give it two weeks at school and holidays abroad will be forgotten they will be all talking about Halloween and Christmas. 

Have a great time away . 

KajiKita

Shame about the LG Spain comments and perception ... I suspect you will just have to weather it ... sadly.

I'm also aiming for a frugal September as we STILL have work to do on the paths here and the original budget is consumed ...! <sigh>
(We have all the stone, it's all the other bits like sand, cement, 1/2 inch to dust, grout etc that's needed. Mr KK keeps asking me for 'a bag of will', but I've yet to find a retailer for that ... )  

Squeee! and vicarious excitement for the windows!!  I would be aiming to get most 'bang for my buck' and change the windows where you 'live' the most, such as the living room (or maybe the kitchen - I think you said that is on the North side of the house?) as you'll really feel the effect on your quality of life

KK