Debt free wannabe! Please help no judgement

enthusiasticsaver

It sounds like you do not have a hold over your finances especially if you have done this twice before and remortgaged. Is there anything which contributes to this like gambling, alcohol/drugs or smoking (all big money drainers)? There is help available for these but you do have to own up to the fact you may have a problem.  If it is just uncontrolled spending on random stuff maybe remove card details from websites and unsubscribe from email lists which tempt you to overspend.  Stop spending on credit cards completely and just move to  using a debit card.  You are young and you have a good income so you can get out of this.  The mobile contracts were a massive mistake so remember in the future that clearing debt takes time and there is no quick fix. 

The soa above is incomplete.  Once the mobile contracts are finished you will get a lot of money back.  Is there anything you can sell? 

You need emergency savings so I would start putting money aside for that.  Do you have a car? I would start a debt diary and maybe set yourself a challenge that you do not spend on any non essentials for  a month so you can start to tell the difference between spending on things you need and those you want. So just food and basic toiletries and essential travel to work and limit things like takeaways, meals out etc etc.  Do things like walks or reading books or listen to music to help your mental health. If you are feeling suicidal I recommend you see your GP.  Remember there is no money problem which cannot be sorted. 

As to which debts you sort first I would say we need to see the APRs first but from experience Paypal and very are usually costly and coincidentally they are the smallest so maybe start with them first to stop you feeling so overwhelmed.  You do need to pay more than minimums though.  

kimwp

It sounds like you have more than anxiety. Are you talking to a professional and GP about your feelings?

Sophie8916

enthusiasticsaver said:

It sounds like you do not have a hold over your finances especially if you have done this twice before and remortgaged. Is there anything which contributes to this like gambling, alcohol/drugs or smoking (all big money drainers)? There is help available for these but you do have to own up to the fact you may have a problem.  If it is just uncontrolled spending on random stuff maybe remove card details from websites and unsubscribe from email lists which tempt you to overspend.  Stop spending on credit cards completely and just move to  using a debit card.  You are young and you have a good income so you can get out of this.  The mobile contracts were a massive mistake so remember in the future that clearing debt takes time and there is no quick fix. 

The soa above is incomplete.  Once the mobile contracts are finished you will get a lot of money back.  Is there anything you can sell? 

You need emergency savings so I would start putting money aside for that.  Do you have a car? I would start a debt diary and maybe set yourself a challenge that you do not spend on any non essentials for  a month so you can start to tell the difference between spending on things you need and those you want. So just food and basic toiletries and essential travel to work and limit things like takeaways, meals out etc etc.  Do things like walks or reading books or listen to music to help your mental health. If you are feeling suicidal I recommend you see your GP.  Remember there is no money problem which cannot be sorted. 

As to which debts you sort first I would say we need to see the APRs first but from experience Paypal and very are usually costly and coincidentally they are the smallest so maybe start with them first to stop you feeling so overwhelmed.  You do need to pay more than minimums though.  

Thank you so so much,and indeed to everyone whos sent kind words.

I joined this forum feeling anxious, severely depressed and like there was no hope but now I feel so much more positive about things. 

I am going to cut out non essential spending for a month like you have suggested, looking at my statements the "odd bottle of wine here and there" really does add up! as does the "ill pop to tesco and get a dine in rather than follow my meal plan"

EssexHebridean

Hello Sophie - first up I just want to say I'm sorry you feel as though there is so little hope in your situation - but we can assure you that there is. It's important also to remember that suicide is NEVER an answer - it only creates questions for those who are left. Please do make sure that you seek help and get some proper professional support for that aspect of things - ultimately it is only money, and there are so many other things in your life that are way more important, however it feels right now! 

I'm afraid your position is a classic - and in some ways you have been fortunate. Consolidation without a good thorough working knowledge of the background issues that have caused the debt, and a lot of discipline around budgeting properly to stop debt accruing again pretty much always fails - you've done it in almost the worst way as well, by converting previously unsecured debt into secured - this pushes the debt out of sight and because of that it's all too easy to end up in a worse position. This time round though thankfully you don't have that as an option - so this is your chance to actually put the work in to clear things off and learn the right lessons along the way to stop it happening again. 

