I am cursing my self each day to be in a such a mess!

chullbulla

Sorry for starting another post, I am pretty distressed mentally so I thought maybe if I share it here it will help and I will get some advice.

I am 37 years old a qualified accountant ( that's why more shameful for me ) quite deep in debt, when I look back to see how this happen I don't even know why, my total debt is £42k personally plus £19k business cc which is guaranteed personally so will appear on my personal file at some point, hence I consider total debt just shy of £65K ( Interest will be accrued as I am missing payments ) I have stopped payments to all last month so I can get default first then start paying these.

One of the main reasons is that someone owes me more than £35k which I invested with him ( 20% chance of recovery ) remaining debt just accumulated throughout the years.

I am married with one kid, my wife is aware of my debt situation and about me going for default and I have made her aware that I will receive letters calls, etc but does not full picture of the amount of debt as she will panic but as mentioned told her enough which she should know.

I am hardly getting any sleep and all day thinking about why and how I got here and I wish I can go back in time and do things differently, it is impacting my personal life plus work life, currently, when writing this post my eyes are wet which is not great for 37 year old man.

I have a good if not great salary and I am the main breadwinner, I have done my personal SOA, and after all priority costs I have just around £200 a month to pay creditors, I am worried about how I am gonna tell and ask creditors to agree when my debt is £65k, will they accept it or take me to court for CCJ and then charge order etc.

My wife also has some part-time income which covers holidays ( £2k per year), and any insurance like house, car, and home repairs plus she also has some cc debts which we used for home improvement ( only necessary improvement no lavish refurbishment ) but I am confident that these all will be cleared by end of 2024 as these are interest-free and she is paying over £600 a month, then I have the plan to save this £600 a month for next 12 month so we have £7,200 before we can start saving for my daughter education as I don't want her to start on student loan debt and want her a debt free life.
I am expecting to receive around £8k by end of 2025 ( some inheritance ) so that's a total of around £15k I wish that by that time I can do some full and final settlement offering lower to creditors ( 25% of £60K) but don't think that this can happen in two years' time, but I want a fresh start with no debts and have no intention ever to use it at the level I used before.

I don't know how should I stop blaming myself and thinking about this debt all the time and if the above plan can work. 

Sorry for long post.

fatbelly

Well you've got the debt and you've got a plan.

Keep us updated with how it works out.

When I started reading I thought 'IVA' but I can see that you are trying to avoid that and use F&F settlements down the line. 

chullbulla

fatbelly said:

Well you've got the debt and you've got a plan.

Keep us updated with how it works out.

When I started reading I thought 'IVA' but I can see that you are trying to avoid that and use F&F settlements down the line. 

Yes, I cannot afford IVA since I have a house plus the profession I am in.

In your experience or knowledge, will creditors accept such lower payments for large debts? also, is it possible to offer F&F just 2 years after defaults?

Thank you.

fatbelly

Yes to both questions. If your debts get sold to a debt buyer we believe they change hands for around 10p in the £, so there is plenty of room for you to make an offer and them to make a profit.

Having said that, it's not an exact science and some creditors can be awkward.

I understand why you do not want an IVA but for others reading I just note that they are designed for people who have large debts, some surplus income and an asset (like a house) to protect.

emwi

You do not need to save for your child's education. The student 'loan' doesn't work like an ordinary loan. Your daughter will only pay it back in proportion to her earnings. It doesn't come up as a debt when she is considered for a mortgage, etc. It's really a form of tax for people who have gone to university. I suggest you read up about how student loans work before you decide to set aside a considerable amount of money for her education which could be used to free you from debt.

Rob5342

A few thoughts and comments I have after getting myself into £42k of credit card debt:

Don't beat yourself up about the mistakes you made, thats happened and can't be changed now. Instead look forward and focus on how you can deal with your situation. You really do feel better and start to see and to things once you've stuck to a plan and can see it going down.

Tell your wife absolutely everything. It might feel like you are protecting her but really you are denying yourself the support you need.

Debt purchasers buy debts at big discounts as an investment. They expect to recover far less than the debt is worth over a number of years, what you might think is low could be a nice little profit for them.

Concentrate on your own position first, once that is sorted you can think about any help you might want to offer your daugther. That doesn't necessarily have to be her education, it could be something a long way off like money towards a house.

Lots of us here have been in similar situations so don't think you are somehow unique. I used to think I'd made a complete mess of things, worse than anyone else, and not admitting any of it for that reason. Now I've turned things around and really got on top of them, giving people the same advice that I once found hard to accept or believe.    

chullbulla

Thank you all for your support, I hope one day I will be telling my stories to others on this forum, but it is a long way to go.

Rob5342

I'm about 18 months into my DMP, I still have a way to go but I feel completely in control of everything now.

[Deleted User]

Hi
From having a partner who wanted the family to have everything and getting into some serious debt - it would be best for both of you and have a seriously good chat. Please don't keep any thing from her.  Both of you go through your income and expenses and talk about it.  Keeping things like this from her, she may carry on spending - it may mean that thing don't change and could get worse.  There maybe things that she is happy to give up.  Can also have resourceful ideas such as meal planning, only eating out on birthdays and anniversaries. Writing everything down, both will be on the same sheet.  You're a team - she may not be happy about it but at least she knows.  I hope you get your money back from the other person too!

enthusiasticsaver

If you read any threads on here you will know you are not alone and even people working in finance sometimes get themselves in a mess for various reasons.  No need for shame or embarrassment and just know you are dealing with it now. 

I would also second you talking to your wife.  Would she be happy spending £2k on holidays out of her income if she knew you had high debt? 

I would agree that you do not think of your daughters student loan as debt as it is repaid according to what is affordable.  One of my daughters has almost repaid hers and the other is paying almost nothing due to working part time as she has children.  She can just think of it as a tax. It is much more important you deal with your debt but after that is gone focus on saving rather than lifestyle creep. 

Are you willing to publish an soa on here? 

chullbulla

Thank you for all your messages very helpful.

My wife knows about my debt issues and also she is aware we need to cut back and some sacrifices, my point was that I did not inform her and will not inform her total amount of debt, but she knows it is a big enough for me to go the default route.

Also, she stopped me from investing money but I did not listen, so that's another guilt for me.

So we should not go on holiday or anything like going out etc? my daughter is just 6 years old, and I cannot do this to her, unfortunately

Noted on a student loan and it is a valid point.

I am happy to publish my SOA here but do I need to provide only mine or my wife too? as mentioned I am only planning DMP, and I believe I don't need to provide my wife's income and expenses to creditors as well.