Stuck in a Rut or Listen to Heart

BumblePA

Hi, 
I am not actually sure why Im posting - Im just feeling a little stretched trying to work out what to do with my life.

Firstly, Im in a fantastic relationship, loving family and have money so we do not struggle.
I am approaching middle age and all my life I have been going for "safe jobs" - employment of jobs I can do very well, often in demand for my skills and brings in a good wage but Im not happy - but its safe, I can always provide for my family and never struggle. 

I have an amazing husband who backs anything i wish to do 100%, he has told me he just wants me to find a job I am happy in no matter what I pick but I dont want him to have to deal with the burden of most of the bills which is why I am hesitating about going with my gut.

But I have always loved design - Graphic design, gift design, events decor design - these are hobbies I do in the very little spare time I get - I run them as businesses, not really putting much effort into them because I know I cant spare the time to commit fully so only take on little jobs but I am good at them and get plenty of recommendations and returning customers but doesnt guarantee a regular wage.
But it makes me happy.

I feel lost, Im realising time is short, I want to spend more time with my family and enjoy my little ones growing up and fed up sitting at a desk from 8-6, often overtime, doing work for people who never gives any sort of thanks, dealing with rude customers shouting at you because other people arent doing their jobs and you are the first face they see and very little chance of progression because it appears to be friends of the managers who are considered over anyone else.


I think I am looking for anyone who might have gone with their gut and followed their passion, designers and giftmakers would be amazing to hear your experiences - I would never just up and leave my job as of yet but the idea was to start the plans in motion, start setting up and committing more time to my ideas.

TELLIT01

What you have outlined is the general difference between working as an employee (overworked and underappreciated) or being self employed (probably still overworked and no guaranteed income).  If finances permit, and your partner is supportive, why not give your own projects more emphasis.  Cut down/stop doing overtime as a start point, if only to improve the work/life balance.

Brie

I have had some absolutely carpy jobs.  I've had some that earned a nice whack but cost me too much in travelling and time.  More recently I've found that if I'm not eager to go to work then I need to change things. 

My last employer did this nicely for me - started with them and after about a month realised it was a big mistake and the job was not what I wanted to do.  But soon after the employer decided to make us all redundant unless we could find another role in the company - which I did moving into something much more suitable.  And then my boss changed and I was being badly bullied, so I asked for a change of role (which I got) and then the employer decided to make us redundant. Moved into yet another role and when the whole scenario repeated another - each one more enjoyable than the last - it made such a difference to my life and to that of my family.  The final round of redundancy came at the right time for me and I've moved into a job I never thought I'd go for but know it's a good fit for 95% of the time.  I know that I'll stick with it for about another year and then step down into a supporting role as I'm going to need more home time head space.

All of which is me saying - some things happen that you have no control over but you need to make them work for you.  And life is too short to be unhappy how you spend most of your day.  That unhappiness will spill over into the rest of your day (& night) and start to spoil relationships and your health.   So I suggest you make a plan to discuss with your OH to see how you can change things better to suit you and the rest of the people in your life.  Probably can't happen over night but even talking it through will help clarify what's the right step for you.

DigSunPap

It is still never too late for you. If you are comfortable with your finances with your husband why feel the need to work over time? This time could be better spent on your graphic design businesses or with your family. Don't become a slave to the system - you have to put you and your own priorities first.

arrows123

I used to work in the corporate environment but it wasn’t for me. I was paid well but it just didn’t fulfil me. I always wanted to have my own business but I didn’t know what in. I went on a company training course which was about ‘personal branding’ and came out of it thinking I have to do something I want to do. Life is short and I could either be one of those people who whinges at work all the time but never has the guts to make the change or do something about it. 

I decided to start a course doing web design in the evenings. I never finished the course. I ended up teaching myself design as I learn best by doing in the evenings whilst doing my full time job. I did some web design for a client who made photo gifts. I realised I now had the design skills to create designs and then print them onto gifts. I had previous retail history so decided to start my own business designing, making and selling gifts online. I did it for six months alongside my full time job then quit my job and went full time. I had reached a point where I knew I could achieve and do more with more time but I had no time to do it in. Quitting was the only option. This was 11 years ago and I haven’t looked back. 

I made half my yearly ft wage in the first 8 week run up to Christmas. It’s been very hard, I work a lot of hours especially in the run up to Christmas, often 14-18 hr days. Selling online has got a lot tougher. I earn good money, but as with any job there’s always the annoying things no one sees or understands. 

I like to try and live a life with no regrets. I knew I would always have that ‘what if’ feeling if I didn’t at least give it a go. I’ll always advocate for people doing their own thing but you have to be sensible do some planning, put the hours in and I’d recommend setting things up alongside your current job so you can test the waters but it seems you’ve already done that. 

I did it all on my own without the support of a partner, your husband sounds wonderful! What are you waiting for.. get on with it… you can do it! Sometimes the grass is greener! Good luck x 

SensibleSarah

I took the leap to self-employed in 2021, after feeling a bit like you - just felt like I was sleepwalking into middle age and beyond rather than being in charge of my own destiny. Difference is that I'm single - so only my income coming into the household. 

My original plan was to freelance in the industry I've worked in for the last 15+ years (can be done fully remote) part time and build up a craft/resin business at the same time with the rest of my time. 
However, there was lots of demand for my freelancing services so I've ended up doing that pretty much full time ever since, with the craft stuff being put on the backburner. I'm not unhappy with the way things have gone so far though - I earn more than I ever have done before as a freelancer and work fewer hours, which gives me a much better work/life balance, lots of flexibility on when I work and when I dont, and I've been very lucky to have excellent clients offering a reliable ongoing income so far. The craft side will come back at some point, even if it's little more than a hobby that makes me happy - which will be absolutely fine with me. I'm not a natural salesperson and have no real desire to be

With the support (financial and emotional) from your husband - I'd definitely say to go for it. You'll always wonder 'what if' if you don't take the leap and you'll have regrets. The great thing is that you know you're great at your job now - so it's a career you can always go back to if things don't work out - but there's no reason to think that they won't.