Looking for help in the best way of paying off large debts

EssexHebridean

Laplan, I know YNAB works brilliantly for some folk, but in the case of the OP's son a sizeable part of the current issue does seem to be that he isn't budgeting well, or possibly at all. He needs to go from the ground up on this IMO - so starting by learning how budgeting works, and the actual mechanics of it, then living with a manually managed budget for probably a couple of years to get the hang of it, learn the pitfalls, and as  much as anything, to learn how to spot when things are going wrong. Automation can be wonderful, but if you don't know how the background stuff works, when a problem occurs you are then either not going to see it, or you aren't going to know how to fix it if you do - that is where the building block approach of starting things off simple works. 

Once he has got to grips with budgeting with a pen and paper, I completely agree that some form of automation whether a spreadsheet (free!) or YNAB (which comes with a cost after its free trial) might well work well as a time saver for him.

I would add that the OP hasn't been back to the thread since last week I don't believe, so it may be that they feel they have their answers (and I suspect didn't like some of them much) and will now be taking their chosen path without further interaction here. Hopefully the chosen path will work for their son. 

lilmorph

EssexHebridean said:

Laplan, I know YNAB works brilliantly for some folk, but in the case of the OP's son a sizeable part of the current issue does seem to be that he isn't budgeting well, or possibly at all. He needs to go from the ground up on this IMO - so starting by learning how budgeting works, and the actual mechanics of it, then living with a manually managed budget for probably a couple of years to get the hang of it, learn the pitfalls, and as  much as anything, to learn how to spot when things are going wrong. Automation can be wonderful, but if you don't know how the background stuff works, when a problem occurs you are then either not going to see it, or you aren't going to know how to fix it if you do - that is where the building block approach of starting things off simple works. 

Once he has got to grips with budgeting with a pen and paper, I completely agree that some form of automation whether a spreadsheet (free!) or YNAB (which comes with a cost after its free trial) might well work well as a time saver for him.

I would add that the OP hasn't been back to the thread since last week I don't believe, so it may be that they feel they have their answers (and I suspect didn't like some of them much) and will now be taking their chosen path without further interaction here. Hopefully the chosen path will work for their son. 

Just haven't been able to get time between us to chat. It is a busy time at work for both of us, so looking to get this on track this month.

lilmorph

itchyfeet123 said:

I'm just an internet stranger so feel free to disregard, but I don't think your son is being honest about work expenses being the driver/recent challenge to his situation. Is there any chance of drugs, gambling, or similar?

I haven't eliminated that from the equation! Hopefully it won't be, but you are correct about the need to eliminate it.

BFW

I love the fact you want to help your son financially as well. My advice as that 30 something who relied on parents for help....don't. It has left me not able to deal with things myself because I knew they would always be there if I needed. I am now late 30s, plan to have all credit cleared by mid year on my own, because I had to stop myself relying on them. If I borrow money for food/school stuff in emergency it is paid back by bank transfer the second I get money in account.

The best thing you can do is support, advise but don't financially deal with it, at least not until he has proved something. Otherwise he will never learn and it's not the situation you want your grandkids in after you go (not meaning to be morbid but it was that realisation that gave me the kick up butt, I needed to be secure.for my children now)