Living on a fixed income in far north

TooMuchSnow

I’ve lurked for a long time before gathering enough courage to start this journal. Today there is too much snow outside, and I’m tired at knitting long johns because needles are tiny and it feels like it’s getting nowhere. Why I’m even doing that? Well, I used to pursue FIRE diligently for a decade. I paid off my debts and my mortgage, and bought an old house with cash. There was a loss in the family, my PTSD flared up and I had to take time off work. But I didn’t get better and I was never able to return to work. I got an accidental, rather ironical FIRE when my pension company put me on medical retirement for a fixed period. It has been continued thrice, and next spring my doctor is going to apply to make it permanent. Can’t recommend losing one’s mental health as a FIRE method, even though it’s effective.

Like you’ve already noticed, I’m not in UK. I live in far north with my husband and two children. I wanted to start a diary here because long lurking period has proven the forums are rather nice, and I hope to keep myself accountable. I have a lot of time, since I can’t work, but not much money.  I used to earn around 3000 euros after taxes, and now I get 1614. I’ve had a hard time adjusting to that.

This month I got my pension 1614 euros and a child benefit, 117 euros. Total income 1731.

-650e for household costs like food, electricity, water. My husband pays similar amount to shared account.
- 191e property tax
- 115e my son’s allergen immunotherapy
- 225e my therapy
- 20e donation for two charity organizations and 30e baking ingredients (= 4 cakes) for a charity raffle
- 400e savings for pipe repair
- 42e hospital fee
- 12e phone
- 38e for two virtual cooking classes. I quite enjoy these, because leaving the house is often difficult to me due my illness.

= 8e.

This is how I ended up with my long john project; couldn’t pay fifty euros for a new pair but I have lots of leftover sock yarn. I get enough to cover my bills, but until I get pipe repair money saved, my budget is very tight. I could cut the charity donation 20e and the cooking classes 38e, but not anything else since I volunteered to bake for local learning disability club this year. That cost isn’t monthly, it’s four times in a year. I hope that writing a diary here will keep me accountable because I have a bad habit of nipping money from my pipe repair fund and I can't keep doing that. Our pipes are 51 years old and must be replaced soon. It’s not emergency yet, but the repair is imminent, and I'm not eligible for a loan.

This week I’m planning to continue ‘The Grave Gate”, a very stupid argument with my ex-FIL. My oldest son passed away two years ago, and it was a major blow to my PTSD. He was only seventeen. I used to visit his grave often, and grew flowers for him on my windowsill until they were big enough to survive on the grave.
Late last summer, I visited his grave again and noticed someone had dug up all my flowers and put them into trash, planting other plants in my container. I found that my ex-FIL had decided the grave needed tending (without seeing it, he was away for whole summer) and ordered a makeover from a florist. I was very emotional and felt hurt, and now I don’t want to visit his grave anymore. I guess I put quite a lot of love into those flowers, since I can’t do anything for my boy. My therapist has encouraged me to take up the issue with my ex-in laws, but it has led nowhere. They probably think they had a wonderful idea, and don’t recognize it was rather rude.
This week I discussed the Grave Gate again, since it keeps bothering me, and my therapist encouraged me to reclaim my flower container. I gathered my courage and came up with a plan of going there, digging up FIL’s plants from my container and replacing them with spruce branches for winter. But today we’ve had unexpected snowfall of seven inches (!) and I have to wait until it melts away. Hopefully on Saturday. I still feel unsure and hurt thinking about it, but it’s my grave, and I can decide what to put in my pots. They are welcome to plant whatever they want elsewhere on the grave, but keep away from my container. The whole thing is just so silly and stupid, but it keeps bothering me.

[Deleted User]

Very interesting beginning to the diary! The far north intrigues me. Are we talking as far as Iceland?

Martico

Interesting indeed. Good luck
(I'm guessing Finland if it's euros)

Mortgage_Minimiser

Wishing you lots of luck on your journey.

I guess Finland also -Ivalo has had a very early snowfall. Beautiful place, was there for Santa 2 years ago X

the_end_of_the_rainbow

I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you. I hope you find the strength to visit your sons grave & reclaim your container. 

TooMuchSnow

Mortgage_minimiser, Martico, Baron_Dale: I’m located in Finland, like you guessed 😊

The_end_of_rainbow: thanks for your kind words. I gathered my courage and managed to reclaim my container. Now I’m waiting to see what ex-FIL does…

November budget was fine. I had some extra money coming in, a tax return and a birthday gift. It was a weight off my shoulders, since there weren't any big bills coming in either, and I could pad my pipe fund with 600e this month. The current total is 1200e and my goal is seven thousand so there is a long way to go.

I was able to purchase a few things I had put on my needs list; new insoles for my autumn shoes, train tickets and a pair of leather gloves with wool lining. Also, I spent thirty euros on delicious takeaway meal. I like chicken curry, but haven't found a trusty recipe yet. I have one for aloo gobi, but Finnish cooking tends to be quite bland (we like our vegetables cooked to death) and the chicken curry I made wasn't tasty at all. There is an Indian lunch restaurant next to my old workplace, and their list is a bit on spicy side. I used to visit them four times a week when I worked, and developed a taste for it.

