Family Property

YBR

In my opinion it is best to manage their expectations now, rather than having to deal with something unexpected when already grieving. That possibly depends on your family dynamics not being too different from what I've experienced.

Also there is history in my family of two sisters, one had done all the caring and inherited the family home outright, the other challenged the will claiming undue influence. The two of them spent almost the entire estate in solicitor's fees and drove the executors to despair.

Enufsed

Thank you. 

badmemory

If they don't know when one of you dies with the possibity that one is already in a care home you are leaving them in a nasty situation.  You want them to be able to support one another not be at cross purposes.  You are leaving the resident child open to accusations of what did you do to make them leave it like this.  Especially if there has been a time when you have not been capable.  Did you have this will drawn up by a solicitor as I know mine would have been going no no no.

Universidad

SVaz said:

What happens if the surviving spouse needs a care home?     The LA may well claim deprivation of assets,  given your age and health status when you did this.

Will this be relevant given that the other partner AND the inheriting son all live in that home? AFAIK they can't sell the house out from under any of those people.

badmemory

If one has died & one in a care home & the third under 60 I believe they can enforce a sale or at least a debt on the property..

Silvertabby

badmemory said:

If they don't know when one of you dies with the possibity that one is already in a care home you are leaving them in a nasty situation.  You want them to be able to support one another not be at cross purposes.  You are leaving the resident child open to accusations of what did you do to make them leave it like this.  Especially if there has been a time when you have not been capable.  Did you have this will drawn up by a solicitor as I know mine would have been going no no no.

My parents knew that they both had terminal cancer, but my mum refused to make a Will "because it'll put the mockers on me" - although she made it clear that she wanted the house to be left equally to my sister and myself.  However, she also said that my sister should live in the property for as long as she wanted because it was her home (sis was late 30s at the time) but that she hoped that I should 'help out' with the upkeep of my share of the property because my sister was no good with money.

She died first, and dad DID make a will - but he was so poorly the solicitor had to make a home visit to draw it up.  His will left 100% of the property to my sister "because it was her home and he wanted the peace of mind of knowing that she would have a roof over her head for the rest of her life, and that I was married and had a home of my own".  The solicitor suspected coercion on the part of my sister (he was right) and he did his best to try to get dad to change his mind.  Eventually, because the stress was making him so ill, I stated that I wanted no part of the house and the will, leaving everything to my sister, was literally signed and witnessed while the ambulance was waiting outside to take him to the hospital for the last time.  I offered to be a witness, as a non-beneficiary, but the solicitor insisted on getting a neighbour in to do it.  Still trying to look after my interests, I suppose. 

Although a very stressful time for all of us, a little voice whispered in my ear that I was doing the right thing financially.  The house was in a very poor state of repair (my dad didn't believe in paying someone to do a job that he could bodge himself) and, had I been an equal owner, my sister would have expected me to pay for everything from a new damp course to new bathroom and kitchen to a complete redecoration, on the grounds that "she had no money and it was mum and dad's dying wishes that she should live in the house".  She went bankrupt less than 2 years later and the house was sold at auction for less than £30K (due to it being unmortgageable). 

badmemory

Sometimes we accidentally dodge a bullet.

SVaz

Universidad said:

SVaz said:

What happens if the surviving spouse needs a care home?     The LA may well claim deprivation of assets,  given your age and health status when you did this.

Will this be relevant given that the other partner AND the inheriting son all live in that home? AFAIK they can't sell the house out from under any of those people.

That’s why I specified the SURVIVING spouse needing a care home.   The Son can expect a charge on the property in that case, unless over 60 / otherwise vulnerable. 

Being TIC and protecting half a property is one thing,  the Son gets half the value eventually if the 2nd parent dies without needing care - although if one parent goes into care, the house is disregarded in any case, whether Joint owners or TiC.

Every LA is going to claim DOA in this potential situation.  

Trusts are very risky,  the Son might need means tested benefits at some point,  which he won’t get as a property owner. 

Enufsed

Thank you all again. If I explain my situation in full and the reason I think I should explain this my sons. I really want to be able to leave something to them. 

My husband retired due to his disability (not life limiting), I then spent 10 years working full time in order to support us, clear his debts and pay off the mortgage. I also managed to save a little and pay into a private pension. I finally retired aged 69. We live comfortably but I still have to watch the pennies. 

My son rents 2 rooms in the home. He's self employed and able to do the jobs we can't do, ie. decorating, new fitted kitchen etc. A very handy "handy man"! He's ensured everything is as safe as possible for my husband and also acted as his chauffeur when he had to relinquish his licence in 2014. 

He gives me emotional support, really important as my husband is not an easy man to live with. 

My home is precious to me but not my husband. He's spent our married life borrowing money, remortgaging, bank loans, credit cards, store cards and borrowing off me. He'd declared himself bankrupt around 1991 and I achieved the impossible and managed to keep our home. 

If I died the property would pass to my husband and I could see with no protection in place end up he'd spend the lot and end up sleeping on someone's couch. So sought advice. 

We became tenants in common and new wills were made. 

Now my youngest son will inherit: 

   100% of the property or

    50% + £23,250 (having paid for potential care costs, or

   50% + £0.00 or

    £23,250 + £23,250

The residue of our estate will be divided equally between my two sons. I've written a letter to them both to be read if I'm the first one to go explaining why the home is going to No.2 and not No.1.

Should I give them this letter now so I can answer their questions and then I can stop worrying about any repercussions. I know the boys will be fine but there are other relatives who could step in! 

SVaz

Well that makes perfect sense.  It’s helpful to put very pertinent information at the very beginning of the thread though.
I do think you owe your other Son the truth though,  unless he’s actually said his brother should have the house he will be absolutely blindsided by the will unless the other assets come anywear near the value of a house.   Although if your Husband is as feckless as you say,  he could well sell off anything of value if you go first. 
I can only imagine how my Sister would have felt if she’d been left out of our parents’ wills and hadn’t found out until after our Dad died.
My conscience wouldn’t have allowed me to keep the house, I’d have done a deed of variation to give her half. 

Are your Sons close?  Does the one living at home know all the facts?