Strap in - we're going on a trip!

Spendless

DancingTurtle said:

cocalls said:

Yes, I put another post on the forum, and was advised it wasn't the best move to have him pay towards it. What do you think if he was to pay towards other household bills, or my debts though? That might keep things more secure for me and the children.

It's tricky isn't it, looking at your other post several posters were saying why should he pay towards your mortgage but half the bills would only come to just over £200(don't forget council tax will go up as no longer single person as will leccy) which doesn't seem fair as he'll get a free roof over his head. Could he also pay the monthly food bill which would balance things out but he wouldn't be paying rent iyswim?

Thanks cocalls. I got a bit shot down on that other post, so just let it go really, but I still have the same mindset of 'free roof over his head' like you have said. Not many people surely get to live that way, and isn't him paying rent to his parents at the minute, technically contributing towards their mortgage? I don't know. It's a bit complicated. I guess if he wanted to give me a set amount of money per month, he could pay it directly off my credit card or loan. That way he'd be contributing fairly but on the understanding it wasn't directly towards my mortgage. 

Hi, I agree with the others. Don't let him pay towards your mortgage. I'll try and explain what I was told by my solicitor years ago when I bought a house on my own and was wondering what if further down the line I had a boyf move in. My solicitor said that each case is judged on it's own merit, but if my hypothetical boyf had contributed to the mortgage or paid for renovations at the house, then it was possible in the event of a split for them to have a claim on my house.

This comes about in your case because your boyf has discussed giving you £700 to help with the mortgage increase.  You split he drags the case to court and proves that your increased mortgage amount was provided by him and yes he's possibly got a case. It's not that he WILL succeed it's that he MAY.

No, an adult offspring contributing to the family home doesn't act in the same way. For a start it's unlikely to arise as the result of a split. I suppose in theory yes the adult son/daughter could and maybe there's been a case like it, but I suspect very rare and unlikely to succeed because I suspect  a judge would take the view that the adult child is living with parents who raised them and paid for them until they became an adult.

As to what contribution your boyf should make, half of bills plus something else sounds reasonable. I can't remember if I've read your SOA (or if you've done one) but he could pay for the TV packages for example or broadband or groceries as suggested or always pay for an annual family holiday or he could do as you've thought and pay directly to your CC debt though bare in mind that one day that debt will end so what would be your alternative bill then?

SVR is Standard Variable Rate btw. 

_Dolly_Rocker_

Could you draft an agreement of sorts that he confirms he is happy to contribute to other bills as a household and if there is a split in the future he has no claim on the property? 

Might be worth a trip to a solicitor for that for peace of mind.

DancingTurtle

Thanks Spendless. That's really useful and confirms what I think I had in the back of my head. I think him paying down my credit card would be the easiest solution. He could pay the direct debit itself then its very clear that that is exactly what his contribution is covering. I am hoping that by the time that is paid off that we would then be in a different position and looking at buying together.

DancingTurtle

_Dolly_Rocker_ said:

Could you draft an agreement of sorts that he confirms he is happy to contribute to other bills as a household and if there is a split in the future he has no claim on the property? 

Might be worth a trip to a solicitor for that for peace of mind.

Yes, not a bad idea at all. I have a close friend who works in family law and her firm partner specialises in property law, so I may ask them the best way to proceed.

DancingTurtle

A decent weekend this weekend. I went to a Christmas market, but didn't spend anything at all. My partner bought me a Baileys hot chocolate, but other than that we didn't spend a penny. He got us dinner on the way home.

I did buy and wrap some more Christmas presents, and have been researching Black Friday deals with a Xbox for my eldest son. I also got my Student Loan overpayment through - £222, so not to be sniffed at!

My HSBC bank card arrived too so I now need to go and do 5 small transactions (Martin Lewis suggested 5 bananas ha!) so I can make sure I can claim my £125 for taking out the account in time for Christmas.

And my bank switch to Nationwide is scheduled to take place on 29th November (the day after payday), so I'm looking forward to that to earn the other £200!

I also worked out with school that I could pay my son's school trip off at £25/month rather than in one lump sum which has helped enormously.

_Dolly_Rocker_

Yay to the switch offers!!

DancingTurtle

Agh I've not updated in a while. Christmas has run away with me. I have done 99% of my Christmas shopping though without going into any debt or using my overdraft, so I'm glad about that.

Good news

- I completed the bank switch to Nationwide and received the £200 bonus.

- I received my student loan over payment refund of £222

- My Grandad very kindly gave each of my boys £100 for Christmas, but asked me to keep back £80 of it for each boy for fun activities, so we have a little cash to spend over the festive period on the local fayre and events etc

Other news

- I opened the HSBC account but have not yet got the £125 bonus yet. I need to chase this up. I did speak to a lady on their chat service who confirmed I was entitled to it, so am sure it is just delayed.

- I had to spend £325 on fixing my car this month. Eugh.

- I have just applied for Yorkshire Water's Water Support fund. I'm not sure if I am eligible but the application could help reduce my water bill from £58/month to £35/month. Every little helps!
- I also have an absolute stonker of a cold and cannot wait to finish work on Friday.

My plan with the additional money earned this month was  to pay off some debt, but in reality some of it has been absorbed by Christmas and I need to keep the rest back for Jan/Feb time for my car service. Being an adult is so dull.

Spendless

You've certainly got some 'wins' in there. What a great and generous idea of your Grandad.  Please give an update re Yorkshire Water cos I wondered if my son would be eligible, but there's not enough details on their website to see who qualifies. I;m not even sure if it applies to water rates or water meter customers or both. 

Have you considered getting an emergency fund (EF) for things like unexpected car repairs. A lot of people on here start that side by side of paying off debt, so that you build  up  savings  at the same time so when life throws a curveball at you, you have money sitting there to deal with it. Think of it as a lifes accident and emergency account for things that take you by surprise. 

Hope you're better from your cold soon. 

[Deleted User]

This all seems to be progressing in the right direction. Well done! Have a good Christmas!