Asset Rich, Cash Poor - Me vs £130k debt mountain

[Deleted User]

A £25000 per annum pension income at current values would be considered comfortable by many people.

Your posts seem to be full of anger and blame others and institutions for your financial issues. 

I understand and sympathise with you how hard it is to care and provide for an unwell child but hopefully practical support is available. Your wife has obviously been deeply affected.

I do not understand your reluctance to pursue a DMP approach to your debts. With a realistic budget and, admittedly, a long time frame you could clear your debts by retirement age and leave your pension intact. 

Forget your credit rating. It is highly unlikely you will be able to borrow more in any case with the amount you already owe. Indeed it could even lead to more problems.

You need to take a breath and accept your current position and realise it will take a few years to sort out. This does not rule out enjoying the present whilst securing your future.

You obviously like to be in control and appear to be very angry at having to maybe follow conditions others may set to help you out of the current situation. However in the longer term it will be beneficial.

You need to channel all your energy towards supporting your family and gradually paying down your debt. Do not waste it on anger and looking for quick fixes.

I wish you well and hope you succeed.

SuzeQStan

Hi DS - I’ve just binge read your diary and not fan-grrling but really enjoy your ‘cards on the table making no apologies’ writing style.  It’s a good read.

one minor thought I’ve had looking at your SOA - water bill - me & OH had similar monthly bill to yours of £51 per month on a water meter.  

We tested our toilets for leaks (square of toilet paper in the bowl if it’s not there/dry in morning you have a leak).

We found one was indeed leaking so we bought a £6 diaphragm ring from auction site and now 1 year later our monthly water bill is £29 per month.  Over £20 a month back in our pockets instead of literally
going down the drain.

Obviously I don’t know if you have a leaking toilet but they really can consume the water so wanted to mention it just in case.

one of your earlier posts mentioned about you doing vouchers and surveys - these little savings can & do add up.

wishing you all the best - rooting for you and your family. 😊👍🏻

Contro1

Ah man! You’ve gone for a right ride!… I really hope you’re ok, reading your posts you seem complacent enough.. 

i had the same situation with my ex who we brought my house with years ago so I understand everything you’re going through completely.. 

Honestly man, this way your doing it is going to be harder but rome wasn’t built in a day was it? 

Keep fighting forward my friend, you’ll get yourself sorted.

Nervalslobster

I’ve just read your diary and have a lot of sympathy for you. 

However, your wife is a liability (and I say that as someone who has had a drink problem in the past), and to be brutally honest, if she is already experiencing jaundice and liver pain, she’s well on the way to being terminally ill as a result of alcohol abuse if she doesn’t stop drinking. My friend who experienced similar symptoms was dead at 52. You’re doing her no favours by not making her seek medical attention. 

And the questions that school have asked your son? Trust me, you’re already on their radar as “trouble at home”. Asking your son to lie is not going to help matters. 

DebtSurfer

SuzeQStan said:

Hi DS - I’ve just binge read your diary and not fan-grrling but really enjoy your ‘cards on the table making no apologies’ writing style.  It’s a good read.

one minor thought I’ve had looking at your SOA - water bill - me & OH had similar monthly bill to yours of £51 per month on a water meter.  

We tested our toilets for leaks (square of toilet paper in the bowl if it’s not there/dry in morning you have a leak).

We found one was indeed leaking so we bought a £6 diaphragm ring from auction site and now 1 year later our monthly water bill is £29 per month.  Over £20 a month back in our pockets instead of literally
going down the drain.

Obviously I don’t know if you have a leaking toilet but they really can consume the water so wanted to mention it just in case.

one of your earlier posts mentioned about you doing vouchers and surveys - these little savings can & do add up.

wishing you all the best - rooting for you and your family. 😊👍🏻

Thank you SuzeQStan, for your kind words. 

You know, I'm not actually a sad, or too angry person I may seem to be from these posts. Naturally, there are some people and entities that irk me, but inside me there's no storm -- it is all calm. Exactly due to the ability to speak up about things and not holding it inside (which poisons the souls of those who do hold everything to themselves). This here is an anonymous diary format, so you'd see some of the thoughts no one else would ever know about, brutally honest.

In regards to the water leaks, you got me thinking!

One of my items in plans around the house (these happen when my wife can service herself, come down, cook etc) was to call up a plumber and put right all the 3 toilets in our house. I am using these little balls to keep the bowl clean, already. One toilet squeaky clean from all the limescale. Two to go and getting there fast. 
But most of all, I want to fix the 2-button systems. If I had enough time and energy and less responsibilities, I'd just Bing it carefully and do it. I'm not a natural DIY-er but being an engineer by education, usually can get things working by myself.
But you reminded me that indeed, in 2 out of 3 sometimes there is a leak into the bowl, happening time to time, and one sometimes leak water on the floor (not much, still annoying).
I don't have the bandwidth for fixing it all myself, but if a good month turns up, £150 or so will probably get all the stuff fixed and 2 buttons working as intended on all three. 
They will also change the sink and put a new unified tap in the cloakroom.

