Deleted

Floss

I only knew 3 grandparents as my mum's dad died before I was born. I'm not sure I learnt a lot from them other than to love the smell of St Bruno & to enjoy cherryade, limeade & cream soda from my grandad or to relish having Yorkshire pudding & gravy before meat & veg from my grandma (dad's parents). All three lived 180+ miles from us as my parents moved for my dad's career in 1966 so we only ever spent time with them on holidays. My other grandma was less relaxed & less child-friendly!

I know my mum's war memories weren't sunshine & smiles - her dad was on active service, her convent school were evacuated and she never talked about it - in later years when choosing library books for her she always stipulated "no wartimebooks". My dad was too young to be called up but his dad was a Bevin boy & went down the local mine.

-taff

Deleted_User said.

What I'm picking up from this is that a lot of people have idyllic memories of growing up in bad times. My mum's London war memories are SO happy (how can that be?). Poverty didn't spoil things in the least. Also, so often after a period of abject poverty fortunes turn and people end up quite well off.

It suggests to me that mums and dads can make bad times wonderful for kids with a bit of imagination? How we perceive our surroundings and environment seems to be far more important than the reality. 

That would not apply to my mother, she definitely grew up in bad times and got beaten nearly every day by one of my grans, who, although I remember her a lovely white heaired old lady, was something of a vicious thing who did things like slam my hand in the car door, burn me with soup and various things like that. And I only know this because my mother was there and remembers what actually happened, not the pain as i remember without the lead up events...

Brambling

I believe for some people childhood memories can be more 'rosy' because they aren't aware of the issues faced by the adults in their lives and as we get older our brains select what memories we keep and they tend be the extreme ones either the good or the bad although anyone talking with elderly relatives know those memories often return as we get older and we learn

We grew up with very little money but looking back 50 years ago i remember knowing not to ask Santa for anything big or expensive but not questioning that my friend who lived a few doors down got a chopper bike or other expensive gifts from him!  

I was born from older parents 45 and 51 so both my grandfathers had died before i was born, one of my grans lived at the end of our road and died when I was 8 the other when I was 13 but she had vascular dementia and so I don't have the same memories my older siblings do of grandparents.   Even though i was only 8 when she died I remember my grannie who lived at the end of the road was loved by her sons and feared by her daughters in law for having a sharp tongue. TBH I was spoilt by her not with money or gifts but as her youngest grandchild born when she was nearly 80 I would go up to her and we would play cards and listen to the radio and drink lemon barley water    She was a strong woman, my grandfather had been a reservist called up at the start of WW1 with his brother, my great uncle died September 1914 and my grandad was taken prisoner and was a PoW who didn't come until 1919.  She did his farm labourer job to keep their tythe cottage with 5 young children, the eldest was 6 and then kept the family together when a fragile husband returned home after 4 years working in salt mines as a PoW raising 9 children.

Indout96

London_1 said:

Sorry for the ramble  

JackieO xxx
(A GtGrandma)

I wish you would write a book, I would buy it.

London_1

Indout96 said:

London_1 said:

Sorry for the ramble  

JackieO xxx
(A GtGrandma)

I wish you would write a book, I would buy it.

Good gracious that's kind but I doubt it would be that interesting , Im really very ordinary honey

JackieO xx

annieb64

We also knew not to ask Santa for anything expensive although we usually got a couple of nice toys. I can remember wooden dolls cradles made by my Father . My aunt made the bedcovers. One grandmother always gave us slippers.  When I look at the amount of toys my grandchildren have- but we were happy and content.  

We had lovely Christmases with all the family. I can remember one aunt giving me sips of her gin and orange- something else that would be frowned upon these days.

diystarter7

Brambling said:

I believe for some people childhood memories can be more 'rosy' because they aren't aware of the issues faced by the adults in their lives and as we get older our brains select what memories we keep and they tend be the extreme ones either the good or the bad although anyone talking with elderly relatives know those memories often return as we get older and we learn

We grew up with very little money but looking back 50 years ago i remember knowing not to ask Santa for anything big or expensive but not questioning that my friend who lived a few doors down got a chopper bike or other expensive gifts from him!  

I was born from older parents 45 and 51 so both my grandfathers had died before i was born, one of my grans lived at the end of our road and died when I was 8 the other when I was 13 but she had vascular dementia and so I don't have the same memories my older siblings do of grandparents.   Even though i was only 8 when she died I remember my grannie who lived at the end of the road was loved by her sons and feared by her daughters in law for having a sharp tongue. TBH I was spoilt by her not with money or gifts but as her youngest grandchild born when she was nearly 80 I would go up to her and we would play cards and listen to the radio and drink lemon barley water    She was a strong woman, my grandfather had been a reservist called up at the start of WW1 with his brother, my great uncle died September 1914 and my grandad was taken prisoner and was a PoW who didn't come until 1919.  She did his farm labourer job to keep their tythe cottage with 5 young children, the eldest was 6 and then kept the family together when a fragile husband returned home after 4 years working in salt mines as a PoW raising 9 children.

Hi

The highlighted bit, how very true and something even I overlooked as I posted here.

Thanks

weenancyinAmerica

London_1 and Scarter - some of the best books are just rambles, but the information imparted is wonderful. I think you should both write at least one book. 

stellata

I never knew my grandparents, they and my parents had a family late in life. As a child in the 60s and 70s, my own parents were dreadful at managing money. They both worked, and bought an house early on with a small inheritance, but it was sold to pay debts. Mum spent wildly all her life, got into terrible debt and blamed it on my dad. After mum died though, Dad lived on nothing a week so it can't have been all his fault. The extent of the problem only became clear when they died, unpaid bills and a house full of tat. Most of my childhood memories are of arguments and rows about money, it just made me determined to do things differently so here I am approaching retirement when hopefully I will have my own home and a small pension which I have saved since I got divorced years ago. Most days I think about mum and dad and I'm just sad they never seemed to enjoy life. Debt is a dreadful thing and I'm very lucky to have escaped it. At least my childhood experiences taught me that. I hope I will be able to pass on some useful skills to my grandchildren and also help them out money wise from time to time.