In a mess and feel desperate. Looking for advice and help please.

ElleWoods

Farmers-wife_2 said:

If you are only using £50 worth of petrol each month, do you really need to be spending almost £100 each month keeping a car on the road? 
This could be a huge saving!

Thanks @Farmers-wife_2, I've thought about getting rid of the car before now but I worry I wouldn't be able to get to my elderly parent who's in their 80s in an emergency. I also use it to get to work as where I work is a bit off the beaten track and would take me at least 1.5 hours to get to/from by public transport. Not only that but I'm autistic and detest public transport for a variety of reasons, mainly the people/crowds. So the answer to your suggestino is I don't know. Maybe I could get rid of it but I'm in my early 50s and have had a car since I was 27/28, and I worry that if I get rid of it I'll never be able to afford to buy one ever again and I'll just become really isolated. Not sure. Something to think about though.

ElleWoods

enthusiasticsaver said:

Can you do away with the takeaway and clothes for teen? Some student accounts offer cinema vouchers so is it possible for your teen to take advantage of that? Can you  reduce the presents budget (although you have no savings so presumably you are not putting that aside?) Same goes for car maintenance which should be sitting in savings. 
 

Sorry @enthusiasticsaver, just realised I didn't answer this bit. I aim to save a bit each month towards things like car costs, Christmas presents etc so I have enough when the time comes, but I haven't saved as much this year due to the increase in outgoings due to rise in other costs like utility payments etc. I had several hundred in savings for my car but I've just paid my car insurance last month, so that account now only has £7 in it so I didn't count it in my budget.

He's still growing so needs clothes/shoes as and when required. We both hate shopping so only do it when necessary. He has a normal bank account not a student one, so no vouchers but he pays for his own cinema out of his wages.  

RAS

To be brutal, and knowing a number of cases where this has happened, your teen needs to stay in college until they are 19+ if humanly possible.

CB remains payable until a "child" in full time non- advanced education reaches the age of 20, and the right to CM continues whilst you receive CB. 

There are rules about the last date the child can register on the eligible course, I think it has to be before their 19th birthday.

That would give you another year or so on your current budget and it mean that professional course has ended. What is that for, out of curiosity?

Do double check this as someone who doesn't register before that time has to take out a student loan to cover the fees for a non- advanced course..

enthusiasticsaver

ElleWoods said:

enthusiasticsaver said:

How have you been meeting the shortfall as the deficit shows as over £100 per month?  Well done on resisting building credit card debt back up again though as that is usually the pitfall of debt consolidation.  

Presumably in a years time you will get £130 back as your course will be paid off? 

Your teenager will need to either cut back on food or be creative on filling up as £355 is quite a lot on groceries for 2 people.  Shielding them from your financial woes does him or her no good in the long run as learning to live within a budget is a lifeskill which is particularly important for young adults.  You do not want them to follow the same path.  Are you using budget supermarkets and batch cooking/menu planning?  Can you do away with the takeaway and clothes for teen? Some student accounts offer cinema vouchers so is it possible for your teen to take advantage of that? Can you  reduce the presents budget (although you have no savings so presumably you are not putting that aside?) Same goes for car maintenance which should be sitting in savings.  Do you really need the microsoft office, amazon prime and netflix or can you do away with some or even all of them.

Can you increase your working hours or can your teen take on evening or weekend work?  Both my daughters worked from 16 whilst still in education and things like clothes and phones was their responsibility to pay.  It really taught them the value of the work ethic and how to be careful with money and as a consequence as adults they are very good at managing their finances now. If you are losing income due to your child reaching maturity then encouraging them to start to achieve financial independence like making them pay for their own clothes or contributing to the food budget if they are big eaters is worth doing. 

Given you cannot meet monthly repayments on the loan but your situation is not dire enough to need a DMP I think I would be tempted to follow your plan of moving the loan to the 0% credit cards and set repayments to just above minimums to get your budget back on track. Assess again in a years time when you know your new income and the course loan is finished. Given you only earn just over £1000 a month it seems harsh to charge you over 10% of your salary on a course.  Why was that needed and will it lead to an increase in pay? 

Hi @enthusiasticsaver, thanks for commenting. I've been meeting the shortfall with the overdraft, although I get that the figures don't quite add up but that's why I'm overdrawn each month. Yes, the course will be paid off in just under a year and I'll be £130 better off each month. To answer your last question first, the course isn't connected with my current role. I wanted to train to get a better job and I did the course a year ago but haven't yet secured a better role although I keep applying. I've already increased my hours at my current job but there are no more available. 

The groceries cost includes food, cleaning stuff, cat food/litter, and the cost of an annual delivery pass divided by 12. I shop online as I struggle to do a big shop in a supermarket as I experience autistic sensory overwhelm from the lights, sounds and people. Meal planning is a great idea, thanks. I've done it before and it worked but didn't keep it up as I also struggle with executive dysfunction. I know it sounds like I'm making excuses but these conditions are real and have a huge impact on me (and lots of other people). I'll start to meal plan again though, and also get my son involved. He's also neurodivergent and has some food issues which increase the cost of our shop but I'm going to look at ways to get it down. 

My son has a part time job in retail and contributes a bit but I want him to save his money for his own future, although he's aware of the situation and knows he'll need to contribute more once he turns 18/leaves college. 

