This debt has got to go before I turn 40!

FloBoJangles

I have started diaries before and let them lapse. This time I am determined. I really want to make some inroads into the debts that I have accumulated and start to build some savings.

I’m a single, divorced mum to two lovely primary school aged children. I work in a reasonable job earning £35k. I own my (mortgaged) home, I never miss a bill or payment and for what it’s worth, I have a good credit rating. However in order to go to work I do have childcare bills but I do receive some help from Universal Credit for these.

I have some debts. Around £1,400 on one credit card, £2,100 on another, and a loan of around £6,500 which I borrowed earlier this year to have some (not entirely essential) work carried out on my home. Ideally I’d like this to be gone as soon as possible so I can start to build up a little nest egg. My bathroom is also in dire need of updating (not just cosmetic). I pay £225 a month off my debt, so this would take 44 months to pay it down fully at this rate. I turn 40 in August 2025 (32 months away), so I'd ideally like to have this gone by then which would mean paying it down by £315 per month instead.

I am quite on top of my spending, in that I document it in a spreadsheet and have done for around 10 years so I have a pretty clear idea of where my money goes. 

My income sits at around £2700 per month (£2120 from work, £140 from Child Maintenance, £140 Child Benefit and approximately £300 from Universal Credit although this increases if my childcare bills are higher). I will add in details of my outgoings later.

Food is a constant issue for me. I hate cooking and feel like I spend a lot on food each month but that the children and I don’t eat a particularly good or varied diet. My children are both fussy so I often find myself cooking multiple meals, which is tiring and expensive. I take my own lunch to work, and the children have packed lunches every day, rather than school meals.

Recently a family member shared some information about their financial situation and I so admired his approach to money. He is a single male, no kids (so I acknowledge his circumstances are quite different to my own) and he lives a very frugal, low-key lifestyle and can go for ages without spending any money. In comparison I feel like I am in a trap of constantly ‘needing’ something from the shop, or the children needing something for school, or it being their friends’ birthdays, or they (or I) just want a treat. It’s rare that more than a day goes by without me spending and I’d really like to change this.

Another friend, who has a partner and probably at least double the household income I do was telling me about how she didn’t buy her children’s school photos the other week, because although they were beautiful, she couldn’t justify the £30 for them. That made me think …. that I HAD bought my children’s photos even though they weren’t that great, because it's just something that I tend to buy. Thoughtless spending. Again different approaches to money. I probably need to give more thought to if I actually need/want certain things.

I’ll be completely honest … I feel like an absolute loser. I feel like I have failed in most aspects of my life (job, financial, debt, friendships, relationships, marriage) but I’m trying my best to claw myself out of the hole and change my attitude to money because I think it will make me feel more positive about life overall. Dealing with my finances is very much within my control.

So I guess this is where I begin really … my line in the sand. I would be happy for anyone to join me along the way if you’d like to and would be especially interested to hear from anyone who earns and/or spends in the same way as me, or has similar personal circumstances.

FloBoJangles

Its been a mixed week.

I took the children to the cinema (using discount codes from a reward platform from my workplace) but had forgotten to buy sweets on the way there. £4.25 a cup! I also realised that I couldn’t park in the free area I was expecting to as it was one of those zoned ‘do not return to this are within 24 hours’ areas so I had to pay £6.80 for parking as I’d already parked there earlier that day. I could have saved £15 had I been more organised! I'm annoyed with myself for throwing money away.

I did however use a nearly expired Halfords gift card earlier in the week to buy the next car booster seat for my youngest son and stocked up with 4 cans of de-icer for the  winter. All free so that was a positive.

I rang the Warm Home Scheme earlier in the week and they have agreed I am entitled to the £150 credit for my bill which is good news!