After this I will contact the water company and may be able to claim back a historical £250-500 bill for the half-year when I had a leaking tap all day and night.

As Tesco (my fave supermarket) say, "Every little helps". I may be able to save something on the bill.

Cheers, DebtSurfer

DebtSurfer

[Deleted User] said:

A £25000 per annum pension income at current values would be considered comfortable by many people.

Your posts seem to be full of anger and blame others and institutions for your financial issues. 

I understand and sympathise with you how hard it is to care and provide for an unwell child but hopefully practical support is available. Your wife has obviously been deeply affected.

I do not understand your reluctance to pursue a DMP approach to your debts. With a realistic budget and, admittedly, a long time frame you could clear your debts by retirement age and leave your pension intact. 

Forget your credit rating. It is highly unlikely you will be able to borrow more in any case with the amount you already owe. Indeed it could even lead to more problems.

You need to take a breath and accept your current position and realise it will take a few years to sort out. This does not rule out enjoying the present whilst securing your future.

You obviously like to be in control and appear to be very angry at having to maybe follow conditions others may set to help you out of the current situation. However in the longer term it will be beneficial.

You need to channel all your energy towards supporting your family and gradually paying down your debt. Do not waste it on anger and looking for quick fixes.

I wish you well and hope you succeed.

Thank you Baron for your comments.

Yep, £25k annual from my pension when I'm retired, supplemented with £12k or so state pension, might be more than enough for a comfortable retirement -- with no mortgage left, no need for a flashy Audi A8... I use these figures for my pension planning. 
With my projection, having taken £33k, I might have about £350-400k in my pot by retirement time. 
It will be 12 years from now, at that point or earlier I might downsize the house and get another £100k or so. Hopefully enough for my son's Cambridge even, should he choose to go there.

As usually, I try to ask myself why I think this way or that.

My reluctance about the DMP solution comes not just from the credit rating damage it does, but also from all that interest that'll have to be paid during that time, and the massive amount of humble pie it requires. You mentioned "hopefully you'll clean it up by retirement age". That'd be 12 years of Tesco Value life. You're probably right, my calculations show that without "Deus ex machina", All that time, being unable to afford a holiday, a semi-new (3 year old) decent car, a decent phone or computer, wearing second-hand, economising on every aspect of my life.

In about 9 years my son would be thinking of university. Am I to saddle him with the student loan debt, like everyone else does? Is he going to hate his dad for not being able to help him with little joys of youth?

Now if we look at the alternative I'm thinking of, the "Deus ex machina" solution, --  is not really about "taking the sum out of my pension plan" (and letting this stand) -- it's also about putting more back to it, once I'm debt free.

And this is why I thought of selling my Merc now. £12k would kill 20% of my debt, reduce mandatory repayments, enabling me to get a 0% deal and reduce amount going into waste -- now. With this done, and being ready to leave £15k of debt for natural pay-off, I'll just require £33k off my pension pot -- something I may be able to recover later. But that would get me with a quarter of original debt this very year -- and hopefully completely debt free (bar the mortgage) in about 1.5 years. Ultimate goal: whack the mortgage by the time I'm 60 -- failing this, 62.

That amount of humble pie I'm gladly ready to accept. Much easier when you see a clear goal in front of you and it's not a life away.

But 8? 10? 12?? years -- sorry, but there is only one life I've got, and paying off debt until I'm frail, is not how I imagine spending it... I just plainly refuse to accept that this is my destiny.

Happened to me before in my life. When everyone around me went to States through the umbrella (aka "bodyshop") companies offering an H-1B visa, stealing most of their income in return for a hostel type living and some food... I refused to accept that this is my life. Went to the UK instead, accepting a post 3 steps below what I had back there. It paid off eventually, I started getting promoted back to my original level, and paid better as well. 
My mates still worked their backsides off for the US "bodyshops"... 

Hope that clarifies my "reluctance" to go into DMPs.

Summary: Paying down the debt is a noble enterprise, but I just don't wish it to be my only enterprise for the next 12 years.

=== === ===

I reckon, if I use say, £33k, now, but will be able to make higher contributions later to recover the "borrowed" part and who knows, maybe even surpass -- all while being almost, or fully, debt-free -- what's wrong with this?

One thing was indeed said. "There is a chance of getting back to debt AND having reduced your pension pot."
Sure there is. But I tried to describe what I intend to do, so it doesn't happen.

Do you see some sort of catch in my "deus ex machina" plan that I am missing? Then please speak aloud...

DebtSurfer

Contro1 said:

Ah man! You’ve gone for a right ride! … I really hope you’re ok, reading your posts you seem complacent enough. 

i had the same situation with my ex who we brought my house with years ago, so I understand everything you’re going through completely... 

Honestly man, this way you're doing it is going to be harder, but Rome wasn’t built in a day was it? 

