Being stalked by my close colleague at work for 8 months (Gossip and Rumours)

tevezratman

Hi Guys,

Currently work in IT in team of 4 people

I have only come to realise that I have been stalked by one of my colleagues for a period of 8 months via the web.whatsapp.com platform.

At my workplace, we get allocated shared machines that we can use for personal use (that’s not connected to corporate network). I do recall using a machine many months ago to connect to check my WhatsApp messages, but believe I forgot to logout of the session so it has remained connected ever since. I found some peculiar patterns over these months and assumed that they were just coincidences, for example, hearing a notification on my phone and of my colleagues' machine opposite. This was until one day his headphones were not connected to the machine properly so heard a notification and realised that maybe the WhatsApp session was still connected. I then quickly went to my phone and revoked all devices connected then saw his facial expression change whilst he removed his headphones. I have known this colleague for over 4 years, as he sits directly opposite me, but now I feel violated.

I had all my personal messages between myself and my wife and family. This includes passwords, financial documents and private videos / images.

I also believe he has been sharing this information secretly with colleagues as I have heard sly indirect comments and questions in third person about me in groups. 

diystarter7

Hi
what do you want to happen, IE outcome?
Thanks

sevenhills

Is that stalking? The word does get used quite a lot. Not sure if you are jumping to conclusions. Are you both single and you believe he is attracted to you?

tevezratman

Strangely - I feel my manager knows about it aswell.
 
I really feel like starting a conversation in group when the person is there and say "How do you think it feels like to be stalked". 

JReacher1

This isn’t stalking.  Your colleague should have told you what you had done, so obviously there are issues there but this would not be classed as stalking. 

Use it as a lesson to take better care of your personal data. Don’t use shared work computers to access private messaging apps like WhatsApp or Facebook. 

Emmia

sevenhills said:

Is that stalking? The word does get used quite a lot. Not sure if you are jumping to conclusions. Are you both single and you believe he is attracted to you?

The OP referred to a wife / spouse - so they're presumably not "in the market" for a relationship. 

I think the difficulty is that the original access was created by the OP - the colleague shouldn't have been reading their WhatsApp messages though.

What form do the sly/indirect comments take?

What resolution does the OP want? 

tevezratman

People randomly coming in room and saying just saw your family photos while I am sitting at desk "smiling" it blatantly obvious. Also people refer to the person as a private investigator while smiling Its all very random but I think you all know when someone indirectly talks about you. When the manager knows and colludes aswell is their any hope to resolve this. Its just wrong on all levels to do something like this to someone

warby68

Were they not just dropping giant hints to you about your mistake, without getting directly involved? 

JReacher1

tevezratman said:

People randomly coming in room and saying just saw your family photos while I am sitting at desk "smiling" it blatantly obvious. Also people refer to the person as a private investigator while smiling Its all very random but I think you all know when someone indirectly talks about you. When the manager knows and colludes aswell is their any hope to resolve this. Its just wrong on all levels to do something like this to someone

And it took you eight months of your colleagues saying this for you to notice someone had access to your WhatsApp? Is the obvious question not “how did you see my family photos?”

It seems you must have quite a toxic relationship with your work colleagues so personally if I was you I would consider seeking alternative employment. Doesn’t seem worth staying in this team. 

theoretica

Of course if someone leaves personal information carelessly lying about the person who finds it should return it/let them know and not spread it around.  But 'stalking' seems the wrong word - it seems to have too much agency for the other person than just looking at the messages you carelessly left logged in.  I am not sure what would be a better word - Maybe snooping and gossiping? 

tevezratman

warby68 said:

Were they not just dropping giant hints to you about your mistake, without getting directly involved? 

The question is whether intimate photos were shown around.

If this guy is capable of discussing and spreading rumours - surely he would be able to do something unjust like that.