I filled the car with £80 of fuel yesterday and am hoping that lasts me the whole of December. I’m going to try to work from home in the last week before Christmas as the boys will have finished school and clubs at around £70 per day are just too pricey (plus they don’t particularly enjoy them), so shouldn’t have far to drive. Also have one day’s holiday to squeeze in before the end of the year too which I need to make the most of.

Today was also a No Spend day. My youngest had a birthday party to go to and I’d already bought the gift etc a few weeks ago.

I forgot margarine in the food shop, and need some tin foil. Other than those tiny spends, Monday to Friday is hopefully looking like a fairly frugal week!

MissPennySave

Hi FloBoJangles, just wanted to say hi and show my support!  I'm on my debt free journey as well, I also always buy school photos, even when they are shocking!  The last one I bought doesn't even really look like my son but I still brought it anyway!!

Good luck!  MPS.x

mnkone

Hi @FloBoJangles

Congrats on the new diary, I started mine about a month ago and need to update again today or tomorrow.
Even if you just post for yourself it really helps I find to keep some focus. 

Everyone pays things down differently, but I found getting rid of everything except the one large loan really helped (not by refinancing, just paying the smaller things first). Now currently I am able to pay the standard monthly, still save a bit and treat my daughters and son probably more often that needed. But still within my means. 

I am trying to get rid of the last loan by the time I turn 40 too, which coincidentally is a month after you by the sounds of it. 
Earn similar and have a habit of hemorrhaging money unnecessarily, especially on anything related to school, which I am trying to weigh up more these days.

FloBoJangles

MissPennySave said:

Hi FloBoJangles, just wanted to say hi and show my support!  I'm on my debt free journey as well, I also always buy school photos, even when they are shocking!  The last one I bought doesn't even really look like my son but I still brought it anyway!!

Good luck!  MPS.x

Hello and thank you for calling in! Those school photos are a funny thing aren't they?! They are so posed, they never really seem to look great!

FloBoJangles

mnkone said:

Hi @FloBoJangles

Congrats on the new diary, I started mine about a month ago and need to update again today or tomorrow.
Even if you just post for yourself it really helps I find to keep some focus. 

Everyone pays things down differently, but I found getting rid of everything except the one large loan really helped (not by refinancing, just paying the smaller things first). Now currently I am able to pay the standard monthly, still save a bit and treat my daughters and son probably more often that needed. But still within my means. 

I am trying to get rid of the last loan by the time I turn 40 too, which coincidentally is a month after you by the sounds of it. 
Earn similar and have a habit of hemorrhaging money unnecessarily, especially on anything related to school, which I am trying to weigh up more these days.

Congratulations on starting your diary too mnkone. It sounds like we're definitely in the same boat (and sharing some of the same bad habits!). There's something about writing things down anonymously yet for the world to see that makes it all a little more real. Hopefully for both of us that will mean a little more accountability too.

My debts are split similarly to yours, and I'm also keen to get rid of the smallest credit card first too, just so I can owe to 2 companies rather than 3. It's all psychological isn't it? 

Good luck on your journey too! I'll have a read of your diary too



I've had a look through my average monthly spends so far this year. They are as follows:

Mortgage £493
Council tax £115
Gas/elec £130
Water £39
Life Assurance £12
TV (licence and netflix) £24
Broadband £20
Mobile £7

Car insurance £18
Car tax £14
Fuel £120
Parking/travel £10
Car servicing £78

Childcare £426

Debt £226

Groceries £314
Household products £40

Home furnishings/improvements £124

Family days out £40

School lunches £12
Pocket money £20
Uniform £14
Children clothes £22
Children hair £10
Children treats £65
School expenses £15

My hair cuts £25
My hair/beauty £62
My clothes £30
My entertainment £35

Seasonal £20
Christmas £33
Birthdays £50

Cat £18

Total £2663 (versus my income of around £2700 per month)
 

 

FloBoJangles

I’m really pleased to say I have been fairly good at the no-spend days so far this month, especially considering it is almost Christmas. I am pretty sure I have completed my Christmas shopping too, apart from a couple of little bits and pieces. Must remember to buy the pigs in blankets too as that’s my usual contribution to Christmas dinner round at my mum and dad’s house.