Keep fighting forward my friend, you’ll get yourself sorted.

Thank you for your words of unconditional support! It really helps when you get them among the other type of words.

Yup, a bit of rough ride we had, but my "complacence" (rather, just a normal cheerful attitude to life) comes from data analysis, numeric prognoses, and calculations, not from mere dreaming. Granted, I hope God will help to sort this all out, but I'm not going to just sit on my thumbs and wait for salvation...

On the cheerful side, a joke I heard reminds me of exactly this!

"There was a massive flood. Everyone went into the bus, but one True Christian man refused to go: "God will save me". They urged him to go, but he still refused.
The water went up. Streets were flooded. A glider came to his house, and urged him to jump on, but he refused to go: "God will save me".
The water went still up. He went onto the roof. A copter flew to his roof, the pilot urging him to climb up, but he refused to go: "God will save me".
The water went still up. He drowned, of course.

Coming in front of God's Judges, he started to complain. "My Lord,"-- he said, -- "I believed in you more than everything in the world! How could you let me die like that?"
Angry Lord said: "Snivelling Idiot! Who do you think sent you the bus, the glider, and the copter??"

DebtSurfer

On a lighter side of events, a diary record. 

1.
The Volvo had some windscreen wipers which are completely worn. The Dealership wanted like £60 to replace them all.

Not a chance!
There is a company on Amazon called Vipa, with a lot of positive feedback -- they offer different sets of wipers, you just enter your car's make/model. I found the ultimate set -- 2 front ones and a back one -- for less than £23 in total! (After a convenient discount I got by mucking around on the site).
They have arrived today.

Tomorrow I'll get rid of the existing ones and get these on!

2. At the fuel station at my nearest Tesco, the price of diesel has gone significantly down and is now 149.9 p/L!! Petrol is 145.9. On another one close by,  a Texaco, the petrol is 143.9 and the diesel is 151.9.
Good!

3. Asked at work about pay raises. HR lady said these are on pause until company re-fi project is complete.
You know this is great that they delay. If they wait till July, this is when I started working here, I may become eligible for one, having spent a year here!
We'll see.

DebtSurfer

The new wipers are great. Installed them myself.
Starting to drive the Volvo more, trying to imagine myself driving this all the time. It's quite nippy and enjoyable to drive.
One thing though: A/C has some problem. Dealer said "it'd cost you more than £1000 so afraid you'll just have to make do with open windows".
What an anticlimax! Will try the independent garage I used before.

Now concentrate on two things.
1. Get £400 out of my council for the time I was receiving Universal Credit.
2. Sell my older phones -- which are just doing nothing in one of my drawers. Great site -- https://www.sellmymobile.com/phones -- in fact you can get some decent money for it, if everything goes as intended, I'll peddle the current S10 as well, and get myself a used S21 Plus or Ultra off Facebook Marketplace. They are cheap enough already. My target price I'm ready to pounce on, is about £200-220.

Meanwhile, 2 more days until the salary.

All cards are close to being maxed out. Reason: better this than the 39.9% overdraft.
Except the B-card 2, which I don't want to touch as the interest is into space, and am paying off no matter what.
Wouldn't touch wife's NW card as well, but it had to absorb the car insurance, ~£280. Well, better luck next time
Overdraft is currently at -£4500. I had to pay off £800 of previous month's Klarna.
Nevermind, the next month might be better.

4 months until my "Deus ex Machina".
Not gonna sit and wait. Checked various outfits that would buy my Merc. One of them offers about £12,500. That would be a very decent price for a 9-year-old car.
I'd be able then to pounce on the most expensive debt. B-card 2 and wife's Nationwide card probably.
Or alternately, try to pay off as many cards as I can to the level of 74.9% credit utilization -- that would raise my credit score and open the 0% deals with 2.99% fee, or 7.9% with zero fee for 18 months, or even 0% deal with 2.4% fee for 18 months. I'd then transfer the balance and de-toxify my environment.
Because my Waste-o-meter (category containing all interest, fees, and charges) showed £800.79 this month. That's 1/4 of my take-home salary. I really need to hit it hard.

Received the payslip preview, this time it's slightly more than normal. Asked HR about that pay raise she had announced in February and we haven't seen. She answered that there's a "refinance project happening" and until it's over, there will be no reviews.
That is actually good, because in early July it's my anniversary in the company, and I'll become definitely eligible for pay review; if it were now, I'd probably be left out on the grounds of not having spent a year with them. Come on, procrastinate more, and gimme that pay raise

Nevertheless, I am quite in a good mood, listening to the music and about to watch the film. (Free of charge of course )

katsu

Is there no way to make her ineligible for Klarna? Some kind of payment card they can't take? Do Klarma offer self-exclusion like gambling companies? Could you persuade her to ask them to block her if that's possible? 

I really hope your plan works for you and hope you'll keep posting here as you'll get a lot of support and ideas like the toilet check. Who knows what else will come up like that?