Stay in job or go back to old

flopsy1973

Hi 
50 with hopefully another 10 yrs of work left and was working in challenging job with unsocial hrs part of time and then 4 yrs ago moved to another department with more regular hrs and less responsibility. This new job is ok work wise but my manager is very knee jerk and creates drama unnecessarily which really winds me up. To the point I go in to work anxious and miserable there is no good atmosphere in the dept. I have the opportunity to go back to my old job but that obviously comes with more responsibility and more unsociable hrs again 
So what do I do ?  I have done the usual chatted with my partner and wrote down list but still unsure so how do you decide then? 
I want to be able to not let her comments and criticism wind me up but how? This affects my mood and sleep at home 
Any ideas or suggestions 

theoretica

Frequently, I think the best answer to such A or B dilemmas is C - which job will put you in a better position for getting a job with neither of the downsides, either in your present company or elsewhere?

How likely is the manager to stay for the next  several years? 

Bobbobbobingalong

flopsy1973 said:

Hi 
50 with hopefully another 10 yrs of work left and was working in challenging job with unsocial hrs part of time and then 4 yrs ago moved to another department with more regular hrs and less responsibility. This new job is ok work wise but my manager is very knee jerk and creates drama unnecessarily which really winds me up. To the point I go in to work anxious and miserable there is no good atmosphere in the dept. I have the opportunity to go back to my old job but that obviously comes with more responsibility and more unsociable hrs again 
So what do I do ?  I have done the usual chatted with my partner and wrote down list but still unsure so how do you decide then? 
I want to be able to not let her comments and criticism wind me up but how? This affects my mood and sleep at home 
Any ideas or suggestions 

Tell her!

Ask for a chat and tell her she is having an effect on you, she may not even understand how she makes you and possibly others feel.

TELLIT01

Unfortunately some people seem to be unable just to let the actions of others, which they can't control, wash over them and effectively ignore them.  My wife had a colleague like that and I dreaded the occasions when we gave her a lift home.  She would be going on and on about a situation which had occurred weeks before but she couldn't let go.  Even if she had spoken to her manager and hadn't got the answer she wanted it was the same.

The OP needs to learn that they can't control the way others act, but can control the way they react. 

StevenB12

Do what ever you personally feel is best as I would assume you already have an incling on what you would like to do. 

I've often found if you become as unhappy as you are at a work place then it is time to move on. Unfortunately if one person can put you off this much, there's nothing to say that If you have a chat with them to solid it, that another person and another won't have the same effect on you down the road.

Could you look elsewhere altogether for a different job, so you're not putting yourself out over hours etc? Or have a chat with old job about reduced responsibilities or if there's any chance of being able to change hours etc? 

flopsy1973

Easy to say control the way I react but how ? 
The manager supposed to move on hopefully in couple of years if she gets the promotion 
She is not people person at all and complaints have been put in about her before and nothing was done 
Was tempted to go back to old job but do I want to lose that work life balance? 

gwynlas

Is it worth sticking it out until your manager moves on, what if she does not get promoted? Would you feel better going back to your old role but setting a time limit on it? No doubt you will have to work beyond 60 or is that when you can take your pension? Some people are okay with working unsocial hours and live around it others like to get into more normal routines.Only you know how it feels to work in this environment day in day out. At 50 you could set yourself goals of building up your pension to give you more choices at retirement or slow down and live frugally in order to manage on less. You might only be half way through your lifespan so are essentially at a crossroad. Sorry more questions than answers but only you can decide.

flopsy1973

I can hopefully retire at 60  have savings so planning that now
Yes I had thught about setting time limit if I went back to the new job maybe 5 yrs
What do you stick to if your undecided ? 

flopsy1973

Any further advice here 

born_again

You left the old role because it was too much & affected work, home life balance. Do you feel that going back to that, that feeling will kick in a lot sooner & make you feel even worse.
Unless as someone else suggested, you use going back (clearly they liked you in the role) to work out either better hours of less responsibility?

Easy to say control the way I react but how ? 

Go for a walk, scream & shout when no one around & get it out of you system. Or there is the simple (easy for me to say) What she causes is her problem. So just get on with your job.
Could you not, given previous role. Have a word with some of the other managers about what is happening & it not being good for the business?

But do talk it out with others, that is the biggest way to get it out of your system.

MalMonroe

flopsy1973 said:

I can hopefully retire at 60  have savings so planning that now
Yes I had thught about setting time limit if I went back to the new job maybe 5 yrs
What do you stick to if your undecided ? 

Hi - but doesn't it seem to you that you are just wishing your life away and putting up and shutting up in the meantime?

Is there any possibility at all that you could look round elsewhere for another job? You are only 50 years old. 
Surely there have to be more jobs somewhere other than these two, neither of which sound very satisfying or satisfactory. 

Seems to me that you deserve better. You don't want either of those jobs and you could do with trying to find something fresh, where you are appreciated. Why not update your CV and have a look around, see what's out there to suit your qualifications, experience and skills?

You could join LinkedIn - I'm on there and they often send me job suggestions - many of them now are working from home posts too, if that would appeal to you.

Where I live the council often advertises for apprentices and today, apprentices can be of any age and gender (otherwise employers would be discriminatory, which isn't allowed). They have lots of opportunities for all kinds of areas of working - engineering, admin, you name it. The pay isn't brilliant while you're learning but you do get paid to learn. And get a qualification at the end.

There are lots of NHS jobs, too, advertised online. All manner of opportunities out there. All you need is your trusty google.

I can't believe that those are the only two jobs available to you. You probably have a wealth of skills and experience that are going to waste. And a change is as good as a rest, or so they say.  

Good luck with whatever you finally decide to do. I hope I've added a bit of food for thought.