MH & CapQuest DCAs: Winding them up?

rbowall

Purely for fun...

I have been receiving letters from these two DCAs regarding a debt belonging to a tenant who lived at the same address years ago (no information known about the person).

A couple of years ago when the letters started coming, I contacted them to tell them the person had moved on and they were wasting their time (from memory the phone operator was quite rude and pushy). In the last few months the letters have started arriving again threatening court action etc. etc.....I'm in no rush to help them out.

I am guessing they have no powers, but how can I wind them up? I'll give you an idea of how I like winding up useless companies:

- Anglian Home Improvements -
Three years ago, I first booked an appointment with a friendly person in Homebase who had an Anglian booth by the exit door. Salesperson called to say they couldn't supply the security door I had requested as I live in a flat which requires a fire-door by law. Fair enough. Except every 3 months since, I receive a call from their call centre, telling me that I need a quote for the door and windows (don't need windows as these are new anyway). Every time they call, I say "yes", and get a follow-up call from the Anglian local branch to arrange a quote. The fun starts when I ask them to load the van with samples of doors and frames and drive 10 miles to come and see me.... I never show up and I can only imagine the frustration when they fall for this time and time again! If only their call centres were less pushy, or they had better CRM (Customer relationship management) software.

- Barclaycard -
Put these people on-hold after telling the I need to get some milk for my tea (actually place the phone next to my PC speakers and start up Windows Media Player!). The record was 11.5 minutes before the person in the call centre hung up (other side of the world incidentally). I think this was after I played a song by Martha Wainright - google her name and you'll find what song I played (can't type the song title in here).

- Any other business correspondence -
Proceed to use their business reply envelope to stuff their trash back to them. Plus any banana peel/fluff/vacuum bag contents/used tissues, depending on how much the company annoys me. Royal Mail need more business anyway :rotfl:

Bear in mind the next target is a debt collection agency :mad:, I want to cause them as much inconvenience/cost as possible within the limits of being at risk from retaliation....
:beer:

fermi

Some amusing ideas here (although this was for telephone sales).

Post Your Telephone Sales Wind Ups Here!

rbowall

Brilliant, I once told a double glazing salesman I live in a cave after five minutes of expressing interest in his products.

He didn't know what to say!

I'm thinking along the lines of writing "come on then, give me your best shot!" on their court action threat letter and sending it back.