I get the executive function difficulties as we have ND family members too. Are you claiming DLA? Getting your son involved will help you both. Is it maybe possible to do click and collect which is cheaper than the delivery pass? 

fisher66

Here is a link to a thread in another forum that discusses some cheaper alternatives to paying for Office 365: https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=39&t=41331

fatbelly

RAS said:

To be brutal, and knowing a number of cases where this has happened, your teen needs to stay in college until they are 19+ if humanly possible.

CB remains payable until a "child" in full time non- advanced education reaches the age of 20, and the right to CM continues whilst you receive CB. 

There are rules about the last date the child can register on the eligible course, I think it has to be before their 19th birthday.

That would give you another year or so on your current budget and it mean that professional course has ended. What is that for, out of curiosity?

Do double check this as someone who doesn't register before that time has to take out a student loan to cover the fees for a non- advanced course..

Good advice

https://www.gov.uk/child-benefit-16-19

Also a ft student is disregarded for council tax so the single person discount will continue

EssexHebridean

I assume you have double checked that you're not entitled to anything more in the way of benefits? Your overall income is quite low, and allowing that you are also supporting a dependent, that may be worth a look. 

I agree that the grocery spend is an easy win to make a financial gain - you can definitely reduce that by a decent chunk with meal planning, shopping from a list, and if you haven't already tried it, the "downshift challenge" where you switch brands for shops own brand, and shops own brand for shops "basic" brand. It can be really useful to help you to narrow down where there are brands that for you are worth paying for (in our house it's washing up liquid - the one made of mild green liquidised fairies - and MrEH's coffee brand of choice) and where in fact the basic option can be just as good. (Lidl's basic tinned chopped tomatoes are a winner for me - they're far thicker and less watery than most of the basic brand options)

Time for the teen to start to fund their own cinema trips too I'm afraid - and probably a good contribution towards non school uniform clothes, too. Might be a good time to encourage them round to the mindset that charity shopping is cool too - sustainable, eco friendly, all the buzz words teens love! if they are working though, even just limited hours, those sorts of responsibilities are definitely in their court now, and as already said, it will be a brilliant learning opportunity for them to begin the learn why budgeting is important. 

I'd say that either Netflix or Prime might form a reasonable part of your entertainment budget, but possibly not both. While on the face of it paying annually - at least on Prime - is a little cheaper, one thing that works for people sometimes is to switch between the two every few months to maximise the amount you have to watch without massively increasing the cost. You might choose to use Prime around this time of year for example, for the other benefits like free Amazon deliveries. 

It appears that you might be double accounting on the question of car insurance - as you say you have paid it upfront from a savings pot, but you are counting it as a monthly expense too - I wonder if separate savings pots might help to keep things clearer for you, I use that approach as I would get horribly confused if my savings for car stuff were in the same pot as my holiday savings, christmas savings etc. it definitely helps to be able to run your eye down a list of accounts and see how much you have in each "pot" at any given time.

On the subject of Christmas - do you have the relevant amount set aside to cover the costs of any food, presents and travel you may need to fund over the festive period? If not, then now would be a great time for you and the teen to sit down and run through what you plan to do to trim your expenditure to fit the available money.

There was an interesting item on the effects of ADHD and similar on admin management on the Martin Lewis podcast lately if you haven't already heard it - at the least it might make you realise how common these sorts of struggles are, and it never does any harm to feel less alone on stuff like that does it! Here's the link to the episode list: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p02pc9xt and it's the one from 1st November you need, I think. (Although they are all worth a listen!)

kimwp

ElleWoods said:

kimwp said:

Hi there.

Some "easy" wins are presents, Microsoft office, Amazon prime and netflix and your food bill. Unless your teen is eating four times a "normal" person, then you can definitely cut your food bill down. Look at whether any food is thrown away, buy cheaper protein such as beans and lentils and cheaper (but just as healthy) veg such as carrots and peas.

Thanks @kimwp, I pay the Amazon Prime annually but I'm going to check when it renews and cancel it. We watch Netflix a lot as we don't go out much but I'm definitely going to re-look at the food bill as I'm sure savings can be made there. 

Fab! I think you can "cancel" Amazon prime by setting it to not renew now so you don't have to wait. It says "are you sure you want to cancel?" As though it's going to cancel your service straight away, but actually it's asking if you don't want to automatically renew. (The last time I did it, anyway).

ElleWoods

RAS said:

To be brutal, and knowing a number of cases where this has happened, your teen needs to stay in college until they are 19+ if humanly possible.

CB remains payable until a "child" in full time non- advanced education reaches the age of 20, and the right to CM continues whilst you receive CB. 

There are rules about the last date the child can register on the eligible course, I think it has to be before their 19th birthday.

That would give you another year or so on your current budget and it mean that professional course has ended. What is that for, out of curiosity?

Do double check this as someone who doesn't register before that time has to take out a student loan to cover the fees for a non- advanced course..

I get what you're saying @RAS, however he'll be leaving college when his course finishes next summer, as there's nothing else he wants to do at college. Much as I'd like to keep the child benefit etc, I can hardly make him stay there doing a random course for the next year or two. 

I don't really want to say what the course I did was for, as together with the other info I've given, it could be quite identifying. Hope you understand. 

ElleWoods

kimwp said:

Fab! I think you can "cancel" Amazon prime by setting it to not renew now so you don't have to wait. It says "are you sure you want to cancel?" As though it's going to cancel your service straight away, but actually it's asking if you don't want to automatically renew. (The last time I did it, anyway).

Brill, thank you @kimwp.