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Further advance, without putting wife on deeds.

Hi all,

I'm trying to secure funding for a home extension. Somewhere between 100 to 150k.
I'm currently earning 60% of what I was 9 years ago when I took out the original mortgage so my current lender is reluctant to give me a further advance.
The deeds are in my name only.
There is around 350k equity in the property.
I got married 3 years ago and my wife and I thought that the bank would happily lend against my wife's salary as well as mine. Around 18 months ago my bank said that a joint borrower, sole proprietor mortgage was possible, but now they're refusing. They insist on my wife being on the deeds.
This would appear to incur stamp duty on transfer of equity, a rearranged mortgage fee, valuation fee, fees for the bank having to deal with a solicitor and solicitors fees -  a galling prospect given that I already paid stamp duty when I bought the house.
So the questions are?
1. Does anyone know any way to avoid this?
2. Is it possible for my wife to borrow money using the house as security even if only my name is on the deeds?
3. Are there any mortgage lenders out there that will take my wife's salary into consideration without her being on the deeds?
4. Is my bank trying to pull a fast one by saying they won't take my wife's salary into account?

Any help offered much appreciated. 
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