I get paid early this month (the 23rd rather than the 28th) which is both a blessing and curse – it does make January a very long month! I might try to put my salary into my savings, and then ‘pay’ myself on the 28th instead to make it feel more like a normal month.

I had my works xmas do earlier this month which I had anticipated to be an expensive night, but luckily I didn’t have to buy any drinks as they were provided on our tables and it only cost me £10 for my taxi home. Bargain. And I doubt I’ll be going anyway for NYE, which should save some money.

Also my ex-husband has decided he is having the children for the week between Christmas and New Year. Although I will miss them I am hoping that means I will spend less month on festive activities, and it does also give me a week just to collect my thoughts and re-focus for the new year. It's so hard at this time of year not to fall into the trap of feeling the need to do ALL the festive activities and events ... seeing Santa, light displays, Christmas markets, parties, ferris wheels and carousels, and all the added extra costs they bring about.

Unfortunately in the New Year my car service and MOT is due which will probably cost a little since my car is now definitely aging (2012 reg) so that’s something to try to plan for.

enthusiasticsaver

You seem to be quite  on top of your spending and the breakdown of expenses fairly comprehensive.  Although you do have debt it is not unsurmountable.  Is it possible to reduce that home furnishings etc to over pay the debt and get rid of it faster?  Are you paying interest on the credit cards? Well done on the NSDs too.  

I think moving your salary and only paying it in on payday is a good idea.  Otherwise January will be a long month.  Do you have any emergency savings and do you save for things like Christmas, Car expenses and Childrens Expenses? Obviously if your service/mot is due January then it is a bit late for this year but you could start from next year so the money is there waiting to pay for it.  Why not do one of the savings challenges on here? 

Sarahwithlove

If you are able to use the week for some planning and administration. You say you cook several meals as fussy eaters. Are there meals you all eat or only take odd tweaks to make everyone eat it? Maybe do a menu plan and sit down with kids to decide on meals and then you can shop based on that. Do an inventory of cupboards, fridge and freezer etc to see what you already have. 

FloBoJangles

enthusiasticsaver said:

You seem to be quite  on top of your spending and the breakdown of expenses fairly comprehensive.  Although you do have debt it is not unsurmountable.  Is it possible to reduce that home furnishings etc to over pay the debt and get rid of it faster?  Are you paying interest on the credit cards? Well done on the NSDs too.  

I think moving your salary and only paying it in on payday is a good idea.  Otherwise January will be a long month.  Do you have any emergency savings and do you save for things like Christmas, Car expenses and Childrens Expenses? Obviously if your service/mot is due January then it is a bit late for this year but you could start from next year so the money is there waiting to pay for it.  Why not do one of the savings challenges on here? 

Hi EnthusiasticSaver. Yes thats my plan. The home furnishings was reasonably high in 2022 as I did a bit of decorating. I can't see me doing a lot in 2023 other than probably my youngest son's room. He has the box room and currently sleeps in a cotbed but the plan is to try to fit a bespoke bed in there to make the best use of the space now that he's getting bigger.

I succeeded with paying myself late in December too - hurrah!

Yes I do intend to start savin properly in 2023 for all known big expenses!

FloBoJangles

Sarahwithlove said:

If you are able to use the week for some planning and administration. You say you cook several meals as fussy eaters. Are there meals you all eat or only take odd tweaks to make everyone eat it? Maybe do a menu plan and sit down with kids to decide on meals and then you can shop based on that. Do an inventory of cupboards, fridge and freezer etc to see what you already have. 

Hi Sarah, its beyond just fussy eating to be honest. I've played that down. My youngest sees a dietician and has all sorts of feeding issues. It makes it all very taxing and tiring. I dread mealtimes every day.