Miserable Sunday

BRB881

Having a bad day today, thinking about our debt mountain. I’ve been quite positive about it but I think that a quiet Sunday has given me too much thinking time. 

Feel overwhelmed by the amount we owe (over 70k) even though I know we can pay it off. It feels very lonely and as though we are the most indebted people in the world!

I know it’s all relative, but I feel like our debt is so much higher than anyone else’s that I have heard of. 

sourcrates

Mine was £157,000 at its worst, and there are many others on this forum with well over 100k of debt, and yes, it can be a very lonely place, sat wondering how this happened, and why me?

Truth is though, nearly everyone is in some kind of debt, it`s just one of those things us brits never talk about, it`s always the elephant in the room, and I`m not sure why that is to be honest, folk don`t like to feel a failure I guess, I don`t know, but for some reason we never talk about debt, ever.

Which is why a forum such as this is a valuable asset, as mostly it`s easier to talk to a stranger than it is a family member about money and debt.

Make no mistake. there are millions just like you, overstretched and unable to make ends meet, very few of us are in a position where we budget correctly, always pay our bills, and don`t carry any debt, a lot of people manage their finances ok, but a whole lot more have trouble doing so, and there really is no shame in that, it`s the society we live in, poor wages for most, the lure of easy credit, although not so easy these days, it can be very easy to get into trouble, one small blip, and the house of cards comes falling down.

You will get there, it may take time, depending on what options you choose, but you can do this.

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry the debt is getting to you today. I am sure you are not alone in having high debt commitments. The availability of cheap credit, the culture we live in and government policy which does not encourage saving and everything is buy now pay later means no doubt many people are now carrying high loan and credit card balances and no doubt many haven’t yet taken their head out of the sand.

 Regret is understandable but use this as a determination not to get in this position again once the debt is sorted. Expensive holidays, cars and lifestyle are all very nice but come at a price and not only financially. I expect your mental health has suffered too. You are allowed to be sad about that but ultimately only sorting out a plan to straighten your finances out and sticking to it will help. Even looking on a few diaries in this forum will show you that you are not alone. 

EssexHebridean

Have a browse around the diary section on the board as ES suggests - you'll find all manner of different levels of debt owed, from a relatively small headline figure but with an incredibly tight starting surplus and little wiggle room for savings to be made due to high priority bill costs, through to figures which literally leave you wondering how on EARTH people can ever even begin to make headway. 

Other things that some people find helpful are making a chart or a spreadsheet that they fill in when they make payments to the debt so they have a visual reminder of how far they've come, and setting themselves small (cheap!) rewards when certain levels are hit - for example 10% paid off, 25% paid off, particular debts cleared and gone....you get the idea. When we were hammering away at our mortgage our spreadsheet became my bible too - and the same thing can apply to a snowball calculator or similar. Remember as well that the challenges to hit certain milestones don't just have to relate to clearing the debt either - why not think about joining the Grocery Challenge over on Old Style for example and see how much you can bring your shopping bills down by? 

Aspiration

I was over £100k, the worst part was I didn’t have anything incredible to show for it, just living costs and spending here and there. 

Covid simplified everything and showed how much we were spending just on things.

It’s definitely a journey and you’re bound to have days feeling fed up, euphoric and anywhere in between. 

Good luck 

Ex_welsh_borrower

BRB881 said:

Having a bad day today, thinking about our debt mountain. I’ve been quite positive about it but I think that a quiet Sunday has given me too much thinking time. 

Feel overwhelmed by the amount we owe (over 70k) even though I know we can pay it off. It feels very lonely and as though we are the most indebted people in the world!

I know it’s all relative, but I feel like our debt is so much higher than anyone else’s that I have heard of. 

Not alone, I always read the diaries and threads on here to offer support where I can and sometimes just to remind myself, I'm not unique and a lot are going through the same issues. I was 51k in Feb 2021 got it down to 36k as of today long road but just trying to feel positive about the number going down each month and not up.

tealady

I remember (sort of) a thread which was called 11 years a slave (someone will put me right on the title). If you think your debt is high have a look at that one. Just remind yourself that every ones lifestyle is different so dont compare the amount you owe with others.
Getting out of debt can be a long, hard slog. It has ups and downs for many.
I got myself out, and this site became my go source of comfort, advice and inspiration (it still is). I could clear a room by just saying "according to Martin"
Just remember two things, baby steps and budget. Tell yourself you can do this.
Good luck.