work team day - reasonable?

Smithcom

Ditzy_Mitzy said:

I'd bite the bullet and go.  You might consider it a wasted afternoon, but then the alternative would be another wasted - in the grand scheme of things - afternoon sitting at a desk.  You don't want to be there either, so why not pick the more fun of the two things.  You might hate it, you might be entirely indifferent to it or, God forbid, you might actually have a nice time.  Sometimes, in life, it doesn't hurt to say 'yes' to things; I've spent my life saying 'yes' to every invitation and request to do something social that has come my way.  That has backfired on occasion, getting roped into a trip to something best described as an adventure playground for adults springs to mind, but often has not.  I have a good time, in the main, and a full diary.  

Crucially, however, it moves you out of the 'weirdo who doesn't want to do things' camp in the world of office politics.  There is such a camp, and there are those who look down upon its members.  Nobody need be in that camp, since leaving it requires one merely to participate in one or two of the activities that firms inevitably lay on these days.  More to the point, you really don't want to be put in the 'being weird for the sake of being weird' camp, if not going causes conflict with your line manager.  

Getting on at work is often about doing things we do not wish to do.  For some that's tidying the stationery cupboard, for others it's sitting in an overpriced bar you don't want to be in listening to the Regional Sales Director talk about his new BMW.  Both are forms of gamesmanship, but unfortunately gamesmanship is usually necessary.  

An excellent response, with lots of common sense.  One of the best responses that I have seen to a post

I do suspect that the OP had already made their mind up and just wanted some backup.  Hopefully they will rethink.

SC

NBLondon

General_Grant said:

Being in the public sector doesn't make it "tricky" for the employer to pay.  If it is officially agreed that this is in work time, then they should pay - at least for the activity and travel (as a minimum the addiional cost compared with normal travel).  If the before and after food/drinks are optional, then avoid as you normally do.

This....

Yes there are benefits to getting a remote team together and just opting out (without good cause) may have unofficial consequences.  But if it's in work time and at the employer's suggestion, it's at the employers expense.

simongregson

I'd agree with trying to take part... If the employer was paying for the activities/travel. I work in the public sector and I fully appreciate that it is difficult for public sector employers to pay for what might then be seen as a 'jolly' for staff, whatever the teambuilding advantages might be - unfortunately the local and national press love nothing more than reporting on how taxpayer money is being 'wasted' by such things. But that is their problem, not yours, and if they can't pay there is no way they should be putting it on.

TELLIT01

Say you can't afford the extra expense.  You have given your reason - end of conversation.

tightauldgit

Personally I'd tell them a straight no. I think it's outrageous that they expect you to pay to go to work (and lets be clear, a team building event is work). I've attended several of these things for various companies and they've always paid for everything. If your manager doesn't think it's worth paying for then why on earth should you attend it and pay for it?

Mind you I'm very much in the 'being weird for the sake of being weird camp' because I don't believe in bending over for my employers just to make the idiots I worked with/for happy or to avoid rocking the boat. If an employer is taking the !!!!!! they should be called on it, and expecting people to pay for their own away day is firmly in taking the !!!!!! camp for me.  

Having said that it's always the ones who did bend over backwards for their employers who are the first to be shocked when they get made redundant down the line after "giving their all" for the business.  

SpudGunPaul

Smithcom said:

Ditzy_Mitzy said:

I'd bite the bullet and go.  You might consider it a wasted afternoon, but then the alternative would be another wasted - in the grand scheme of things - afternoon sitting at a desk.  You don't want to be there either, so why not pick the more fun of the two things.  You might hate it, you might be entirely indifferent to it or, God forbid, you might actually have a nice time.  Sometimes, in life, it doesn't hurt to say 'yes' to things; I've spent my life saying 'yes' to every invitation and request to do something social that has come my way.  That has backfired on occasion, getting roped into a trip to something best described as an adventure playground for adults springs to mind, but often has not.  I have a good time, in the main, and a full diary.  

Crucially, however, it moves you out of the 'weirdo who doesn't want to do things' camp in the world of office politics.  There is such a camp, and there are those who look down upon its members.  Nobody need be in that camp, since leaving it requires one merely to participate in one or two of the activities that firms inevitably lay on these days.  More to the point, you really don't want to be put in the 'being weird for the sake of being weird' camp, if not going causes conflict with your line manager.  

Getting on at work is often about doing things we do not wish to do.  For some that's tidying the stationery cupboard, for others it's sitting in an overpriced bar you don't want to be in listening to the Regional Sales Director talk about his new BMW.  Both are forms of gamesmanship, but unfortunately gamesmanship is usually necessary.  

An excellent response, with lots of common sense.  One of the best responses that I have seen to a post

I do suspect that the OP had already made their mind up and just wanted some backup.  Hopefully they will rethink.

SC

I must say you have a very similar posting style to @diystarter7

Snuggles

There is absolutely no way I would pay to go to an event organised by my employer in work time. If it's considered necessary for team building or whatever, the employer should pay. I work for the public sector and they do pay for team building days. If this is really just a social get together, it should be happening outside work time, and be entirely optional.

But then I have absolutely no problem with being the office weirdo who can't be doing with this kind of thing. I don't go to work social events because life is short and my time is precious, and I want to spend my own time with family and friends, not work colleagues.

I must admit, when I was younger, I used to feel the need to make excuses. Now I just make a joke of it - if anyone asks, I say "Oh, I would come, but I don't want to", and leave it at that. I may be fortunate in that the people I work with are happy to accept that's the way I am, and it doesn't affect our working relationship. I get on very well with my colleagues, I just don't want to socialise with them, and no one seems to have a problem with that at all. Even if they did have a problem with it, I still wouldn't do it if I didn't want to.

Just say a straight no OP. 

theoretica

Rather than making excuses would you feel able to speak up - and on behalf of all those who might not feel able to.  Say you do not feel it appropriate for work activities to cost people anything or have those who can't afford it miss out or be put in an embarrassing situation.  Maybe invite your union to comment?

Ditzy_Mitzy

theoretica said:

Rather than making excuses would you feel able to speak up - and on behalf of all those who might not feel able to.  Say you do not feel it appropriate for work activities to cost people anything or have those who can't afford it miss out or be put in an embarrassing situation.  Maybe invite your union to comment?

It's not quite from the OP's account, however she implies at one point that the 'away day' activity itself is being paid for by the employer.  Her concerns related to the cost of getting there in the first place and also the potential of having to pay for a restaurant meal afterwards.  The meal, it seems, would be attended by the workers on the 'away day', but would take place off the clock and not count as an official function.  

I'm not sure that an union would have any interest in that.  Most workers, myself included, have socialized with colleagues during non-working hours.  There would be no expectation for the firm to cover that sort of thing.  

Brie

I used to have a colleague that answered every team outing with a flat "No" and no explanation.  If pushed she could cite family obligations (as in "I'd miss my train home and no one would be there to cook dinner").  Basically she wanted to do her job, be friendly in the office and then go home.  No problem with any of that.  It's a bit different now with WFH and needing to do some team bonding on occasion but the answer can still be NO.  

Personally I'd not do it if I had to pay for the privilidge.  If it was a Christmas dinner after hours and I have to kick in a bit that's fine.  But I'd tot up the cost of getting a ride there, buying extra drinks, taxi home and if that seemed too much I'd decline.  Last year is was "Sorry but I'm on holiday then" which was easy.  

For the OP I'd suggest going with "I hope everyone has a great time, and don't worry I'll hold down the fort while you're having your bonding session!!"