I spent my birthday money on two new shirts because there was only one left which was fit to be seen in public. Two years ago, I decided that I don't need clothes sewn by people who don't get fair wages for their labour. I restricted my clothes buying to items made in Europe or purchased second hand. It was a learning experience; finding coats was especially hard but now it is much easier when I have found the right manufacturers. Compared to old days, I have less clothes but the quality is much better. The hardest part of experiment was to get used to the price difference. A t-shirt costs 25e, not 2,5e.
I've had bad luck with second hand clothes lately; this year I've bought three items from charity store, but only one of them was in good condition. The first had a hole I didn't notice when I tried it on, the second had unremovable little stains. I need to pay more attention in fitting room!
Shopping second hand is harder now because I’m very overweight. (Courtesy of fifteen months on escitalopram, I never felt full and steadily gained an extra kilo each month. Happy that my current meds don’t do it.) Most nice pieces are too small, and shopping for clothes is no longer fun. Either the clothes make me feel frumpy, don’t fit, or look like I was wearing a tent. I mostly order my clothes online and try to pick nice patterns and colors. If I have to look like I’m wearing a tent, it should be a flattering one!

I’m Eastern Orthodox and the Nativity fast (15 nov – 24 dec) begins on Wednesday. I’m remarkably bad at fasting, and I’m getting tired of confessing the priest I failed again! It usually goes like this: I look at the fridge and find nothing but potatoes – eat a meager meal and don’t feel full – look at my Lutheran family who eat something nice and meaty since they don’t fast – feel hungry – cook non-fast foods for others while trying to live on tomato soup and potatoes – eventual epic failure – bad conscience – have to tell my priest I failed again. He’s always very courteous about it, which makes me feel worse.
I’ve tried to break the pattern by learning to cook vegan. (The cooking classes on my budget). I’ve found some favorite recipes but the problem is that I hate cooking, and cooking three different meals in a day is a stretch. Need to have a chat with husband; either he and the children will eat vegan foods with me, or he will cook meaty meals for them.
Today I’m trying to write down meals for a week, and a shopping list for ingredients.

 

TooMuchSnow

I had an unexpected purchase in December. I had Lasik done a decade ago, and was very pleased with results. I used to be blind like a bat (-9,75) but Lasik fixed it and I could give up my glasses. This autumn I noticed I couldn’t see properly what was happening at stage in a theatre, so I went to have my eyes checked by a doctor. Much to my disappointment, I need glasses again. The checkup, new glasses and sunglasses cost 600€ and I had to take the money from the pipe fund. So the fund is back at 1000€ again.
I’m not happy about it, but I recognize that I can’t skip the glasses, either. Because I’ve had an eye surgery, the law states I can’t have a free eye exam by optician but must pay for much more expensive doctor. Sometimes Finland is such a nanny-state…

January budget looked better than usually, I get a hundred euro rise to my pension due inflation. My therapist is on a holiday and it shows on my budget; 240€ extra after my monthly costs. Of course, my laptop decided it was time to break! Keyboard stopped working. At first I thought there was something wrong with my memory because I kept typing my passwords wrong, but then I realized some keys weren’t working at all. It was much better option than early Alzheimer’s!

I could buy a refurbished laptop from local shop but it would use up all my money for January, and I don’t feel comfortable with that. So I’m typing this with my phone, and I will see if I’m able to live without a laptop. We have a family computer, too, but there is usually long waiting line for it. 

My second son will turn 18 in January, and it feels quite emotional for me because it is a milestone I never reached with my oldest boy. My second boy is intellectually disabled and unable to take care of his own money affairs, so I applied for financial guardianship. Now it looks like the office dealing with these things won’t finish the process in time even though I applied in May, and nobody can access my son’s bank account after his birthday. It means I have to loan him the money for his share of bills every month until I get the guardianship. I’m not sure yet how much it will be or how I wrangle my budget around it, but I’m positive it will work out somehow. The pipe fund won’t see much action before the situation is resolved.

harddays

So sorry to read about losing your son I lost mine at 17btoo. 28 years ago and still very hard . I don't know how yours died mine was cancer but whatever it was it hurts. Try and remember the good times they are always in our thoughts take care xx

weenancyinAmerica

@Toomuchsnow - when you do get your laptop updated (or you can try it on your phone), the Anaheim, California, library let's anyone anywhere in the world access their on-line services, including eBooks and language classes among other things for free. Residents of other countries may sign up for APL online services by visiting anaheim.net/librarycard and then selecting the link for Online Services Card Application for international residents. Several people on this site are already using it. I am president of the Friends of the Library and we help pay for the services.

savingmore

Oh Tx for that weenancy.  Will def look at that, sounds wonderful to have access to may be a different range of books and resources. 

TooMuchSnow

@harddays I’m so sorry for your loss.

@weenancyinAmerica thank you very much for the link! I love reading and having access to new books would be wonderful. I’ll look into it as soon as I get the laptop issue sorted ou.