The income/expenditure actually explains a lot around the issue - much as you may not think so! You've described it as "your monthly spends" but it isn't is it - others have already pointed out all the things that you're not accounting for.  Your first task is to use either the SOA calculator that you have been pointed to already (link in my signature for ease) or the MSE budget tool and go through line by line to create an actual picture of your budget - remember that even things that come along either every few months (haircut, new clothes needed, buying presents) or annually (a holiday perhaps, insurances) should be budgeted for monthly as this means smoothing your cashflow out through the year and not creating periods of boom and bust, as it were. 

You also ask about disposable income - but at the moment, that's not a thing for you. You need to start out by learning to budget for literally everything. You need a reasonable and proportionate (right now, proportionate to the fact that you are clearing debt too) entertainment spend factored in - so if you want to have a night out with pals once a month, or meet someone for a quick coffee, that is the money you use to cove that. If three weeks into the month, someone says "how about a coffee?" but you've already spent that budget, then your answer needs to be "ah, sorry, I can't this week - how about meeting up in a fortnight though, I'm free on X day?" If you have a holiday planned for next year, start saving for it now - and save for the whole cost too - travel, accommodation, spending money, the lot. Add up the total, divide it by the number of months between now and then, and that is the amount you save each month. 

Your good income is an absolute bonus here - you're already seen how fast it will let you get the debt cleared. Don't be tempted by short cuts though - things like balance transfers to 0% cards are brilliant, but they MUST be accompanied by you cutting up the old card and closing the account, initially, too - once you're properly up to speed with budgeting and savings for things, then a credit card can be a really useful tool, but until then it's best to go "cold turkey" on credit.

You strike me as someone who might well find it useful to create a diary thread over on the Debt free diaries section of the forum - it can be great to help keep you accountable and it will also give you a way of charting your progress. 

Sophie8916

Honestly you’re all amazing on here 😊 

warby68

Hi Sophie, your current level of debt, even including the phones, is not a problem in terms of amount versus your income and declared expenses. 

However, given the history you have described it looks as if you've cleared debt from house equity 3 times (the 3rd is my assumption because you have no equity from selling your property). So its whatever behaviours or problems which lie behind this long entrenched pattern of overspending that need the focus even more. You can easily set up a plan to clear your debt in say 18m but you must be open (not necessarily here but you are welcome to) to yourself and the parties that may be able to help you or it could easily happen again. A first step could be back to the GP with a full history of moods, behaviours etc. Of course your high income may be a relatively new feature and these issues may not be so great, or you may have had specific events which contributed to debt that won't repeat, but, if not, then debt seems to have caused you to remortgage twice and to sell up without retaining your original deposit.

You have great positives in your young age and your income so do not need to be particularly strict with yourself but it all depends what the 'real' issues are and what  you choose to do to address these. Posting here suggests you've well and truly had enough of them.

Good luck

CRANKY40

I agree with EssexH and warby. Do your full SOA and post it on the debt free diaries page so that we can keep you company while you work to become debt free. Are you receiving treatment for anxiety? My GP wanted me to have CBT instead of medication for anxiety but as it happens the painkiller that I was given for a physical condition also works on the anxiety. It's like someone pressed the "off" button. 

You also have the dubious honour of being the first person I've read about to raise money by taking out phone contracts and selling the phones. Good luck. 

enthusiasticsaver

Let me know if you want me to get this thread moved to the diaries section. Loads of others have been in your position and worse so you will get lots of good advice and regular posting often helps you not to feel alone in having a lot of debt to clear. 

The most important thing to remember is consolidation doesn’t work in helping to clear debt. Back to basics means really accounting for every penny especially in the beginning and budgeting for everything. Go through your bank statements to see what you are spending. It will be an eye opener.

Good luck and hopefully we will see you one day on the debt free roll of honour thread. 

As EH says if you really do feel suicidal speak to your GP. 

Sophie8916

enthusiasticsaver said:

Let me know if you want me to get this thread moved to the diaries section. Loads of others have been in your position and worse so you will get lots of good advice and regular posting often helps you not to feel alone in having a lot of debt to clear. 

The most important thing to remember is consolidation doesn’t work in helping to clear debt. Back to basics means really accounting for every penny especially in the beginning and budgeting for everything. Go through your bank statements to see what you are spending. It will be an eye opener.

Good luck and hopefully we will see you one day on the debt free roll of honour thread. 

As EH says if you really do feel suicidal speak to your GP. 

Ah that’s the aim to be on that roll